who else here /schitzoid/? Find it incredibly hard to express

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No you are not schizoid, you're just an idiot who spends his time reading shit on wikipedia instead of improving his miserable life.

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not schizoid but schizophrenic
>tfw your life is merely a dream
>tfw the bible, the orphic texts on dionysus, and the myth of the golem are all metaphors of your state
>tfw used to preach in public trying to wake the sheeple
>tfw voices try to get you to kill yourself
wew lad

>>35206121
>be schitzoid
>live a relatively normal life because im not a fucking retard

>>35206121
I like your haircut I might get mine cut that way

>>35207034
Cheers, aha. I like it too. What is there to like about it?

>>35206965
Schizoaffective reporting in

>tfw the voices tried to get you to kill yourself and other people
>tfw stay awake for days on end
>tfw wandering empty parking lots at night taking videos to prove I was being "followed"

Thank dog for antipsychotics.

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>>35207060
>Thank dog for antipsychotics.
fucking dogs, i used to have this thing where i thought the messengers were transmitting messages to my head through dogs' brainwaves. now i realize it was just an hallucination mixed with a delusion tho. i even have a doggie of my own

>>35207104
Glad you caught it. Isn't it strange to be on the meds and then come out of that psychosis?

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>>35207151
very strange. i feel ambivalent about it. im glad now my thoughts are not all scattered, im glad i can concentrate again, and that i can perform basics functions i couldnt at the moment. im also glad im not paranoid all the time. on the other hand, i felt like a messiah back then and that gave me a huge ego boost. now that ive been stripped (for the most part) of that belief and that feeling i feel depressed. it doesnt help that my life is going nowhere. how has your experience been on meds? and do you go to theraphy

>>35207270
Meds were night and day for me. Good lord, I felt like my fever had finally broke. I was convinced I was going to be the greatest author the world had ever known. It was actually shit too, I kept destroying myself because I had absurdly high standards for myself. The voices kept writing down everything for me though, so I kinda miss that.

I do go to therapy. I've found it to be tremendously helpful

>>35206121
>feeling alienated
>admitting your flaws

Kek, you're just edgy you little fuck.
I have SPD and it's not much fun desu, I don't ever get a respite from the fucking apathy.

>>35206965
>tfw you are both versions of schitz
>tfw you are driving the voices start screaming at you to pull into the other lane so you have to park and listen to your music for a bit

>tfw you wanna close the door like a normal person, but you are forced to close it 17 times to avoid hurting yourself

>tfw bi just to top it off

I am going to die by my own hand at some point, I just don't know when.

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>>35207326
>I do go to therapy. I've found it to be tremendously helpful
does your therapist get deep into your thoughts or does he just ask you about your symptoms, how the week went, etc?

i got stuck for a bit with the therapy and those were the questions every week but my last session i showed the doc some of my drawings and that started a conversation about my fork in the road where i felt i could follow the phallic (the physical hedonism of life) or the divine and how i was paralized cause i couldnt make a decision. there was more to it and he was more eloquent but it was enlightening

>>35207397
>I am going to die by my own hand at some point, I just don't know when.
dont kill yourself anon, there's only one chance to experience the suffering of life. seek it out actively

OP are you in London? I recognise that bus interior

>>35207533
>does your therapist get deep into your thoughts or does he just ask you about your symptoms, how the week went, etc?

My old one was incredible. We explored why my thoughts and voices made me feel so guilty, what the nature of my guilt was, etc. It was deep psychoanalysis and it helped me a lot. My new one has a real roundabout way of doing that, but I think all road still lead to Rome, if you catch my drift.

>>35207600
>Lancashire

Just fucking end me senpai

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>>35207607
my last psych was pretty incisive and new better than the new one how to pull my strings but i left him cause i got stuck as well

>>35207773
Sorry there anon. Getting a good therapist can make all the difference in the world. When you get a good one, stick with him or her.

>>35206121
When will you ever stop posting your face in these threads?

>>35208106
Do you mean when will I stop posting threads with my face?


>never ^^

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>>35208106
he's a qt, he has the right to post his face here. you're just jealous cause you got an ugly face

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>>35208257
Nice artwork, I love it. Very expressive ig I say so myself

SPD and my older brother and father are schizophrenic I'm glad my problems are so much cheaper and less dramatic than theirs but they both have heaps of gfs and I can't be bothered getting one.

https://youtu.be/PudIj0RVEEQ

>>35207533
Your drawings are great anon!

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>>35208307
>>35208629
thanks to both, i use them as a creative outlet and then i take them to therapy so we can talk about them and their meaning

>>35206121
I feel like i could be a schizoid. I'm boring like a door and i've never had interest in intimate relationships.

>>35206121
you're that idiot with weird ears

It took 6/7 on diagnostic criteria and 72 hour observation in a psych ward for me to be diagnosed. Chill with the self diagnosis.
Secret schizoid here suicidal ideation is the background noise to my existence.

Am I schizophrenic? I can easily send myself into psychosis by getting into fights with hardcore white nationalists, feminists, and SJW alt-left types. My blood pressure goes through the roof, but I keep at it until I get spooked or rebuked and then I go into an uncontrolled shock where I feel like a stupid dog barking at fireworks as I try to convince myself that the fireworks present no danger. I have religious experiences and white males look like FBI agents and when I see a poor crippled white amongst poor brown people I think it's an FBI pretending to be poor.or crippled as a way to tease me as I hide from whites.

>>35210039

And on TV the Jews are threatening me to participate in their economy like buy an unhealthy BigMac and I notice all the religious metaphors in movies. Natural cracking sounds in my house scare me and after awhile I think they're aliens, satellite harassment, or god trying to influence me.