I unknowingly ate a pot brownie my room mate left on the stove

Yep, very much so.

How much weed was in it? Did you get high?

Start chugging vinegar working out alot if possible.

praying might help

>eating random exposed shit that isn't yours

you deserve it. I hope your roommate ran his dick on it and a dozen roaches took a shit there too

Pot lasts in your body for like 30 days I think. If you're on probation have fun going to jail and getting raped

>>35264506
>pot lasts thirty days

Only if they're testing your hair. A urine test (majority of drug tests) only test up to 7-10 days beforehand

>>35264419
Your best bet is to dilute your urine before the test and take a Vitamin B12 supplement. Look up the wikihow on how to pass a urine test. This might not even work since the test is so close but good luck regardless

>5 days

yep

iirc you can make it by drinking a lot of water and exercising a lot but even then it will take a few weeks.

>>35264419
Look into a product called xtra clean. It dilutes you piss but probably won't work alone

ask ur roomm. to take the test 4 u

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>>35264419
Just do an oil change dickwad

>>35264419

You're shit out of luck OP. There is literally nothing you can do to clear it out of your system.

You might be able to get some fake piss though.

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>>35264419
First off kick your roommate out for drug use.

Here are your options:
1) start looking for a new job..
2) borrow somebody else's piss and conceal it. (don't use a girls piss)

>>35264609
My drain plug is seized I can't

>>35264419
What's the piss test for?

Weed is detectable in your bloodstream for at least a month, so yeah, you're fucked. No two ways about it.

Just be honest and say "I'm a dumb retard who accidentally ate a pot brownie because I thought it was a regular brownie"

>>35264706
>Weed is detectable in your bloodstream for at least a month

In your fatty cells, not your bloodstream. Marijuana is only detectable through a blood test within 48 hours.

As for OP, I had a roommate who had a crazy high metabolism and was on probation. He would smoke once a week, then run like a motherfucker and drink as much water as he could stomach. Never failed one while I was with him, but again, he was skinny and his metabolic rate was abnormally high. The only surefire way is to either acquire somebody's clean piss and keep it in your freezer to thaw it the day of, or purchase synthetic piss, which I've never done before. Either way, the most important thing is that it's at room temp once it gets into the hands of the nurse. Use something like an empty eyedrop container or whatever, make sure it's clean, put thawed piss in there, tape/tuck it under your gooch and add one of those hand warmers for good measure. It'll feel good on your crotch on the drive there. Rarely will private companies contract somebody that actually stands there behind you and watches you, but if that's the case, just make sure it's in some kind of squirt bottle.

>>35264887
And while it may sound stupid, practice this whole procedure at home the night before, with water obviously. Make sure everything works they way it should.

>>35264432
I don't know how much was in it and it was the best feeling ever

>>35264475
We'll he said he left me a brownie on the stove top and that I could have it if wanted it

Lmao just find a clean dude and pay him for his piss. A $5 bill should do the trick.

>>35264553
Thanks man would drinking a shit ton of water and working out help?

>>35265124
IF you have a very high metabolic rate, IF you weigh less than 160 lbs and IF you run like a mad bull with a hot stick of rebar up his ass for two miles a day, yes.

>>35264697
A job and I kinda really need a job

Are you fat OP? THC is fat soluable so it stays in fat peoples systems longer. If you're 20+ pounds overweight you're fucked. If no get some niacin from the drugstore and start working out. On the day of your test buy a 32 oz bottle of gatorade. Mix in a full box of fruit pectin, and drink 2-3 hours before your test. This will coat your kidneys allowing you to pass.

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>>35264419
>>35264419
>>35264419
>>35264419
>>35264419
OP listen to me because I have done a lot of research on this subject and the people in this thread have no fucking idea what they are talking about.

1. If you have not smoked pot in the last month, and you ate this brownie, you should be fine. If you have a clean bloodstream and smoke weed, the THC-COOH metabolite is only detectable about 3-4 days later. Probably is similar for edibles.

2. Between now and the test, go for a 30 minute jog or more for the next 3 days. Drink lots of water too, but technically it shouldn't do anything because you can't "flush" the THC-COOH out of your system. Some people say cranberry juice works, but there is no real reason to believe flushing it out of your system will work.
Why? Because the metabolites are stored in your fat cells, and the fat cells release the metabolite at a constant rate. Unless of course those fat cells are burned aka through exercise, in which case your blood levels of THC-COOH will increase at first, then decrease once they are urinated out.

3. Drink lots of water the day of the test, but not so much that your urine is noticeably diluted. Your piss should be clear, but just barely so.

You'll be fine.

Look, you're gonna see 100+ evasion tactics on this thread that may or may not work, but again, the only surefire way this can work is by following >>35264887

I would prioritize that.

>>35264419
I hope you fail for smoking weed lol loser

>>35264419
>eating other people's food without asking

You deserve any misfortune that befalls you from this.

>>35264553
>Only if they're testing your hair.
THC is fat soluble, 7th grade. If your work sends the piss to a lab, it could be still be dirty after two months of quitting if you're a daily smoker.
>>35265124
Is it just a cup test, or do they outsource the testing?
If it's an on the spot test, just look up the fruit pectin trick and you'll be golden.

>>35264590
this is the most hilariously stupid thing i've ever seen on this hellsite

>>35265199
Drink lots of gatorade the day of the test. It will dilute the sample and all the sugar will keep you from burning fat and releasing metabolites stored in fat.

>>35264419
You have two options. Either find a guy's clean piss, or explain the situation and hope they'll believe you.

>>35264667
tfw no girl to borrow piss from for "concealing"

>>35265220
That won't work. The piss has to be at body temperature. If you give them piss that's not the right temperature they'll fail you.

>>35265312
>it could still be dirty after two months

Yeah but that's in extreme cases. You'd have to smoke daily for a year straight, rarely to never work out, and have shit metabolism. Obviously OP is fucked but this isn't the case for most people

>>35265362
Which is why I said to keep it under your gooch, with a hand warmer tucked under the crotch of your jeans on the drive there. I've done this twice.

>>35265199
Dude you're the shit thanks

>>35265464
listen to this dude >>35265199
hopefully ill get tested for a job here next week, last weekend i smoked a blunt around a campfire on the beach with some friends
been clean for months before that, it's probably out of my piss already
if you've been clean for a while beforehand you'll be fine