>tfw can't wipe my ass clean >using too much paper

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>>35149431
>not flushing several times during wiping to make sure you don't clog the toilet

>>35149431
Flush before and after you wipe you retard

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>>35149431
>wipe ass 3 times until toilet paper is clean
>flush
>half an hour later my asshole burns and itches
>go to wipe again
>toilet paper has significant amount of shit on it

REEEEEEEEEEE

>>35149431

1. Shave your asshole
2. Buy a bidet

Showers after shitting master race reporting.

eat more fucking fibre you moron for better formed stools

>wipe till paper is clean
>sticky finger a little in my ass
>have to start wiping all over again

Buy a bidet you barbarian

>>35149431
>2017
>Not using flushable wipes

I really k now that feel boi

>>35149431
Just waddle over to the shower and rinse all the shit off

>>35150312
I have a bar of soap that I only use for my ass. Feels clean, man.

>squat poop on special stool
>big vegan shit
>usually need to get up and flush once before I'm finished
>always flush before wiping because I understand my adult shits and toilet paper can't always go down together in one flush
>go over to mirror and wipe shaved boipucci looking through my legs
>for maximum tp efficiency
>use some wetted tp
>and then a $0.02 wipe, maybe a second if it's been more than a week since I shaved
>don't need to waste any time showering until my next butt shaving
>don't stink because healthy microbial equilibrium reached quickly and not hairy
>no complaints from bf
>cumulative years of life saved not standing in the shower like a normie

>>35150433
I also have a bidet, but it sprays painfully hard and is messy

>>35150433
Today it was a single fat log.

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alternate baby wipes and regular tp anon, in my experience that's the best way short of opening your asshole to the shower

>>35150292
Those flushable wipes aren't actually flushable, but you'll learn that when you have to call Mr. Roto Rooter.

Turns out companies can just lie right to your face about their product, lol.

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Why not hire a meat toilet to clean it for you?

>>35149431
>Eat fiber
>Shave ass so no long hairs
>Get flushable wipes
There you go retard

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Staying seated throughout the shitting and wiping process has changed the game for me. As soon as you start to stand up your asscheeks press together and make a fucking Rorschach doodoo blot. Stay the fuck on the toilet and go through the legs and wipe in a circular motion. Once it is totally clean do NOT stand up right away. Instead, lift one ass cheek and hit it from the back with more TP. If you're clean that direction too, you're good to go and are free to stand up. If not, go back and wipe the other direction.


I have been using this method for 5 years and I only use 5-10 squares of TP each time I shit.