Any embarassing/ awkward sex stories? I'll be honest,

>>35081248
*I was cheating on my 6/10 gf with this 8/10 girl i really wanted to fuck
*i convinced her to go to an hotel, but my gf keep calling me at the phone
*I was so distracted by this that i could barely got an erection
*We still fucked with my semi soft dick
*She never answered my calls again
*Worst sex ever ;_;

>>35081248

me every time i go to the brothel

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>>35081984
Can you honestly tell me why you post on a virgin board?

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>>35081984
Look at him, he can't even greentext.
Fuck off back to facebook, chad. Your kind is not wanted here.

>>35081248
I went on Grindr to have a gay guy suck me off. Long story short I ended up blowing 3 guys and getting fucked in the ass by 2 it was pretty terrible xp I was to much of a beta to say no or stop and I didnt even get off none of them blew me also one guy pissed in my face and they were all old fat men in there 40s

>>35081248
I was doing my gf doggy style, which was her favorite position but definitely my least favorite because I don't want to be staring into her hairy asshole, and I pulled out for a second I'm not sure why.

I think I was bout to cum early so I pulled out for a second.

Without even looking back gf asks if I'm okay and I say yeah and just as I'm about to slide it back in her...

*PPPBLBPBLBPLBPLBPBLBPBLPLTTT*

The loudest, wettest, pussy lip-slapping queef ever.

I immediately started laughing and losing my mind as it was so unexpected and I was laughing and laughing and wasn't able to breathe and was getting a headache and was losing my boner and then my gf got totally self-conscious and mad and sent me home and didn't talk to me for a few days until I apologized for laughing at her queef.

Also my first few times having sex, missionary style and in the dark, often drunk, just never being able to find the hole. A girl's pussy is always lower than where you expect it to be. There's nothing like humping the space between the mattress and a girl's thigh and thinking you're balls-deep in her.

>>35081984
How are people taking such obvious weak bait?

>>35082136
I imagine that the people replying to him in earnest are actually just a samefag trying to get a snowball effect.

>>35081248
>17
>start talking to girl online
>she lives about 100 miles away
>has a cute face, but don't see any full body photos
>after a few weeks of chatting she says she'll blow me if i come over to her house
>drive up there a few days later
>pull up to the house and it is a mobile home in fairly bad shape
>a couple of beat up old cars and a bunch of garbage in the yard
>i am from an upper middle class suburb and feeling really out of my element
>but the possibility of a blowjob gets me out of the car and knocking on the door
>white trash mom opens the door with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth and asks who the hell i am
>"uhh.. i'm here to see anonette."
>"you? huh." yells for anonette.
>from down the hall comes anonette
>she is about 5' even and just wide as fuck.
>not like traditionally fat, but just broad shoulders, huge but flat ass and not much in the boob department
>should have just bolted at that point, but i had already driven all the way up there.
>she takes me back to her room and we start making out.
>after awhile she pulls out my dick and starts stroking it
>then her mom starts banging on the door and laughing
>clearly she knows what's up and doesn't really care but is trying to make me uncomfortable
>can't keep my dick hard with all of this crazy shit going through my head
>tell anonette i have to go to the bathroom
>leave her room and go right out to my car and drive home
>never talked to her again

>>35082202
>9 replies
>9 posters

>>35082217
her mom probably wanted some D as well.

>>35082246
>it is impossible for someone to change their IP, or to post from their phone.

>>35082018
Well, currently i'm a robot. I just had a good run once :(

Last time i had sex was with 2 hookers. Now i'm 40 and nothing to offer, and i'm fat and almost with diabetes.

Going to lose my virginity together with my gf and was very nervous and condoms suck and was having trouble getting hard so I felt really bad and started crying a lot since I was afraid she was going to hate me

Jokes on me though she loves me and I love her so strong bonds and shit got us through that and we have some top tier sex to this day
The main issue was just nervousness and condoms
Thank god for long term birth control

Only had 2 chances in my entire life.

1- girl comes to my place couldn't get a boner because I was so nervous. This is one of the worst things a man can feel. I think a friend of mine ended up fuking her and knowing about that episode.

2- It was almost 2 years ago. Go to the beach with a girl. Start making out. Go naked into the water. Futile attempt to fuck her had no idea what the hell I was doing. Some time later people come by and it was a friend of hers. And I listened they talking shit about me. Go home alone on my way home for my surprise she was fucking a guy I knew inside a car.

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>>35081248

>be me 23

>meet qt 7/10 girl on tinder

>start talking

>shes into anime and games

>has good taste too

>ask her out on a date

>go out to eat it goes well

>she wants to go to my place so we can "watch anime"

>put on some gits

>start talking not paying attention

>she puts her hand on my crotch

>starts rubbing through pants

>it feels good but sex on the first date is a red flag for me.

>was honestly on tinder to look for a gf

>it feels too good and shes qt as fuck so I can't stop her.

>she turns off gits

>continues rubbing but puts my finger in her mouth like shes sucking a dick

>immediately start making out

>she takes off her pants

>I get scared and turn on the tv again

>she then walks away from me and says don't call me.

this was the only time I have ever had any physical contact with a girl. i can never even watch ghost in the shell again without reliving that horrible day.

>>35083016
>sex on the first date is a red flag for me.
>was honestly on tinder to look for a gf
>she takes off her pants
>I get scared

WOW
YOURE OKAY ANON

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>>35083016

isn't this a blink 182 song?

not oregano at all, anun

>meet this tiny asian girl at a party
>she really, really wants my dick for some reason
>take her home at like midnight
>turns out my gf is home
>ask her to go walk to mcdonalds for a bit
>fuck this girl while she's out
>make my gf sleep in the top bunk of our bed

I've told this story before and I still feel bad about it.

>fucking fat chick in the dark while drunk
>have no idea what I'm grabbing or putting my penis into
>would sometimes make mistakes
>too tired to care
>stop bothering to support my weight and lie on her
>cum quickly and fall asleep
>this somehow didn't piss her off

>>35083631
I didn't know blink 182 was into animo.

>>35083694
Uhmm. So why did you guys have bunk beds?

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>>35081984
NORMIE CHAD REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
OFF MY BOARD

>>35083816
Honestly we though it would be good for blanket forts.

It was!

>>35083842
That pretty much explains it.

>>35083694
>tell your gf to walk out to mcdonalds at midnight
how did you manage to pull that off?

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>tfw never tried to have sex so I never got embarassed
Goddamn I love this

>>35081248
>be me
>last semester, first semester in college
>meet qt greek girl
>go out on a date with her
>finish eating dinner
>walk around campus
>all of a sudden we're sitting down on a bench in the center of campus
>its night, basically deserted
>she's leaning close to me, I move in for the kiss
>kiss her
>start making out
>this was my first date and kiss so I was pretty nervous
>go to a more secluded place to start making out
>she scratches my neck and pulls on my hair
>she's being really rough it kind of hurts but I love it
>she puts her hand up my shirt
>get really freaked out so I tell her to stop
>start making out softly
>she's losing enthusiasm
>she tells me she wants to take it slow
>get up kiss her and leave
>text her the next day
>she doesn't respond
Looking back on it I'm ok with this, she was a fucking roastie anyways

>>35082119
Your fault for pulling out in doggy, moron.

>>35083631
It sounds more like a Brand New song

>>35081248
>have been with a fellow Marine as a fuckbuddy for months
>have been trying my best to fake orgasming this whole time but netiher of us are convinced
>in addition to a whole lot of other shit irrelevant to this thread, at my breaking point
>finally need to come clean
>we're just finishing up with him spending an hour trying to fuck me and nothing is happening, and I'm done pretending
>tell the guy that I can't orgasm with him because he's not dead or decomposing
>he has been viewing me as an easy fuck and couldn't give a rat's ass about my problems
>he laughs in my face
>"are you fucking kidding me" he says
>I am already wanting to fucking shoot myself in the face but arduously try and explain
>he doesn't get it
>he can't get it
>I pull myself away and try and elaborate on all of the weird shit I've roped him into doing
>when he was tied down and immobile and I watched some horror films with the audio off
>all the times I had him lay completely still after taking an ice-cold shower or drinking far too much
>all the times I beat him and cut him up and generally abused him
>he STILL DOESN'T FUCKING GET IT

I can't even go into the details of his reaction, it's too goddamn painful

>>35083902
"I have someone coming over can you wait at mcdonalds for a bit"

>>35083941
>make one error
>whole thing is fucked

I hate this so much

>>35082102
literally kill yourself

orgienerea

Banged my mom once, that was embarrassing and awkward.

Normies GTFO NOW!!!!!

>>35084061
Doesn't make any sense. If I told my gf I was coming home with someone she would first demand to know who and why and secondly she would definitely not wait at a fucking mc.

Are you in an open relationship?

>>35084035
OMG are u the necrophilia girl

>>35084612
y-yes
wh-what about it

>>35084069
Well he told her to stop, so she stopped. That's what he gets for being an omega.

>>35084630
The one who used to make those threads?

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>>35081248
I was dating this girl and one time we decided it's time to fuck for the first time.. she didn't tell me she was a virgin and she bled when I got a few strokes in there.

crazy shit was it was on my mother's bed and she was gone a few hours away but coming back by the time we were fucking.. ALSO the condom got stuck in her pussy which was crazy.

she pissed and it fell in the toilet which was cool but I had to get ammonia to clean the mattress and wash/dry the seats ASAP and once I got done mom came like 20 minutes or so later.. it was the worst but craziest and luckiest shit in my life. never again

>>35082302
You're a failed normie mate, get out of my board reee and all that

>>35084074
Na ill stay alive for a bit more I saved enouh money to pay for a asian trap hooker that I will fuck in a few weeks so no, but I wont go on Grindr again there wasnt suppose to be thatbmany men. I was very drunk just to much of a bitch to say no I didnt want to get ass fucked

>>35084665
the very same

this probably isn't oregano

>>35084744
Wow how have u been?? I remember thinking about you once or twice ages ago hope you're doing okay buddy

>>35082102
This is gay as fuck and degenerate jesus christ faggot wtf?

>>35084856
Yes it was degenerate but I consider my self straight. I didnt enjoy any of it and I couldn't even get hard.

I wanted to have sex with this hot girl i saw but she said she wasn't interested in me, it hurt my feelings so i went home and masturbated

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>Want to have sex
>Can't
>Feel frustrated

Humiliating, isn't it

>>35084641
It was the first time I even went out with a girl desu
And she sounded like a fucking roastie, she said she was bisexual and shit like that. The only reason I even did that was to see if I could cure myself of my oneitis. Hasn't worked

>>35084793
I've been doing pretty okay man, got some exposure therapy over the last year but shit is still pretty hard. Thanks for asking broski.

>>35084883
>Browses Grindr to get a dude to blow him
>Ends up getting triple penetrated by 40 year old fags
>"Yeah i consider myself straight brah"
If you don't have the balls to say no to some creepy old fags trying to fuck your ass i have news to you, you're not very straight, any straight person would have rather be awkward after denying the fags than just go along with it

>>35083631
What's my age again is similar to this story but I don't think it includes animu

>>35082273
i don't think people are usually as desperate to samefag as you are desperate to believe they are

>>35082451
happy for you anon
i hope i too can have a loving gf someday soon

>>35082102
Die you subhuman cunt

>>35084964
Thats why I'm a robot I was to scared to say no and anxiety, all in all I was suppose to meet a trap but she had friends there and ya

>>35085508
Why all the hate?

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>>35081248
>Use grindr for the first time
>Naive, horny, talked to the guy a couple days so I thought he was normal, wasn't that much older

>Lived near a trailer park
>Crack pipes in the corner
>red flags start popping up
>Ignored it and started fucking him, only to see he had surgical tubing he was trying to hide
>Pull out and he shit all over the bed
>Try not to vomit
>Starts sucking my shit covered dick
>Left
>Gagged the entire way home
>Showered for 40 minutes

Here is my story of the first time I had sex.

>be 14, living with friends of the family
>they have a daughter that is a few months older than me, she is kind of chunky but not morbidly obese
>she is kind of a hoodrat but still cool
>we talk and hang out a lot, she playfully gives me the business, looking back maybe she was flirting who knows?
>one night we are hanging out, alone
>house to ourselves, her dad was gone for the night or some shit can't remember
>she asks me "wanna fuck?"
>I am a bit startled, I didn't think she would say that
>I-I w-well I d-don't know
>I wanted to have sex and have had a few girls throw themself at me before but you have to understand when I was younger I was dense as fuck
>like REALLY fuckin dense, to the point where I couldn't tell they were hitting on me
>"anon I think you're gay"
>that was it for me
>nah fuck that let's do this
>I take off my pants, she takes off her shorts
>I get hard and penetrate her
>fuckin her for a while, is ok but don't feel anything down there
>years later i heard that uncut cocks can last for a long time, if that's true then it would make sense in that case
>after a while start fucking the shit out of her,, like just start pounding her pussy
>this goes on for an hour at least, she said two hours or so
>after a while she is just like "stop i can't take it anymore u fuckin big dick bastard"
>i'm like wtf bitch u came and I didn't?
>well my dick is still hard so can u help me out? :^)
>she start suckin my dick, feels good man
>she isn't going very far down my shaft
>don't know if I am that big or if I have a dirty smegma dick (which would make sense because I didn't know about that shit for a long time)
>I start to push her mouth down on my dick to go balls deep nomsayin?
>she didn't like that it didn't last for very long
>after a little while she is like i'm done
>there i am with throbbing rock hard boner but she wouldn't make me cum
pisses me off still to this day desu

>>35082102
>one guy pissed in my face
You poor creature.

I accidentally burped in a girl's mouth once.

Joke's on her, we're married now

>>35082217
>>then her mom starts banging on the door and laughing
I do this when I hear my parents having sex.

>>35084035
>crazy qt will never kill you and fuck your corpse

am i still a virgin if it's after i die

If you have had sex or kissed anyone, you're a normalfag who needs to get the fuck out.

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>>35084910
originalooptyswoop

>>35085702
that's a matter of opinion
in this necro's opinion, no, if you have sex after you die, you're not still a virgin

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>a pretty girl that is in my class and I have afew mutual friends
>Its an 8:00 class and I always go get food from the dining hall first
>its always empty except for her and her friends, me, and afew other people
>She invites me to sit with her because i have a shyness that is criminally vulgar and would not want to impose or force my presence on them as I feel I always bring down the mood
>always sit with her and her friends and quietly eat my breakfast
>she always makes an effort to talk to me(i think either out of pity or out of sadism to watch me squirm )
>she always has on what appeared to me to be the most fake smile and the most nefarious giggle when we conversed(I suspected she was attempting to subtly mock me)
>end of semester finals time rolls around
>Im autistic and good at math so she tells me we should study together
>I try to avoid it so I dont seem desperate
>she insists takes my number and invites me, I am sure to seem reluctant so I do not seem desperate
>show up at her room at the agreed upon time
>she is wearing really short tight booty short/pajama things
>she starts cuddling up next to me >mfw
>eventually she is sitting in my lap wiggling around I can literally feel the heat from of her banana hole
>im in a full blown panic at this point
>she says something about me being comfy and does a 100% evil and knowing laugh, and puts on some fake smile, that triggers my insincere senses
>something is wrong here but I cant put my finger on it
>realize that she must have friends hiding in her closet that want me to make a move so they jump can laugh at me and she would say something like "haha did you really think you could hook up with me wierdo get the fuck out!" and then beat me up and dump milk on me or something
>tell her I gotta run to the bathroom
>run, literally ran, back to my dorm chainsmoke a half pack and go to bed
>never talk to her again
>she trys to act innocent after

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>>35085772
Quite possibly the best way to deal with 2 of life's greatest burdens, then.

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>couldn't get it up because i was drunk

Literally the only time i can pick up girls is while I'm trashed. Just kill me.

>>35085735
what if i have had sex twice but only because the girl offered and didn't cum and otherwise still have rampant weapons grade autism?

>>35084352
No, she's a cuck but it was our first time doing it and it was awkward and she didn't wanna be around.

>>35085938
Fuck off from here, normalfag.

>>35085775
A fucking faggot out of faggot.

>>35081248
i wonder what the context of this picture is. maybe he just couldn't get it up? maybe he tried something weird? who was taking the picture? why?

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well im a robot and my story it's real so it's obvsly not a sex story

>girl i orbitted for about 4 years chatting with me
>she got drunk and i convince her of sending me nudes
>she died but in exchage i have to send her too
>even nudes of my ass
>have to cum several times on video for her
>i cant so i use gel alcohol to fake my cum
>finally i got her pics
>she is kinda fat too and i was expecting a better body
>next morning she ask me to never talk again and erase me
>years of friendship(orbitting) to trash in one night
>cry while masturbating

>>35086040
>died

lol sorry about that, i mean she does in exchange of my pics, flashbacks of my bare ass still hunts me

>>35081248
>Joined the Air Force believing it'd fix me and force me out of my shell
>It kind of did, I am a lot more comfortable with myself now
>Got deployed to Japan and worked as a wrench monkey
>Meet cute girl
>Was my first time and she knew it after the first three seconds when I came everywhere
>"First time for you?"
Just grunted loudly and pretended I didn't hear her
>She says she'll go "slower"
>I come two more times but am still hard, she goes on her back and it was only then that we actually started fucking
>I thrust in a few times, feels good
>I can feel myself cumming
>She says "Give me that baby, give me that baby"
>I pull out because I think she is trying to get pregnant and I'm not into it
>She doesn't understand and says I need to keep going
>I for some reason get paranoid and think she has sabotaged the condom I am using
>She masturbates to get off and asks me why I am upset
>I tell her I don't want to make a mistake that young and have a child
>"What are you meaning?"
>We go back and forth for a while
>It turns out she didn't mean "Give me that baby", she meant "Give it to me baby" but her English wasn't very good
I have another story from when I was in Italy, will post soon.

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>>35082102
How can people allow this to happen to themselves!? How do you not say no!?

>>35083016
>>35083941


thnk u 4 having standards and not being a filthy degenerate

>>35085625
I'm happy for you burpy anon

I almost fucked my oneitis, literally the girl of my dreams. I was so into her and still am, was eating her out one night and she said "hey anon if you want to lose your virgnity nows your chance." I took the condom out and realized I was limp as fuck. Tried to get her to jerk me off but she was like "wtf are you doing?" So I just sat there in shame and left the room for a bit. Went back and cuddled with for the night while she was naked.

Kinda was a blessing in disguise becauae she was really drunk and would have claimed rape for sure the next morning. She was pissed that I ate her out. But now we don't talk and shes with someone else now...fucking cunt.

>>35086148
>Italy tour
>Cruised the beaches for girls with pretty much every other military fag
>Finally meet a girl who seemed to like me, kind of a butter face but an amazing tanned body
>It turns out she is co-renting a room on the beach for the weekend with her hot friend
>Realize immediately one room means no sex because the other girl isn't gonna be happy about it
>I ask her how we're gonna fuck with another person in the room
>She laughed and said "she'll be ok"
>We lay down together and start watching a movie, a little bit of foreplay back and forth
>Door comes open and in comes a model tier girl with some Chad
>They immediately start making out and undressing
>"See, I told you she wouldn't mind"
>She starts groping my penis
>I try my absolute hardest to get into it but I couldn't perform with an audience
>I basically slap my unerect penis on her nice butt ling a drum and try to get hard
>I can't and I start to get mad at myself
>Start drinking thinking that was the problem
>She knew I couldn't get hard and we wound up watching the rest of the movie with our earbuds while the other two fucked behind us
>I kept holding her leg trying to get hard but couldn't

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>>35081248
>be 17
>finally get my oneitis to fall in love with me
>two months later
>tells me to bring a condom to this after school play thing
>takes me into a room with a locking door and a couch
>we undress eachother and make out
>She grabs my dick and tells me to put the condom on
>I do
>push her down onto the couch
>kiss her lips and slowly kiss her body every few inches till I reach her pussy
>start making my way back up and getting my dick ready at the same time
>lean in really close to her face
>line up the shot
>stare deep into her eyes as I put it in
>whisper into her ear that I love her
>dick loses the diamond hard erection I was rocking
>still hard but soft enough to bend like its broken
>try to stay in
>fail
>keep trying to put it back in
>can never keep it in for more than a few thrusts
>change positions probably 20 times
>after 45 minutes she says we should probably go
>didn't even bust
>over the next few weeks she talks to me less and less
>eventually stops talking to me altogether

Summer after senior year, I met the girl who I had my first "date" with in sixth grade. Hadn't seen her since. Ended up rolling with her and her girlfriend out to the navy barracks and watching some movie. The other couple passed out and she ends up giving me the most incredible blowjob of my entire life. Couldn't even walk the next day.

She tells me later that the other couple gets off on watching. They weren't asleep and watched the whole thing.

Banged her a couple times after that but she was loose as fuck and insisted on condoms. Could barely cum. Not worth the effort.

>>35081248
>19
>20 year old girlfriend, 7/10 qt
>go camping with her, planning to have sex for the first time
>later at night we're in the tent, kissing, getting all worked up
>"wait, I want our first time to be good, but I'm afraid I'll cum too quickly"
>suggest I jerk myself off to cum so I'll last longer in my second wind
>sit there jerking off while she watches
>make big cums
>clean it up
>can't get hard again
>we end up going to sleep

Just remembering it makes me want to fucking kill myself, and it was 7 years ago

>>35083631
>I took her out
>It was a Friday night
>I wore cologne
>To get the feeling right
>We started making out
>And she took off my pants
>But then I turned on the TV
>And that's about the time she walked away from me
>Nobody likes you when you're 23

When are you calling her mom from a payphone?

>>35086965
>put in & out twice
kys

>>35082246
That means someone samefagged.
OP is counted as a poster but his post isnt counted as a reply.
It should be 10 posters and 9 replies

>>35082451
>be 16
>about to get some action with my gf
>too nervous, cant get hard
>mom walks in house, feel weird

>17th birthday, ask mom to fuck off from house cause i wanna try losing it again
>she leaves, get a semi and fuck horribly, real bad
>atleast i lost it

and that was the last time
i'm 26 now

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>>35086382
You have my pity.
t. KHHV Wizard

>>35085975
This but ferociously