>"Sorry anon, I feel bad talking to my friends when you're

>>35098626
do they never realize how stupid it makes them look when a group of females all looks into the camera like some surprised squawking chickens all having that thoughtless look on their faces

probably not

>>35098626
insert edgy patrick bateman quote here

>>35098626
Respond with platitudes designed to come across as warm and thankful, yet do absolutely nothing with the advice she gave me

>>35098626
>"I....uh...um..."

>*frrrrrrrrrrtttttttpppppttttt...pt...pt...pt*

>*starts to cry*

>>35098626
fuck up badly in some way

>>35098626
Me grinning and walking at high speed in the back.

>>35098626
I always wanted to own a gun.

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>>35098626
stop projecting your fear

become your fear

become quietness

>nothing, you normies scare me
*silent*
- silently talking - "What is a normie?"
>looking at me weird
>change subject
>they never talk to me ever again

>>35098626
>uhh...*spaghetti falls out of pocket*
>run to my room
>cry
>fap
>browse 4chan
>sleep

>>35098626
shit myself.

>>35098626
in all honesty when you get words like that they at least aren't straight up attacking you

>y-you too

Spill my oregano spaghetti

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Okay friend, let me explain something to you since you seem to be new here. Hebephilia is NOT the same thing as pedophilIa. I'm sick and tired of you trolls popping up everywhere and spreading BLATANT misinformation. In many countries hebephilia is considered normal and healthy . Human beings have a natural attraction to girls who are going through puberty. Being attracted to girls who are pre-pubescent is fucking sick and disgusting, but only in the US does there seem to be an unwarranted taboo around a healthy and normal condition. My head hurts. I'm just trying to get my real life back.

>>35098626
>Let me tell you about how the Kikes control the mainstream media that all of you blind sheeple consume on a daily basis while you slave away for your Zionist rulers

I know the guy in the red tshirt IRL

>>35098626
I'd rather have female attention this way than the way I already have it. I play d&d every week with 3 girls in the group and they basically ignore me.

>>35098626
I would never put my self in this sort of situation.
I would clam up and turn beet red.

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you're fucked now, buddy

should have just been yourself

>>35098626
Get the fuck out of there. It's obviously some sort of set up for something. Check my bags/pockets/anything else to make sure nothing was stolen.

As I am leaving I would try to say something edgy and mean, but would just stumble on my words.

huhhhhhhhhhhh Im failing miserably at life atm and I want to impregnate a 13-15 year old girl really bad, also I ride my bike sometimes!

>>35098860
>Check 'em
original post

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>>35098626
>A bit

Hmm 4chan's active community is the only thing bringing me here, 7chan is pretty fun though

>M-my name is n-not anon though...

>>35098626
So hows your pussys doing anyone in their periods? Hehe just kidding i gotta go take a smelly shit now goodbye

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>>35098626
>E-excuse me, i have cartoon frogs to post."

I was born in a small village. I was still a child when we were raided by soldiers. Foreign soldiers. Torn from my elders, I was made to speak their language. With each new post, my masters changed along with the words they made me speak. With each change, I changed, too. My thoughts, personality, how I saw right and wrong. Words can kill.

I've blown so many loads to this picture. I like to imagine that they are happily watching me.

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>>35098626
>"Haha, look at anon play with his Nintendo handheld. I didn't know Nintendo was even still around!"

>>35098626
1
3
2
5
4

in that order

this wasnt original, kek

>>35098626
stfu dumb roasties! why aren't you sucking my dick, huh?

>>35099182
>that pic

what if you're falling for the trap of 'all lefties are stupid college kids'?

>>35098860
>I live in the American Gardens Building on W. 81st Street on the 11th floor. I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine. In the morning if my face is a little puffy I'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1000 now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.

>Oh don't mind me girlfriends, you know I just get REEOWR when I open my mouth. Darling you are all just FABulous.
Why the fuck else would I be out with 5 girls.

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W-well, i do K-kendo, you know?

>>35102518
lmao what a weeb. What are you gonna do fuccboi, spank me with a stick?

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>>35098626
I masturbate to anime, play obscure Japanese video games and post on meme image boards about depression.

>>35098626
I want to cuddle shadowlady

>>35103288
kek

oregano onagero

>>35098626
They wouldn't acknowledge me in the first place, or say anything to me, so this picture is bullshit.

>implying I didn't prepare by getting drunk

>>35102518
>kendo
no wonder you are a virgin you double nigger

>>35098626
everyone who is quiet like this is creepy.

>>35098829
huh? you shouldn't try social commentary

>>35098626
>tell one of my jokes
>they all laugh
>tell one of my follow up witticisms that is obviously original
>they laugh
>spend the rest if the night entertaining them
>leave and none of them are horny because of me
What kind if curse is this?

I'd explain to them why they shouldn't be allowed to vote.

>>35104653
I know that feel. People seem to love my sense of humor but are not at all interested in me in any sort of deeper level. Is it ironic? Am I just making a cringy ass out of myself so they're laughing at me and not with me? It doesn't seem that way but sometimes I can't help but think that.

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>>35102518
I d-do glorious j-judo it's like wrestling but in pyjamas rather than your underwear haha
Did you see John Wick 2? John Wick does judo. I like KEanu Reeves. He's so sad all the time, like- Not like anyone, I just like him. Haha.

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>>35098626
this happened to me at lunch in jr high actually

>my one friend was sick one day so i sat alone at the lunch table eating my food
>10 minutes in and a group of girls all get up and move to my table sitting all around me
>absolutely humiliating since everyone in the fucking lunchroom was now staring at a pity show
>got up after a minute of awkward conversation and left

>make a joke
>know one gets it

I fucking hate normies

>>35098626
Wake up.


rthrthrthrthrthrthrthrt

>>35105150
I sometimes wonder how dark to go with my jokes around normies. Especially at work.

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>>35098626
I don't even know if this is relevant or not, but anyway... Used to work with my brother and his girlfriend, same sector in the company and everything. Well, he basically used to treat me like shit, not joking when I say my own older brother was one of my worst bullies. So, naturally, adding that to the fact that I'm shy and socially awkward as fuck; I would keep it to myself.
The motherfucker would say the same exact thing over and over: "Say samething, anon. Why so quiet?". Well, that sure made me even more talkative. Nope, I actually started reading in the bathroom, started avoiding them altogether.
Then one they, he's not there. He took the day off, it's just his girlfriend and coworkers. And I was talking my ass off. It was like the little lump on my throat was gone, and I started talking with his girlfriend, made her laugh, talked with the coworkers, showed interest and all.
Than, the other day he's back, and his question too:
"Say something anon." He says, while smirking.
"Just let him be," His girlfriend says. "He was talking with me just yesterday, you were the one not here."
I'm pretty sure she never made the connection, but it ressonated with me. Maybe there are reasons for me to guard myself with new people. Because there sure are alot of them for me to keep it to myself with people that I've known my whole life.

>>35098626
I would never willingly talk to high school girls.

>>35105294
I've learned that it's a terrible idea to use dark humor with normies.

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A. Realise you just got hit by a car and are hallucinating post coma
B. Realise you are being experimented on by the govt. To test a new nerve gas

>>35105484
*hug*
Your brother is a shit.

>>35098626
>flip it around
>say that I'm just not a talker
>mention that i like films
>ask them what kind of films they like
>let them all jabber and argue while I occasionally make a joke and chip in now and again
Appear strong when you are weak, appear weak when you are strong.

>>35105614
I've played it safe so far. When you're most around people who share your sense of humour, or shitposting on here it's hard not to loose the odd
>Don't worry about it too much, we'll all be dead before you know it

I was walking to work with my headphones in. Some roastie nearly ran me down as there was a build-up and I couldn't see both ways. She pulled up next to me and gestured for me to take them out, with a shit-eating grin. Without thinking I said
>What do you think I was hoping for?
She just looked appalled and drove off. Some people eh

>>35101679
WHAT?!

2 is clearly the best
WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU PICK 1?! THEY HAVE PINK HAIR

>>35098626
Well, I have 16 buttholes, 12 penises, an anus full of cum, and a bad attitude.

>>35098860
>I want to stab you all to death and play around with your blood

>>35104154
>>35102839
>>35105011
>mfw i wanted to start doing kendo
>these posts make me think this is a bad idea
w-whats so autistic about kendo?
>also want to try kyudo
>worried this is even more autistic

>>35105911
>i do both
>they make up for most of my interaction with people
do it anon, kyudo is cool

>>35105911
I would recommend judo because I love it. Kendo, lots of people love too. I do understand it be autistic and fairly useless though. Endless drilling. I like drilling in judo. If I could, I would probably just go over throws over and over for weeks on end until the ones I liked to use were absolutely flawless. I just hate that I have to interact with people to do the sport I love. I haven't been in at least a year because I hate small talk so much. Before I moved, I had made 'friends' of sorts. After I moved, I tried a few sessions but all the new people was just too much. Social anxiety is the pits. I still think about judo every day. About my favourite techniques, and how I wish I was practicing them. John Wick did have me grinning ear to ear at time, reminiscing about some of the techniques as he did them, and fond memories associated with them. I'm welling up now, thinking about what I've lost as I sit here in the dark. How did it come to this?

>Tfw no holodeck training partner to endure my autism

>>35105788
>Appear strong when you are weak, appear weak when you are strong
I concur.
Answer a question, ask a question.
When a group of women start panel interviewing you can end up answering a question and one of them gets another question lined up and you're caught in a question loop.

Break out of it be asking questions back.

>>35106016
I think i will. My plan is to start when i move out in April. Im hoping i take to it and can just practice for hours by myself but i dont know if there will be anywhere to do that. Im also hoping that because basically nobody has heard of kyudo the only people there will be on the spectrum and ill be able to get along with them.

>>35106029
I thought about trying judo too but /asp/ and people laugh at judo which put me off. I also heard its sort of more like a dance routine than an actual martial art. I dont know how true this is though.

>>35098626
"Alright, thots.
Which one of you wants to get this tiny autisDICC"

Id go for the pink hair bitch, of course. Probably cockslap the cunt once or twice, see how shit went.

"yeah, you want this, don't you slut"

Then i'd lock eyes with the nigger behind the sluts

Teleport behind him
Unsheathe my meat-tana
And fuck tyrones boypussy until he has to transition and beg for my cock

>>35106235
I think you're confused. That's not judo at all. Plus, /asp/ swears by judo and boxing because they're cheap and effective. They're full contact, meaning anything that doesn't work gets cut. Of course, I stopped using /asp/ around the time it ceased to be martial arts and became mostly WWE, but when it was the MA board judo was held in good regard. I'd encourage you to try it out for yourself. In all likelihood in your first session you will end the session with randori, or sparring. They're unlikely to go too hard on a first timer, but it should still give you enough info to decide for yourself as to whether it's a dance routine or not. There's a reason there's such a high rate of injury in the sport though. I've had my shoulder put out, three ribs cracked and my ankle crushed. It's never been the same; I can't run on it for longer than ten minutes without having to stop to massage the joint.

>>35106363
Maybe im getting it confused with something else. I remember when i looked at judo there were like 10 types (bjj, traditional, aikido, jujitsu and others i cant remember).

I remember people saying that in judo it was like
>grab them here
>then you will fall like this
>then they will do this
>and this will happen
and you just did like dance routines repeating this. I think it was bjj which they said was good but the bjj society at my university were really intimidating at the society fair and its brazilian and well, i dont like brazil.

>>35098626
Literally lived with a bunch of stacies a whole year. This never happened

>>35099668
This is why I'm not invited to passover sedars anymore

>>35106695
>mfw i literally talked to people about the holocaust and holocaust revisionism
>told people i dont believe 6 million died and instead believe a more moderate 2 million or so
>now known as a neo nazi who completely denies the holocaust.
why am i so autistic?

>>35101574
roasties mad me so very angry
with their pig paint caked faces
and their dumb ways
why can't they all just go take a short walk off an even shorter pier

>>35106544
Nah, it'll be aikido if it's all complicit/ instructed throws. Honestly, if someone throws you in judo then you will not need to be told how, except for breakfalls (i.e. how not to hurt yourself too much when you hit the floor). I have been thrown around like a ragdoll, on one occasion by some thin girl (albeit a much more skillful/ higher level judoka than me). She grabbed my lapel, and suddenly I was spinning and sailing through the air. Still, it is much better that you just go try it for yourself and find out. Bjj and judo are kind of two sides of the same coin. They have a common pool of techniques, but whereas BJJ places massive emphasis on groundwork and submission and not much on getting there, judo tends to focus more on throws, and sees the groundwork as secondary. You would employ many of the same techniques on the ground, but in BJJ drills you often start from the floor and don't even bother with the standing part.

All things being equal, a judoka would beat a BJJtera standing, and the opposite would happen if it went to ground. MMA dudes often favour BJJ though, because they tend to favour striking stood, and treat grappling as a transition to ground.

t. done both

>>35106738
I know when I'm saying such things that there is no profit in it, and yet it doesn't deter me at all.

>>35106799
I know this as well. I just dream of getting myself a fellow far right reactionary to talk with. The years of not being able to talk politics in public have pushed me further to the right online and the autism has started to leak out into reality. I need an outlet and the internet isnt enough.

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>>35106865
the cognitive dissonance is fucking painful
it's hard when people like a version of you that isn't you, but not you.

>>35106954
h-ha, yeah... people like a version of me..

Its tangential but, unlike some of the more robotic members of this board, i talk to people at university and we get along. Then its
>oh, anon, we should totally meet up at the weekend
>anon lets go out on saturday
>ill text you, ok?
and then they never text me. If i text them they wont respond and then the next day i might get
>oh, sorry, i was with jannet out partying

I dont know what i do wrong. Are they just lying to me? Why? It only hurts more. I want to know how to socialise but if they lie to me i can never learn.

>>35106544

Judo and JuJitsu are NOT the same thing. Judo originally evolved from JuJitsu practioners who wanted to practice full contact without seriously injuring/killing each other on a regular basis.

JuJitsu was developed to allow a samurai to do 2 things: kill or capture

Try both Judo and JuJitsu (especially Japanese Jujitsu, fuck that BJJ sport shit) and you'll see the difference.

Source: wimp who did JuJitsu for 2 years and can beat the shit out of if you piss him off enough

why would I remotely want to make ultra basic girls feel entertained or happy? you deserve nothing but rotting in hell, makeup deprivation would be a good start because at least you would REALLY start to work on your personality

>>35098860
I have to return some video tapes.

Oregano

>>35098829
i like to call it the 'flouride stare'
its pretty common with both men and women

>>35107547
hahaha
this made me laugh, do they really call it that? Wouldnt surprise me

>>35107664
I don't know of it being used by a group of people, but it'd assume it's used somewhere. Saw the term coined on a trutherbot post a while back.

>>35098626
>tell us about yourself
There is no way I could do that without depressing the shit out of them.
Too cynical. It frustrates the normie and they get annoyed with you.

>>35098626
Well, to start off, let me tell you about what I do for a living: My name is Van, I'm an artist, I'm a performance artist. I'm hired to people to fulfill their fantasies, their deep dark fantasies. I was gonna be a movie star y'know, modeling and acting. After a hundred and two additions and small parts I decided y'know I had enough, Then I got in to Escort world. The client requests contain a lot of fetishes, so I just decided to go y'know... full Master and change my entire house into a dungeon... Dungeon Master now with a full dungeon in my house and It's going really well. Fisting is 300 bucks and usually the guy is pretty much hard on pop to get really relaxed y'know and I have this long latex glove that goes all the way up to my armpit and then I put on a surgical latex glove up to my wrist and just lube it up and it's a long process y'know to get your whole arm up there but it's an intense feeling for the other person I think for myself too, you go in places that even though it's physical with your hand but for some reason it's also more emotional it's more psychological too and we both get you know to the same place it's really strange at the same time and I find sessions like that really exhausting. I don't know I feel kinda naked because I am looking at myself for the first time, well not myself but this aspect of my life for the first time and it's been harsh... three to five years already? I never thought about it... Kinda sad I feel kinda sad right now, I don't know why

>>35104367
why? it's true. they look like goddamn surprised chickens

>>35108423
Hey buddy I think you got the wrong door, fag thread is two blocks down

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>>35098626

oreganoli origami

I had something like this happen 1 time. I remember in 8th grade this really cute girl who wore a choker every day was at the morning bus stop alone with me. She actually walked over sat right next to me and tried conversating with me. I brushed her off like a depressed coward. I regret it to this day. She was extremely good looking. She had colored hair before it became a tumblr red flag. She looked like an anime elf. It's too bad I can't go back in time and prepare for that moment. My house was empty all day 6 days a week. It's retarded that I never took advantage of that by bringing a girl over. It's too late for me now. I wish I could kill myself. I wish I could kill myself.

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>>35109567
>>35108423
kek
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY, FAGGOT ROBOT

IF YOU FAGGOTS DIDN'T KEEP COPYPASTING THREADS AND REPOSTING BULLSHIT WE WOULDN'T HAVE THIS PROBLEM

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>>35108001
Yeah I have no idea how I am expected to hide how shitty I feel. I'd like to be honest with them hoping that they'll understand why I am down and that I hope to get better. But that would make them laugh at or hate me. Plus I'm ugly. Ugliness makes it nearly impossible for people to sympathize with you.

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>>35098860
>I like to dissect girls, did you know I'm utterly insane?
8:21pm

>>35098626
Start talking about the Hemingway novel I recently finished. Tell them about man's struggle, about the only way to find meaning in life is to exist as an element of nature. That is why I am planning on spending a month in the backwoods of Yosemite alone.

>>35105911
Don't be so fucking self conscious you pussy, who gives a shit what these other autists think.

>>35105911
>>35105911
Anything japanese or asian is going to get your weird looks, since those styles were designed around the shorter, less muscular genetics of asians.

If you want to be a real man, one must learn boxing or wrestling.

>>35110661
if autists think im autistic what will normalfags think? Im not far gone enough that i no longer care about re-integrating into society and getting a gf yet.

Besides, the nice responses from the other anons in this thread reinforced my desire to at least try these things.

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>>35098860

I really need to rewatch American Psycho.

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>>35107547
You stole that from common filth
REEEEE UNORIGINAL POSTER GET OFF MY FUCKING BOARD

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>>35110796
Is Bateman a robot?

>>35098626
The last one is always a funny question for me, I never tell them the truth, they do not need to know anything about me since they do not care about me, they are annoyed because you are always quiet and never talk to them.

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What the hell are you supposed to say if they ask if you think they're good looking etc? I don't want to trigger anybody especially if they are good looking. Unless they already called me a literal retard or something.

>>35111066
You could say yes and point out something that you don't like.
I wouldn't know since I don't talk to people.
Also, why did Dexter look so fucking weird in his flashbacks.

>>35103454
she's a spoilt brat irl

>>35098947
>>35098626
same desu

this is the only honest answer

>>35098626
>that time girls came up to you and sat with you at lunch asking why you never talked and then just made fun of you the whole time while laughing and playing with their phones and you just thousand yard stared at the wall ahead of you while eating

>>35111181
>implying I didn't already know
>implying I don't want to spoil her more and give her anything she wants

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>>35105294
It is very important to hide your power level around normies , especially at work. You may find one or two non normingtons and can slowly start revealing your final form, but don't transform too quick or you may overwhelm them with your power