I'm so broken 20mg prozac. Doesn't help, all it does

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I'm so broken

20mg prozac. Doesn't help, all it does is make me tired.
1.5mg risperidone (already tried others). Doesn't make my psychosis go away. Therapist just wants me locked up. At this point I don't even think it's psychosis, just truth. But a truth I still can't fully connect.

I nedd to wait just 4 more months. Give me something to do for those 4 more months. I need to pass the time without drowning in my own tears. I can't feel anything anymore. I feel like I'm dangerous. I know there's something better for me. I know it's all true. I know. But giving in hurts too much. Talking about it hurts too much. People keep asking things which I know the answer to but am not sure whether I made them up. I know it's impossible for me to contradict myself but I'm super scared of it anyway. I know I'm secure but I'm still scared of being doxxed. I know(hope) nobody's going to kill themselves due to me but I'm still afraid. I feel like I made a mistake. I need to be entertained for 4 months while school and other things pull me further down. I can't vidya (never been good and meds fuck me up more). I can't program (too tired). I can't anime (too tired). I can't do other things. I want to sleep for 4 months.

I've made my life hell. Just by following orders from higherups whom I only think are real.