>just found my suicide note I wrote when I was 15 Looking

post it vaporfag

>>35131575
on a scale of nirvana to papa roach, how edgy is it?

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Dickmove, i should of posted it..

>>35131664

Why is your handwriting so bad?

>>35131664

>"I've never kissed a girl"

I (silently) complained about the same thing when I was 16. Back then it was a stupid thing to worry about, but now I'm 21 and getting more autistic every day. I knew something was wrong with me then, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Still can't.

>>35131724
for an american high school guy that's pretty good

>>35131664
It reads

"For me life was never easy, I'm retarded, I am mentally ill yet I am still (???) to be called "clever" and "smart". Because of this torment I hate the stupid, vapid and vain, but I also hate people who are retarded, autism and down syndrome(people) should be killed, including me, but as I say "suicide is for cowards" I will never kill myself, but everyday I think about it, just ending myself in every damn way, bloodless, poison, car train, jump, gunshot, death by cop. I (don't) want to kill anyone, the stuff I've said and done would ruin my cause, this is I write my manifestro, I am 15 years old and in 1 1/2 hours I will be 16. as a child I have once cared about it but how I do. The loneliness and pain will only every be power as (????). I've never kissed a girl. they are not the problem. I can (???) had girls in my grip but never kissed them at all. I have constant thought about my self. "self hating narrasisim" I want to look in the mirror and see a boy with scar, marks, dark circles and (??) hair and mark, spots and pain. Sometimes I look and see a wonderful smooth jawed law, great looking. I feel great and want to be alive that I can make. Maybe I will, with

This was one of three notes, I ripped up the last one when I decided not to kill myself


>>35131724
I'm diagnosed a bunch of stuff

>>35131725
I actually did manage to kiss a girl about a year after I wrote that note but I was never happy about it

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>>35131869
Actually I'm British

Second note reads
"College just around the corner and no exams, I have the best chance I've ever had in my life to make love work. Ive already proved that girls and (???) can love me. But only ever twice. and the would never work. I dream of love and intimacy but thoughts of hatred and shame for people (??????) It burns though me like acid. I will never truly be happy with my current state of mind but I'll try to disregard what I've learnt, w? I feel and hate but never too far, would be awful but will I ever truly be happy at all.
my physical imperfection hide my potential. I am a amazing person but my own devices and hardships meant I cannot do anything. year after year, once I saw a part movie thing with girls, a sweet 16, but I imagined my sweet 16. friends drinks and love, but now I sweet what it will never be. not because I dont have friends but because I have no authority, no chance to (???) a party, no chance to really shine, but because of myself (???). I'm not going to into great detail. so now im just going to live life, I cant tand get into a relationship with girls not (???) the banter. I'm still hopeful, college will be great, even now I think of myself doubting these words, but I want to believe maybe I wont be Chad or have Stacy but be happy, I'll do work and become strong and learn tricks maybe learn to be social and have a kiss.
For now


The third note got into more detail and spoke about my suicide and notes to other people in my life, but after I woke up still alive I ripped it up and see what life would be like in a year or so

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Meanwhile...


You robots can be real twats sometimes

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Its not fair, I worked hard on this thread,
give me one(1) reason why I should just leave this cesspit and migrate to Wizchan or something else

>>35131882
>>35132122
Nice redaction skills senpai

>>35132122
>but after I woke up still alive
So you did try to kill yourself? How?

>>35133416
Hard reading my own shitty handwriting, I had to use a laptop on most exams

>>35133487
I just started sobbing and fell asleep, I planned on jumping three floors out my window

I actually wrote one when I was 10, I hope I never read it, my teacher or my mother probably still has it though; hope my mother never talk to me about it ever again.

>>35133831
Please try to get it back and post it. Please.

This morning
>rewatching ending of The Expanse S2Ep5

>>35133976
I think it would be the most cringe worthy thing ever wrote. To ashamed to even think about it, I vaguely remember about it though. We were in class and we were supposed to write about a dream or a nightmare we had in the past few months, completely craked and wrote I wanted to kill myself because of family issues.
Few days later my mom asks me if need to see a shrink. Ask her why, tells me about my piece of paper, feel betrayed by my teacher. Never said what I really felt to anyone after this for ever, now people think I am the most arrogant human on earth because I never share what I feel like ( they think it's because i think they are too stupid, when really i don't want to feel betrayed like this ever again).

>>35134315
Tell me
We all have throwaway names Anon

Probably not, you're still a faggot.

You wannabe columbine fag , off yourself.