Feels thread >be me >Former 19 year old kissless virgin

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Feels thread

>be me
>Former 19 year old kissless virgin
>Start chatting up this girl I used to go to school with
>She dropped out sophomore year
>got GED and goes to uni
>Start chatting her up
>Tells me that she always thought I was cute and funny
>Say the same thing
>We go on dates
>She is always drunk/ high and I'm straight edge
>New years eve comes around and were making out in the back of my car and she wants to go further but I say no because she's drunk
>Continue talking and dating
>Tells me she's horny
>I say "only if you're sober"
>I go over her house
>She's stone cold sober
>we fuck in the back of my car
>Says I love you
>A couple weeks later I say happy one month
>"Anon we were never in a relationship... You never asked to be my boyfriend"
>Here I am assuming we were in a relationship when it turns out it was nothing
>become anxious mess
>lose 14 lbs in 2 months
>Parents become worried because I never leave the house, lost so much weight, and constantly talk about sadness
>Tell parents I'm fine
>I'm not though, I have no idea what she thinks of me and if I should just stop
>I stop messaging her and eventually she messages me and were friends I guess
>Tfw she sucks your dick and still puts you in the friend zone

>TL;DR she sucked my dick and put me in the friendzone