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>Hey /r9k/, rate the poem I've been written for this girl I'm in an internet relationship with and I'll most likely never going to meet
I'd like to tell her how amazing she is, i swear i could fill in pages
But my words would be irrelevant, meaningless and stupid
Compared to those said by others, in the dawn of ages
She wouldn't believe them anyway, why did you do it, Cupid
We're losing ourselves in trivial matters, and never ending fights,
Like the brushwood that fuels the passion and the fire,
But it consumes itself throughout the process,
What's left at the end
When there was nothing to begin with
Just chemicals and raging matter.
Trillions of people before and after us,
Why are you special?
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>>35202578
It's beautiful, minus the last two lines
She might misinterpret that as her not being special
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>>35202611
Tbh, the first paragraph is the most relevant/romantic and the most interesting. I think I would just send her the first paragraph so shes not overwhelmed with the intellectual stuff in the second bit
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>>35202578
Oh just read that you're not going to meet her. The first two paragraphs are good.
Pardon the triple samefagging
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The 1st verse is good,but the 2nd is a little meh
Maybe because you start the poem(the 1st verse) with rhymes,and in the 2nd verse you did a free-verse poem,choose one style and do like it.
Is good,but you can do better than that.
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>>35202578
What are you a fucking sissyboi?
>didn't read it
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>>35202578
successfully made me cringe, gj OP
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