There was once a really amazing thread on the old 4chan archive

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There was once a really amazing thread on the old 4chan archive where it tried to find the most pathetic person on r9k. There were a few amazing contenders posting their story in green text and it was pretty powerful and depressing stuff.

The winner of the thread was basically a dude who had hit his thirties while only reaching hand-holding status once, lived alone and wore sunglasses whenever he was outside (solely for shopping) due to his eyes not adjusting to the light.

Who's the most pathetic individual you've met or heard of in your life or on the internet if not your own self, Robutts?