Who here /usedtobesomething/? When did you start losing your

>>35091237
i remember i was very bright and had an inclination towards the sciences when i was younger ,up until maybe 13-14

but all the internet and Wanking and Countless hours of mindless gratification has made me a man who can not put his mind in order and concentrate on a task.
I used to be very ADHD as a child too,but at that age i could be fixed,now....now i feel weak when trying to battle my shitty self.
I've been NEET for about a year,Uni exam is in 3 months,havent studied a bit,cant put my head down and just read....fuck my life

And now im looking at buying Drugs off the internet....WTF AM I DOIGN

>>35091237
>>35092024
In the same position. Used to read jules verne in 4th grade, unabridged. Read all the time. Can barely read now because of all the weed I smoked. Got so frazzled from all the speed I took to study that I was just strung out for a semester. I used to make films all the time but was too hungover to ever make it to make it to my visual production class. Parents will pull my tuition at the end of the semester if I don't stop fucking up. Filled my life with mindless drunk abusive sex with people I fooled into liking me. I just want to love someone so I can be free from faking talk with stupid bitches just to get laid and feel validated. I just set up this consistent hookup up with a friend and I think they've fallen in love. She was so nice why couldnt I have just loved her back and enjoyed it but I had to fuck everything up because I couldn't just be happy, I had to have more and everything had to be perfect my way. My uncle is this neet electrician who never found anyone and is slowly dying of a number of health issues and a broken heart. I just want to love and I feel like it will never happen. I've never had a good relationship and I don't know the difference between trying to love someone and faking it just to have sex. I feel like I can only feel happiness from material gratification, drugs, or sober anger and sadness. Otherwise I'm empty most of the time.

I was going to save the world once and help people

now I just want to kick the writhing mass of shit that's called humanity down the toilet

>>35092219
ANON!
fuck,i dont know how to express this feel,but...
there is light at the end of a tunnel,life can be good,just...through time and struggle and understanding of ourselves we will one day be content and happy,if not happy atleast something similar,i belive it

>>35092024
I'm on a similar level, my man.
As a kid I was super talented and motivated. Eventually the pressure to succeed instilled a deep depression in me.
I just graduated at the end of last year but I have no motivation to get a job or achieve anything of note anymore.

>tfw once you could learn things by looking at them just once or twice
>tfw now you have to keep doing something for a 100 times before you get it.
what happened. I remember being good at everything because I had a pretty nice brain which could easily pick out patterns in everything. Why did I turn into a retarded loser.

>>35092358
>tfw used to be full of creativity, a prodigious writer and a gifted student
>now I'm a barely functioning retard who struggles to type out a single sentence

what happened? I don't even smoke that much weed, really. I don't do any harder drugs. I don't drink excessively. What the fuck even happened?

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>mfw discovering that depression literally destroys your brain on a cellular level

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHY DIDN'T ANYONE STOP THIS FROM HAPPENING TO MEEEEEEEEE FUUUUUUCK

>>35093321
Many retarded people can lead successful lives nowadays anon

>>35091237

>when did you start losing your mind

Age 17. But ever since I was very young I knew there was something very wrong. I knew the future would be bad.

>>35091237

Same as op honors degree in IT used to support fortune 500 companies, mental issues drive me to drugs, got arrested, lost basically everything, now clean and hating life, no desires at all

>>35093321

I thought it mostly atrophy's the hippocampus which is the easiest to regain. It cant be that bad anyway, otherwise more people would be freaking out about it.

>>35093345
Shouldn't have been a junkie then. Not original

i can draw good but anyone can if you put enough time into a picture but mostly i had an inflated ego and thought i was the shit now that im older i realize that im better than some but worse than most

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>>35091237

same boat as you dood
neither normie or machine
just wasted potential

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>>35091237
me tew

>>35093360
More like shoulda just shot the cops who deliberately ruin the life's of innocent people.

>>35093464
>life's
Someone's retarded

>>35093499

Live's*

Sorry.

>>35093511
Still retarded sorry

Dreamt of becoming a scientist once. Maybe go into programming and see where it would've taken me. Wanted to develop my own video game. Write a book. Produce art and music. Help the world. Find love. So much ambition gone from growing up and realizing I'm a retard. Now I'm just waiting till the day I get the balls to accept life and kill myself. Their is no salvation for me.

>>35091237
>When did you start losing your mind?
I used to be a normie. Friends, girlfriend, university, loving family, all that.

My girl and I were driving one day and were hit by a speeding car. I spent about two months in the hospital, another year or so in recovery and have memory impairment that severely handicaps my daily life.
She spend over a year in the hospital, and still lives in low-level assisted-living setups. For years I thought she was gone, that she'd never even be able to hold a conversation or anything. During those years I gave up, was extremely suicidal, stopped talking to friends and family, The severe depression was almost like a drug, I lost memory even more than usual, my thought patterns were strange and I simply didn't function or process things like a normal human.

I'm trying to get back into life, but I'm definitely not cut out for college anymore. I can't stand, for the most part, the college-educated crowd anymore anyway. Bunch of stuck-up elitist cucks, which for the record even pre-accident I was already forming that opinion. I'm generally the laughingstock of any friendsgroup.

I just want the misery to end. I want to escape to a new frontier, unfortunately the only frontiers in CURRENT YEAR are in cold fuckholes, and cold weather makes me depressed. Very depressed. As in, I should kill myself because it's so cold, depressed.

>>35091237
I was a very good student, often even the best in my class, especially in high school and university. Once I graduated, I became a pretty good programmer/designer in a team who created systems to help people and make the world a better place. After a couple of years, we couldn't get more funding, and our innovation never got much publicity even though we had a working prototype. Because of this bad financial situation, I lost my job and have been NEET for years now. I also got severe depression (self-diagnosed), lost interest in programming and can barely type a "Hello World" application in C++ now.

>>35091237
> muh genius
> muh gift from god
get the fuck out roastie nobody is special !
Reeeee

>>35093276
Entropy is increasing exponentially.