>in jury duty >please stand up and state your name, how

kek. is jury duty really mandatory in the us?

They knew you were an unemployed virgin before you even said anything.

"Unemployed, single"

No one would care

>>35182157
Yes but you have to be registered to vote in order for it to happen.
And since voting is fucking worthless unless you live in one of the purple states, it's easy to avoid.

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>on the jury about a year ago
>set a black man free
How absolutely devastated are you right now?

>>35182697

nope, I never registered to vote and I got the summons. got a doctor to write a note and I got out of it though.

>>35182138
Here is a (You) for making me laugh.

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>In jury duty
>They tell me to state if I've had sex or not

>>35182138
You certainly didn't have to say anything about your virginity. When I served they didn't even ask us our relationship status, just employment status.

>>35182756
If it was a non-violent crime, good for you

>>35182675
This. bloxifuck you op

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>>35182915
Top Kekekeekekek anon

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>in jury duty
>they bring virgin test kit out
>force jurors to take it in front of courtroom
>im a 32 year old man
>mfw

>>35182138
When they send you the mail, tick the box that said insufficient understanding of English Language. Then they'll never both you again

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>>35182138
At least you didn't go through the pre-court penis inspection. I didn't either, but I heard stories.

>>35182138
>>35182915
Are you guys memeing or serious? I have upcoming jury duty and this makes me even more afraid to go

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>>35183120
>>35183348
never heard of these things
>"virgin test kit"
>"penis inspection"
anyone care to explains

>>35183594
Just to test to account for any subconscious bias, virgins would be more likely to be favourable to the accused (provided they're of the sex they're attracted to)

You could always pretend to be gay

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>>35182138

Not being young resident lvl physician and getting excused from every jury duty as well as social mores such as having a long term relationship by your mid 20's.

Feels gud, famalam.

>>35182697
not true. I got jury duty before I had a chance to register to vote when I was 18.

>>35183120
wow that sucks. for mine at least they had the decency to put me behind a curtain. although it didn't help when the person doing the inspection started laughing after seeing my micropenis. Do these people have any empathy? I already feel bad enough as it is and its a pretty sensitive subject
.

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oldfag here

just throw the summons in the trash next time. they send you like 3-4 letters before getting mad even then you're more likely to get hit by a car and die then get in trouble for ignoring jury duty. if you want to go to let a drug dealer loose that's cool though.

>>35183479
Just say you're single

>>35183120
do you have to take this for Jury duty? what purpose does that serve? i never heard of something like in America.

>>35185015
This, I didn't go to my last summons because I could make more than 15$ a day sitting at home shitposting or even going to work

reeeeeeeee


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GHDqAQ4Crk

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>>35182138
>judge notices my virgin walk

>>35182697
No. You can get summoned to jury duty anytime after you turn 18 UNLESS you're in the military or you're a felon

I met my gf in jury duty

>>35185787
>15$ a day

Wtf I thought they would pay you more seeing how they are practically forcing you away from your job for over a week

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>get jury duty
>investigate how I survived to 28 with no job
>think I'm drug dealer

>>35185855
It's like 15 - 17$ here in commiefornia

I missed 3 days of work and got like 43$
Fucking waste

>>35185903
I've been lucky and haven't got summoned.

Can your job fire you or do they charge you personal days or what

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>>35182138
>tfw I failed penis and height inspection

>state your name when your name is called
what

>police knock on my door
>hand a paper to me stating i will be on jury duty
>ask me my name age and relationship status so they can write me down
>uh anon, 30. ummmm i-im virgi... i mean single
>the guy asking me questions smiles
>the rookie he was with, she laughs than looks down at my junk and back to me
>ok sir sorry to bother you ha..*chmm* *clears throat* sorry but youre not fit for jury duty
>they gave me a sticker that i have to keep on my front door at all times or else i will get fined and than put in the daily newspaper virgin column
>the sticker says "residence holds persons over the age of 30 whom hold virgin status"

>>35186293
It's to check if you sound like a virgin.
Only virgins sound weird when they say their own name.

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>>35182138
>get called in for jury duty
>they tell me to state my dick size
>mfw when I say it everyone starts giggling but trying to hide it
>mfw I thought I was above average size

I got jury duty and now I'm fucking paranoid that the courtroom is going to laugh at me or something for being a virgin

That's if I can even find the fucking courtroom

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>in jury duty
>do the standard virgin test
>think I passed this time, I've been practicing
>"Whose BMW is parked out front?"

>>35185919
They're supposed to give you the time off.

>>35187791
>he doesn't know about the virgin walk
>he doesn't know about the virgin stare
>he doesn't know about the virgin appearance
They'll know just by looking at you, anon.