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Is there anything quite as misreable as being fit and relatively

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Is there anything quite as misreable as being fit and relatively good looking and yet totally socially retarded because you basically spent the majority of your life alone? I constantly want to change things with me but I feel I can't even understand people or their rules and I don't know even know how to communicate with them
or how even to begin.
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You have to talk to people to understand them. The more time you spend around people, the easier it is to subconsciously pick up on the unspoken rules and customs. Even if you come off as an aspie, talk to people. The more you do it, the more comfortable you will become. What have you got to lose? If your truly already lonely, why would you care about the judgment of others?
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>>35062696
People are off put off by how nervous and anxious I am around them and how insecure I am.
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>>35062572

Everyone has different boundaries. My advice is don't be afraid to be who you are. So you're not well-informed on the ins and outs of socializing. Thing about it is it's naturally intuitive, you're hard wired to be with people and communicate, just like you would on the Chan's. If you have a question about anything it is perfectly acceptable to ask and it's part of the socializing process. I don't want you to feel like the black sheep just because you don't have years and years of exp. It's kind of like when you first put a dog in water and he knows how to swim automatically. Just trust yourself and don't overthink things. Sorry if this comes across as normie advice
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Yeah. Being unfit, bad looking and socially retarded.
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>>35062719
You could always try surprising them or making small talk. Walking up to people is a good way to make new friends believe it or not. It may be common theme to never talk to strangers, but you never know what stepping out of your circle might do for you.
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>>35062737
People don't expect as much from you. When they're around me I honestly feel they are disappointed with me, and I feel disappointed with myself. Most days I feel like hanging myself after attempting to socialize.
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>>35062799
It sounds to me like your fear the judgement of others. If that's the case, then try breaking out of your predictable schpiel. Last time I checked people only judge who you are after the first 10 - 50 sec of meeting someone new. Once the preconceptions are planted, it's pretty easy to break away from them.
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>>35062799
I get to know female's because I can approach them because i'm not hideous but i always fuck it up. I can be around them and be near them and when they discover what an awkward insecure aspie I am they want nothing to do with me.
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>>35062911
Learn to calm yourself around women. Think of them like a more emotional man. If you can keep calm around women, then half the battle is already won. If your a good listener and attentative, then you should be able to pick up on the rest.
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>>35063008
Thanks for your advice. I fuck up recognizing signals I guess also I commonly mistake friendliness for flirting and I commonly get buttmad when I discover I've been flirting with girls with have boyfriends when I shouldn't. It's not their fault they are normal adjusted people who form relationships with other normal well adjusted people.
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>>35062799
I do feel for you, Anon. For me, it's the reverse. I feel socially awkward because I'm ugly and unfit. Can I give you some unsolicited advice? Try exposure therapy, meditation and a podcast called Shrink for the Shy Guy, which you'll find on iTunes.

Exposure therapy is basically building a hierarchy of the things that scare you and doing them repeatedly until they no longer scare you. So a 1 might be just walking in public and making eye contact with people while a 10 might be actually starting a conversation with strangers. You do #1 on the hierarchy so many times that it no longer scares you then move on to #2.

For meditation, I'd recommend self-compassion and an app called Headspace. You have to pay for Headspace so it mightn't be your thing but self-compassion is more important anyway. A good place to start with self-compassion is with Kristin Neff at http://www.self-compassion.org. Buy the book if it's at all possible for you to do so and take it seriously. Try some self-compassion meditation, which is available for free on her website.

Finally, a guy called Dr. Aziz runs a podcast called Shrink for the Shy Guy. He's also written a couple of books which you might find helpful. Shrink for the Shy Guy is so useful for figuring out the negative thought patterns that keep you stuck and it also deals with exposure therapy.

Honesty, using these three resources has turned my life around. The only thing that holds me back is feeling insecure about my looks and my body, which I'm working on. If you're at all willing, just give this stuff a try and I wish you all the best for the future, friend.
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