>randomly friend request on my normiebook that I use once

>>35243234
>say a girl is cute
>she says thanks
>say "uh huh"?
don't respond to a response like that it kills the convo

also if you actually wanna do something with her seal it quick before she gets bored, she has contacted you randomly and is in the palm of your hand. Don't drag it out with small talk, ask her somewhere.

>>35243234
>uh huh
Jesus anon

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Bro...it's catfish.

>You're hot, by the way!

You've already fucked up. Never compliment until she's complimented you. Also you're posts are too long compared to hers.

>>35243234
>Atractive enough for a young woman to like you

You should go back to reedit for advise

Le orignal comentario u dumb robot

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Then she asks this
>pic related

I really don't know how to cook that much but apparently she's into men who can cook

I just don't know how to talk to a girl, maybe that's why I'm still a virgin

>>35243234
>uh huh
it's so nice seeing you guys being autistic every time you have to handle a girl. glad im not alone there

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>>35243404
>not really, But I like it when I'm Hungry
You can't make this stuff up

>>35243404
Shes old and done with the cock carousel looking for a man that can provide and cook for the children

>>35243404
>why don't we have have a cook off
>you bring home the turkey and i bring home the bacon

>>35243404
christ dude what the fuck

both of you are acting really weird but you're just topping the autism charts

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>>35243404
>not really but I like it when I'm hungry

Did you really say that anon?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHABAHAHAHAAHHA

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>>35243234

>You're hot, by the way! ;)

You're being had my man. Sheilas don't just add randoms, randoms add them. Bitches get so much attention online they don't have to seek it. Why do you think social networks are cancer? Because women are the main users.

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>>35243404
any more anon

quality post

>>35243404
Tell her you make a mean spit roast.

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After that, I ask her for her number, she gave it to me and told me she's kinda in the mood for sharing the bed with a man
>WEW LAD
sent picture laying down on bed

>>35243858
ask her if she wants to meet

>>35243858
Send cum tribute

>>35243858
>wives son
good luck, anon

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Pic she sent... my dick is diamonds
I'm gonna end up sexting with her, she's horny

>>35243951
>this is some kids mother
How could anyone ever respect women?

you are either trolling or it's catfish

>Don't talk to me of my girlfriends son ever again

Have some self respect. A used up gash with a spawn. Come on now.
Think through it. Adds you out of the blue, is approachable, lives 20 minutes away, is 27, has a son.

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GET THE FUCK OUT CHAD
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

original Kontent

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>>35243951
*inhales*
GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET THE FUCK OUT NOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

btw she's pretty hot, if that's your ticket to normiehood, you should definately take it.

>>35244035
Maybe OP is a Chad? There's no fucking way a woman will add you like that if you're not a Chad Thundercock

>>35243858
ask for the number

>wanna grab coffee,always works

>>35243234
Normie land called, they want their Facebook back

>>35244067
Chad wouldn't be posting on /r9k/ about a single mother that's trying to reel him in.

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>>35244112
>implying /r9k/ is not infested of normies, chads, Stacies, and roasties lately

>>35244107
Yeah, well the jerk store called and they want you back!

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>>35243404
>not really, But I like it when I'm Hungry
Kek! I'm going to use this too, you charm troll

>>35243858
You should stop OP if you don't want to get killed and have your organs harvested.

>>35243858
>single. one son
>Ahh. not bad

THE KEK LEVELS ARE OFF THE CHARTS

>>35243858
Now deal the seal by posting your dick pic

>>35244156
A Chad would've already had his way with her and wouldn't know she had a kid until the next morning when he came to wake up his mom for breakfast giving Chad the perfect exit.
The fact OP is considering going out with her and not just nailing her suggests he isn't a Chad. Also you should read his first post.

>>35243858
Just pray to yourself her son isn't black lmao

>>35243404
Ask her if she's a robot. Robots can't answer this question properly and you'll have your answer

>>35243951
Op, wtf did you write about that local buy product?

>>35243858
OP, don't go anywhere near single mothers!

Even if you're a virgin (by the looks of it you are)...Seriously it isn't worth it, you'll end up falling for her I can guarantee it.

I know this because it happened to me.

Whatever you do op make sure she will meet you in a public place first (cafe, bed bath & beyond, whatever). If she wants you to go straight to her house it is a scam and you will die.

>>35244265
Some shit about how chicken tastes better if on the grill, microwave, or oven. Best Buy had an offer of one of these new "smart cooking" stoves that brings grill, an oven, and a microwave altogether.

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>>35244363
Shit, that sounds pretty cool actually

>>35244327
This. They'll get you to slowly start helping with the kid and eventually you will form a bond. Then if she gets pregnant again (most likely), she will keep and say wouldn't it be great if you had that connection with a child of ours. After the kid is born you will see her crazy side.
This didn't happen to me but I've seen it happen. If you aren't a single father stay the fuck away from single mothers.

>>35244363
Why did she care about that?

Her messages are extremely similar to what I spewed out when messing around with a fake facebook account of a hot girl, and your responses almost identical to what I got in return, down to the typing style and all.

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Op if this is true timestamp on your hand with a pic of your face. I want to see what you look like

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>>35244401
You can use your smartphone to lower or higher stove fire, to set the grill temperature, and control the microwave all from your smartphone sitting in your couch watching football.

The MURICAN way

>>35244422
Sounds like a product someone who can't cook would by. If he can't cook and she can then she has demonstrated value. Hence why she brought up cooking. I doubt this is her first rodeo. She knows men like to eat and like having someone cook for them.

>Inb4 she uses the D.E.N.N.I.S system on OP and it works

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>>35244422
Because apparently she likes to cook

it's probably one of thsoe things where they act like you're special or important to their future and ask to meet you somewhere private so as to harvest your organs

I remember browsing /x/ late at night and this pizza guy delivered to a room and the lady was hitting on him.. told him to call her and set up a meeting, he went to it and never came back

>>35244479
Dennis? Tell me more anon sama

Dubs and it is a trap who hates cooking

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And finally ended up showing tits

I think I'm gonna lose my virginity soon lads, she saw my dick and loved it

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>>35244466
That roastie pic won't make me fall for it, I'm never posting a pic of my face on 4chan, fuckboii

>>35244553
What do you look like niqqa?

OP post face and timestamp or

>S
>A
>G
>E

>>35244511


D- Demonstrate Value
E- Engage Physically
N- Nurture Dependence
N- Neglect Emotionally
I- Inspire Hope
S- Separate Entirely

Neglect emotionally when she's gotten what she wanted.
Inspire hope to keep him orbiting just in case.
Seperate entirely when she has found a new sucker.

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>>35244475
Fuck, I need to get me one of these. What is it called and does bestbuy ship to Britbongistan

>>35244553
You got a nice rack anon

>>35244507
You killed him anon!

>>35243234
>I made a comment about some random product our local Best Buy store Facebook page posted
damn, son

>>35244598
Just flash your tits for someone on best buy, ask him for a date and steal it while he takes a shower

Fuck sake OP. If you're doing this just fuck her, don't get attached and keep emotions out of it. Most important part WEAR A FUCKING RUBBER!!
Always wear a joey when mounting a single mother.

>>35244553
Post screenshots of messages OP

>>35244553
You can literally suck on those tits to drink. I'm so jealous.

>tfw can never send lewd texts to girls because my dick is little boy tier

>>35244653
God fucking damn I know that feel, senpai. I know the fucking feel.

What are your stats?
Here are mine:
>Flaccid - 1.5"
>Erect - 4"

>>35244697
Same flaccid and erect 3" maybe 3.5" didn't really measure since a long time ago. My dick literally hasn't changed since I was 12.

Gonna have to find closet pedophile girls into shota dicks or into mommy / son roleplay.

>>35244743
What about joining the trap team?

>>35244743
Make a discord for it and throw it around soc and b

>>35244697
hahaha my flaccid dick is 4in

erect is 7in
girth is 5.5in
pretty average desu

but anyways I am genuinely a /fit/ socially autistic chad who gets girls coming up to me asking me for my number but I am way too fucking autistic to text them back

I'm 6'2", /fit/ and good face

but fuck man social anxiety, depression is a killer, plus dudes are jealous cunts seriously it's terrible including that I got a massive flinch from my abusive childhood I have to deal with these wannabe tough guys trying to pick fights with me cause they're girl is all over my dick when I wasn't going to do anything anyway cause I'm autistic

FUCK
BEING GOODLOOKING ISN'T ALL IT CRACKED UP TO BE LAD

literally in highschool half the people loved me and half the people hated me and would say shit like "look it's the big 'ard guy coming through, fucking asshole"

>asshole
I'm literally nothing but nice to anyone :( STOP PLS

I come off as an intimidating asshole cause I look like one, but I'm really soft and sensitive fucking hell I barely even insult people on 4chan

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>>35244743
Life is hard. Mine still looks like a babydick, although I did experience a little bit of growth around 16 and 17, hence the 4" which is a little bit more than child dick but still embarrassing as fuck

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>>35244813
Run from this hellhole while you can

you guys think you have it tough? my flaccid dick is like 1.5in, erect is 6.5in. it's comical

>>35244813
>they're
also I'm a retard

I bet in another life I traded all other good qualities just for looks

haha I bet I didn't know I wouldn't be able to use them!

killme...

>>35244843
This is my first week on /r9k/ after being on the chan since I was about 12 lol

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>>35244853
This board is one of the three most cancerous ones on this site . Run Chad run or you'll let all this garbage get to your head and turn into a Eugene

>>35243858
>single mother
ABORT

>>35243294
This girl started messaging me the other day and we've been texting a bit. My friends and I went out drinking last night and I asked her to come along and she did for a bit. But she has a boyfriend, maybe I have a chance? She seemed to be interested, interested enough to come hang out with some stranger.

>>35244845
Holy shit what a grower

>>35244941
In order from worst to least worse, do think it's /b/, /pol/, /r9k/?

/b/ is number one for sure. There's nothing more cancerous than normie mainstream teenagers.

>>35244941
/pol/, /b/ and /fit/?

I already browse /pol/, stopped browsing /b/ 2 years ago because it's full of retards saying "LMAO NIGGER TURKRAOCH XXDDDD" every 2 seconds, I just arrived here but it seems interesting...

I've been sad my entire life probably from my upbringing and I just like empathizing with people since it is rarely had IRL. In real life people would normally ask me "why the fuck do you have any trouble with that [insert hostile insults here]", it's fucking jealousy, and I can't really just explain my mental problems to them because it's IRL and you get judged for that shit.

>>35245015
/b/ is undisputed for sure . Then /r9k/ then /pol/, the self loathing and pathetic posts on here are way too retarded for there not to be a petition going around to euthanize anyone that has posted more than three greentexts on here

>>35245118
Yeah I'd have to agree on that order. This board though. Obsessed with women, desperate for women. These cunts have so many problems that a woman is the least of their worries.

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>>35243294
>>35243342
>>35243366
>>35243389
>>35243411

Let me tell you guys how your view of relationships sounds:

>1st date with a girl
>"Oh, hey there, Lex. How you doing?"
>"bruh", sweats, eyes bulge
>"PASSWORD CORRECT. ACCESS GRANTED"
>pussy juices soak through every piece of clothing despite it being winter
>immediate public sex

1 day

>wake up, she's lying by your side
>you forgot the magic word
>"that was nice wasn't it darling"
>"eww, you speak like a human, that's creepy!"
>chad penis erupts from floor
>the girl's ass is instantly magnetized, slams into it full force
>pulled into the chadspace and gone forever

>>35244968
>she has a boyfriend
>maybe I have a chance?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

NOPE.

>>35244590
You're mentally ill, that blabbering of yours has too many plot holes.

>>35245571
I think you might be retarded and/or retarded.

Tl;dr I think you might be retarded and/or retarded.

>>35245343
tldr

if you think the uh huh was smooth you're autistic and dont get bitches

>>35245631
If I'm retarded or not is beside the point, your mental illness was the main idea.

tl;dr keep being mentally ill

>>35244968
>she has a boyfriend, maybe I have a chance?

Kill yourself you fucking autistic faggot.

>>35245737
>implying he doesn't

You're in for a rude awakening in the future.

>>35245634
I'm not saying he's a pussy master. I'm saying that you wouldn't want a bitch who will leave you for breathing the wrong way.

>>35243234
There are a bunch of people who make really well made fake profiles of girls and catfish desperate guys for money. It's one of the easiest scams to get into.

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>>35245343
>You've been nominated!

>>35245762
This ogringonale tells it like it is

>>35245761
So what? ..Fucking nerd chasing sloppy seconds

>>35245785
It sounds tiring as fuck, not easy at all. It's a very niche thing anyway, not that many suckers left.

>>35245762
She shouldn't be talking to autists who can't even hide it through text

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>>35244182
Fucking this lmao
OP what the fuck are you doing?

>>35245841
Most of them are sloppy seconds, chill.

>>35245878
>It's a very niche thing anyway, not that many suckers left.
There are many suckers left. You just have to know where to find them.

>>35245883

Everyone is slightly insane and socially inept. Too much social aptitude is not normal, it looks from aside like the person is trying to crowd please or being an enormous asshole. So why hide the normal thing? Why live a life with a fake girlfriend who only loves the insanely grimacing stone mask on your face?

>>35245958
>where to find them

Not commenting on fb about chicken and grills, I'd imagine

>>35245988
Too deep, my man, you've touched me internally and totally not ironically

>>35246113
I'm a guy, actually know a guy in real life who's like that. He often sounds very rude or unnatural even without trying. I think I (mostly) don't hate him just because I understand what's going on. What's worse, I'm not sure he does.

>>35245988
>>35246113
But you're almost totally wrong.

>>35246175
Explain, with any luck you'll make me see the truth.

>>35246210
It's not very safe out there, to open yourself like that. I don't think there are that many untaken girls out there that would appreciate an aproach like that. True story. I tip my fedora to you, sir!

>>35246247
Well, screw them if they don't appreciate me for my autistic self. I see romance as a long ride, not some kind of objective to complete at any cost, especially not at the cost of my hobbies, (most of) my habits and (most of) my personality.

Post more Pics of the chat OP.

>>35246297
Well, you're right about that part, but your chances kind of suck.

>>35246323
No regrets here.

>>35243404
> Don't be intimidated, but I'm not a stereotypical guy. If anything, I'll be the one in the kitchen =D.

>>35246359
Keep it right up, then. We need more like you.

I seen her on /fit/ she told a guy she wanted someone " clean for a threesome" lol

>>35246445
Because otherwise you'd be screwing yourself over. Done it a couple of times, it's terrible.

>>35246508
I also can't stop replying to myself. I guess schizophrenia is finally setting in. Lmao

>>35243404
>hmmm... not really. But I like it when I'm hungry. You?
Okay I get it's fucking boring thing to say but what would be the better answer?

>>35243858
>single mom
>looking for a man who can cook

abort. she's looking for a provider cuck.

Have fun getting blackmailed and your dick getting posted on facebook retard

>>35246598
Are you

>le epic iplying

that anyone could recognise his dick on facebook? Fucking kek at your life famiglia

>>35245988
She's a single mother...She knows he's a retard and doesn't care

>>35244845
Im the same
t. me

>>35243234
What kind of depraved woman goes out looking for men on the best buys page? Stay away anon.

>>35244813
God, I hate ironic posters.

>>35245048
Or maybe because you sound like an insufferable cunt.
I don't even know you, but just reading the way you type makes me hate you.

>>35245343
Wow, literal autism in action. That's a rare sight.

>Cries about normiebook
>still has normiebook account
>wishes he was normie too

>>35243951
please dont date some girl who has someone elses kids

>>35244813
>>35244697
>>35244653
i seriously hope these posts are ironic

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>>35243858
>Single mom
Op get the fuck away run as fast as you can

>>35243234

>uh huh

Jesus fucking Christ

WHAT DOES THE KID LOOK LIKE THOUGH?!?!

C'mon OP, we wanna see if your milf has a mullato spawn. That way we'll know she has been officially BLACKED

>>35244553

>suddenly she is blonde

/r9k/ falls for anything...
Or is it ledit?
Who knows

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>>35250296
Where you see the blonde here, nigger?

>>35243858
>single, one son

Hahahaha. Guaranteed coal burner

>>35250625
He's talking about her hair in the tit pic.

>>35244941
this girl looks familiar to me, does she go on omegle?