Stories thread >be me 11th grade >in math support aka

lol dude bunping this

>>35160299
>hear stupid hoes talking about being a hoe
>le rape face meme haha
>be socially retarded
>constantly stare at women like a betafag
>nothing exciting happens in the end

way to post the worst possible greentext of all time you socially crippled autist.

>>35160498
thanks

i appreciate your honesty

>>35160299
>a literal autist wouldn't even do this

>>35160521
just get a life dude

>>35160498
the most believable type of greentext

OP are you in special ed

Welp here is mine
>be me
>5 years ago junior in HS
>go to a hot spring with these 2 grils (Ive known one for a very long time and was invited because they felt bad for me I'm pretty sure)
>at hot spring and the one Im old friends with starts sitting on my lap
>Holyshit man
>start to get a little chub thankfully she's not sitting directly on my croch
>eventually we leave
>drop off that other gril
>she starts driving me to my home
>we pull over and start taking a little bit
I've been drinking a lot that night because I was super nervous FYI
>literally ask if I can finger her (I'm a khv)
>she says sure (slut)
I still have no idea to this day how the fuck she said yes I literally just asked like that
>she pulls down her pants and undies
>can't see shit be cuz it's dark as fuck out and the car is off
>*fingers slip in*
>start to finger bang her
>ask what you do when your fingering cuz I'm autustiv as fuck
>"usually make out"
>lean over and start to kiss I have no idea what the Fuck I'm doing
>make out for like a minute straight
>pull my face back and start fingering her really hard
>she organisms
>I pull out my fingers and then taste them
>"it tastes like fish"
WHY THE FUCK DID I SAY THAT
>drive to my house and never talk about that night again
That was literally my first kiss and time ever being with a gir. I don't talk to her anymore.

>>35160756
top kek

the autism in this thread is getting worse by the minute!

take 4000 mg of caffeine pills
freak out and drink all this water
i'm naked
start puking all over
slip in puddle of puke and hit my head
go into front yard
lay down for a nice relaxin nap
the cops come
a neighbor comes
the neighbor's talking to me and I ignore her
she kicks some pebbles @ me "hey I was talking to you"
I pick some up in front of the cop and throw them at her
"get out of here" I say
go to hospital cuz I almost puked what looked like blood on the cop's shoe
get released 24 hours later

at miley cyrus concert
Wrecking Ball begins
wait for silence before chorus to strike
in the silence I scream at the top of my lungs "I came in like a wrecking ball"
she comes in right after "came in"

>>35160299
@ beach in public bathroom cuz living in car
hear audacious whistling
"shut up" I say
when washing my hands guy comes up to me "did u say shut up?"he says
"yes" I say
"I'll shove this skateboard up your ass" he says
so I go to my car and get the two longest wrenches
he does this stupid move on his skateboard and ends up nearly on the ground
I sneak up and whack him in the head
I pound the shit out of him
these people come and take my wrenches
he starts chasing me on a skateboard
the cops eventually come
get let go because some bathroom cleaning workers heard him say it

b in social studies class in highschool
people are doing the "don't say the N word day" thing
we're talking about it as a class
I suggest "how bout we just go around saying it about everything"
class erupts in laughter

b in same social studies class
friend and I are partners on a project working in computer lab
we're not getting any work done just talking
the teacher says we cannot work together
so my friend was like "well, who am I going to work with?" to the teacher
"well, I don't have a partner, so how bout we be partners?" I say

bumping 4 more stories

friend and I steal fire extinguisher from school
go to park with my car
start spraying it on a tree
guy who works at park comes and starts chasing us
get into car, drive away
go to other park
spray that shit all over the place

great babysitter named drew
mom calls his house
talks to his mom, she asks drew
hears drew say "i don't wanna babysit"
no mo drew

>>35160756
>organisms

lmao wtf nigger

get into argument with mom
she calls cops to take me to mental institution
noped the fuck out of there
stole her car
police chase
I for some reason stop at a gas station like 30 miles away after I lost cops
ask them can they call in my credit card as lost in ten minutes
I escape
police after me on highway
this car blocks the police, they give up
winter in wisconsin
these other cops put out a spike on the road
drive around it
eventually park car in someone's driveway (I feel bad about ths)
then offer at a resturaunt to do some dishes for food
somebody buys me a baked potatoe and a burger
leave
walking through woods
dog is barking at me at a house
he's chained to a tree
I let him off chain
we walk until I see a factory
I was going to ask them to get a ride to Canada
but I decide to be honest and say i'm wanted
cops get called, i'm taken in
no word on what happened to doggo