Im a 30yo KHV neet and want to go out tonight to get laid. Problem

say you've been in a coma for 2 years

>>35093515
>he tells people about his life

man why don't you just lie to these garbage? if you ever invited to party or something at night, just lie saying you're whatever you want
most people find it attractive or funny, they don't really care

but seriously, you are 30 khv, you made the whole way to this, why do you want to soil yourself with meaningless sex with a slut, dying a virgin isn't that bad afterall

>>35093515
>want to go out tonight
Go out where? Just say your friends are around somewhere, you got separated. That's what I do.

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>>35093543
Ive lived here for years and likely many random people have seen me here or there, so the story needs to take that into account.

>>35093571
I mostly care about not being alone. idgaf anymore that Im a virgin desu

>>35093605
>Go out where?
good question. Ive been here so long but dont know any places to go.

I know a pub that is frequented by students and I know one other place but theres a concert and it's sold out already.
I also know a "communal" pub, but Ive been there before so Im not sure how much bullshit I can sell there

>Just say your friends are around somewhere, you got separated.
I feel like thats too transparent. I'll be afraid anyone will see right through it.
The lie needs to be thick and convoluted

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>>35093571
>why don't you just lie to these garbage? if you ever invited to party or something at night, just lie saying you're whatever you want
thats kind of the plan, but I need something to work with.
I cant just wing it completely

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up to the first page with ya

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>>35093515
>The backstory needs to explain why Im there solo with no friends, obviously.
make it simple

say you were out with friend but:
-he got too drunk and went home already
-his gf called him and he went home early
-he works tomorrow and had to go home early
-you had an argument and separated

or just tell you are waiting for a friend but he's not coming, you can even pretend to call him

>>35093515
Just cast mind control on some slut. Smh nigga do you even wizard?

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>>35095891
>Just cast mind control on some slut. Smh nigga do you even wizard?
honestly this

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>>35095891
>>35096315
youre not being terribly helpful

>>35097329
I don't know what to tell you. Going alone to a bar to lose your virginity at 30 and asking for advice on here doesn't bode well. At least go with some acquaintances or some shit. Also you gave us fuck all for context. I mean, if you're 150kg then a story about you being a mercenary assassin won't fly well.

>>35097329
>youre not being terribly helpful
sorry?