What would you do if you woke up and looked like this? Keep

>>35049415
>wake up to be a fat short man

lol no thx

>>35049415
>jncut

I'd kill myaelf

>>35049415
I'd go get my penis cut.

I get to have a penis? My hand wouldn't come off that thing.

>>35049437
>My hand wouldn't come off that thing.
You can have mine if you want.

>>35049415
I'd be a little annoyed at my sudden loss of gains, but I guess I'd fix my diet and lift more to get back to where I was.

>>35049428
>>35049431
>Americans

Good goy's

>>35049415
Jerk off while looking in the mirror.

>>35049437
BE MY GF

>>35049443
Would it still be attached to you? Having my hand down your pants constantly would get annoying for you.

>>35049463
I'd manage.

>>35049463
>Would it still be attached to you?
Yes, preferably.
>Having my hand down your pants constantly would get annoying for you.
No, and I don't need to wear pants.

>>35049415

wear only leggings outside. even go to the gym with the leggings on to watch people mire my huge cock.

>>35049415
>hairy chubster
i honestly like my own body better

>tfw no unrestricted 24/7 access to a penis to study

I'd probably get a circumcision.

>>35049415
I'd go into the world with extra confidence only to realise my social skills are still fucked and so having a nice body and big dick mean nothing.

>>35049523
>>tfw no unrestricted 24/7 access to a penis to study
i volunteer

I probably wouldn't mind but I would prefer to stay in my own body.

>>35049431
Agreed. I'm not a hentai nippon milf so my repulsive, almost certainly broken forskin is a source of shame and anger

>All these robots insulting his body

I'm a woman and I find this body perfect. He's the right amount of hairy, not too skinny and not too swole, a lil bit of fat so it's not like cuddling a rock.

>>35049554
You know I'm going to study your wet dream boners and morning wood, right? You're not going to freak out? I'm legitimately curious about them.

>>35049593
i don't often get morning wood because i fap 5 times a day. but yeah that's fine.

>>35049593
Check em out, I'm curious as to the results of the examination.

>>35049593
>wet dream
pretty sure most robots jerk off way too much for that

>>35049586
Post your body. I'm curious as to the type that finds this bodytype attractive.

>>35049624
I get morning wood. I guess your test levels go up during the night and being flooded with pee does this.

>>35049415
I could look like Brad Pitt, and I'd still be in the same situation I'm in now. Looks only give you the foot in the door. Being an socially retarded puts that door in an empty building.

>>35049415
I don't know. Maybe try and fight someone. Is this you OP?

>>35049649

9/10 social retard here

You're extremely incorrect
I can say anything to anyone and they mostly take it in a positive way

>>35049661
I wish. I'm a tub of lard and have a micro penis.

>>35049631
I'm not posting pictures. But I am tall, chubby and pearshaped.

>>35049603
>>35049624
Does fapping tire out your dicks? Wet dreams seem like a nice thing to have. I'm really curious how you guys can come in your sleep?

>>35049614
Me too, I want to find out how much I can touch a wet dream boner without waking you up. Dicks are fascinating, you men are lucky.

>>35049677
Take a picture in the mirror. Don't show your face. I don't want to see your face.

>>35049415
i'd go into cut for some months cause id look like shit

I'd masturbate to see if it felt any different, then tell /r9k/ in a series of shitposts

>>35049643
I'm talking about cumming in your sleep, not morning wood.

>>35049680
>Does fapping tire out your dicks?
Not really, the head gets a little bit sore if you cum too many times, but it's never too bad for me.

>>35049437
Penises are much less fun than vaginas masturbation-wise.
That's why men had to invent anal masturbation.

>>35049690
You first desu

Anyone who thinks this guy isn't attractive either has really high standards, thinks girls have really high standards, or watches too many movies.

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>>35049677
>But I am tall, chubby and pearshaped

>>35049753
Perfect for face sitting and gentle motherly domming huh?

>>35049732
>thinks girls have really high standards

they do

>>35049796
Nu uh. I speak for all women, I just asked them, we don't have high standards.

>Just b chad

>>35049793
STAHP.
(Go on)

>>35049793
>Perfect for face sitting and gentle motherly domming huh?
Yes!

>>35049793
Absolutely. Post a pic of just your derrier for inspiration.

>>35049728
>Penises are much less fun than vaginas masturbation-wise.
I disagree, vaginas are boring and messy. Finger here, finger there, and then it's over.

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>>35049832
yeah no

rigatoni

>>35049793
I look sort of like OP, be my gfd gf

>>35049862
>>35049728
Well, the grass is always greener on the other side.

>>35049415

Get myself an Asian gf ofc.

>>35049840
Should I start lifting to become a full Amazonian or stay plush and soft?

>>35049862
>messy
You know how many things I've had to clean jizz off of? Also, having to aim your cum is annoying, ruins the moment.

>>35049902
A little lifting. Firm but soft in the right places.

>>35049415
>rent hotel room
>download grindr
>offer my musclepussi to take any loads
>get naked an blinfold myself
>get on bed with musclepussi raised
>let anyone who wants to come by fuck it and cum inside of me
>hold every load inside until musclepussy is leaking
>repeat until I die

>>35049906
>aiming

I just lie on my back and have the load shoot on my stomach.

>>35049880
Anonnie I made you some cookies for being such a good boy last night~

One only or I'll have to spank you!!!

I'll let you have a second cookie if you snuggle mommies pussy with your tongue.

>>35049902
Go full Amazonian, I welcome death by snu-snu.

>>35049902

Lift, amazonian is best gf. how tall are you?

>>35049933
Yeah that's what I do must of the time, but it's not always an option.

>>35049902
I'd want you to keep your big squishy butt, but do whatever feels right.

>>35049906
At least it has a direction, pussy juice goes everywhere. I have to take a shower to get rid of it.

>>35049956
5'9. That's tall for a girl here, the average man is 5'8

>>35049586
>not too skinny and not too swole
>a lil bit of fat
he is fat as fuck

>>35049950
>cookies and mommy's pussy
Sounds like a good deal desu

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>>35050024
>no gf to help clean up the pussy juice after she fingers herself

>>35050024
>I have to take a shower to get rid of it
use my mouth

>>35050033

Thats not really amazon though, to be amazon you'd need to be 6"+ at least. Your height is still very good though, i would still fug you.

>>35050067
>i would still fug you.
Annonie, mommy would be the one fugging you.

>>35050048

Hungry skellington detected. Cant you see his adonis belt? The guy is fit as fuck.

>>35049415
how much overlap do you think there is between fit and r9k?

>>35049906
>anon, my son
>you're a man now
>you must choose how finish your jerk-off
>cum into the designated fap-sock
>or aim your jizz at wherever it seems convenient and hope to wash it off later
>*present day*
>anon, why is your carpet so crusty? and your curtains, too?

>>35050081
Would you do butt stuff to me if I am bad?

>>35050050
Ooh you can have all the cookies you want if you lick my ass.

>>35050081

How exactly?

oreganal

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>>35050024
BTW, is squirting real? Or is it a porn myth?

>>35050050
Do you want some milk with those cookies? Fresh from my tit, nice and warm.

>>35050059
You're not going to help with making the pussy juice, just cleaning it up? Oh...

>>35050088
>feeling a dry sock touching the head of my dick

no thanks

>>35050095
I'd bake you cookies for that desu, I really want to

>>35050114

Its just piss my nigga

>>35050091
>That wasn't mommy
BITCH you better get away from my boys or I'll choke you out.

Ahem.. anyway, mommy might bully your asshole with her 8inch strapon if you are extra bad.

>>35049415
Probably turn on the pc and play some dope games, man.

>>35050114
I don't squirt, but I'm fairly certain it's pee. I just make a lot of slick.

>>35050128
how old are you? better not be a <21yo mommy this

>>35050116
Both, but I really like to watch girls play with themselves.

tfw you realize you're more thab likely talking to a dude but don't care

>>35050095
>lick my ass
ERPer detected, no actual women enjoy that.

>>35050145
My mom loves it.

>>35050117
Good for you, I can't even finish without this feeling after all these years. The next thing I know I'll be jerking off with sandpaper like that guy from The Human Centipede 2.

>>35050116
>You're not going to help with making the pussy juice, just cleaning it up? Oh...
is this hinting at cucking or is that just my wishful thinking

>>35050145
Ahaha I actually do, and I love playing with a cute boys butt. And I'm not a female (male) either. C:

>>35050174
>Ahaha I actually do, and I love playing with a cute boys butt.
Please be my mommy gf you are perfect

>>35050143
I'm a bit of an exhibitionist, I can work with a watcher.

Anon, if I had a dick and a prostate, I wouldn't be shitposting here, believe me.

>>35049415
I'd be disappointed. He's flabby and stubby compared to me.

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>>35050116

>Do you want some milk with those cookies? Fresh from my tit, nice and warm.

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How do I get a mommy gf who will peg me and let me lick her butt?

>>35049906
>>35050088
True fap-patricians put the head of their dick under the stream of warm water while cumming. It is godlike. And no clean-up needed afterwards.

>>35050173
I like cucking but everyone else on this board seems to hate it.

>>35050209
Are you sure your mommy is going to let you drink from another woman's tit though? I don't want her barging down my door.

>>35050196
>>35050228
By giving mommy your contact information.

>>35050083
are you retarded or something? he has big fat gut and the guy himself acknowledges it

>adonis belt
he is years from having adonis belt, fuck, you can see his love handles flowing out of his underwear

>>35050287
I like it too.
>>35050290
>By giving mommy your contact information.
Skype: [email protected]

>>35050287

I have no idea who is who anymore in this conversation. There is at least one guy roleplaying here but im not sure who it is. I just want to suck on some tits, thats all.

>>35050290
Throwaway [email protected]

>>35050290

[email protected]

mail me your skype

>>35050331
>>35050394
>>35050428
GOT'EM
hahahah get baited nerds

>>35050436
From one master b8er to another master b8er, ya done a good job. Really got those betas wound up into a mommy tizzy

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>>35050322
Same guy btw

>>35050388
I do actually need someone to drink my tit milk, if you're willing.

I have the same physique, down to the same amount of body hair. Wouldn't change a thing.

>>35050467
UNF PERFECTION.

Be glad I live in such a nice house in the USA - problem solved!

>>35050467
and? he's got pump but he is still as fat

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>>35050531
This isn't even good bait

>>35050436
Lul this isn't mommy.

>Actually a dom womwn looking for subs

Also can I not be mommy if I'm 22 and still a virgin?

>>35050564
Please add me on skype then, I posted mine
And yes you can of course

>>35050467
>>35050467
>that bulge

Barely cutting 5" how could he ever hope to please a woman vaginally?

>>35050467
W-Who is he?

>>35050581
You realize when you work out the blood flows elsewhere right. I couldn't get hard when lifting if I focused on a big thick ass and had porno all around me.

>>35050572
Oh I sent an invite, guess it was the wrong one.

>>35050601

> t. low-test dicklet

>>35050619
>guess it was the wrong one.
Yeah I didn't get anything

>>35050469

I would definitely do it but you why do you "need" it?

Is that supposed to be attractive OP? I already look like this and consider myself ugly. It's a generic builtfat body.

>>35050564

Just mail me and we'll see

>>35050681
Let's see your pic desu

>>35050694
I'm not posting my hairy belly for everyone to make fun of.

>>35050619
I didn't get an add but you can just email me too instead, same address, [email protected]

>>35050767
You're probably just fat without any built

>>35050786
See? I didn't even post a pic and you're making fun of my body.

I know how this game works, troll.

>>35049415
Show my sister what she's missing ;)...

>>35050829
You're comparing yourself to the physique in the op without any proof

>>35049428
>>35049431
one or the other, quite originally

>>35049649

Absolutely correct.

I look good, educated, tall...etc and I'm hopeless with women.

>>35050858
He doesn't have to post proof OP pic is a fat fuck

>>35050619

Are you still here?

origin content

>>35049869
>Men and women have different sexual calculi

It's almost like a woman runs the risk of ruining her life whenever she has sex...or something like that. But no, I'm sure that it's actually because they're nothing but dumb, vacuous, rostie whores.

>>35051577

>vacuous

tips roast flaps

>>35051577
And this translates to considering 90% of the male population ugly how?

>>35051577
>It's almost like a woman runs the risk of ruining her life whenever she has sex
women: maybe die of aids, maybe need an abortion
men: maybe die of aids, maybe pay child support for 18 years

>>35051702
>ugly
It says attractive, it's use is in a broader context more than just physical looks. Again this makes sense when you think that whenever a woman engages in sex she runs the risk of becoming pregnant.

>>35051763
Woman:
>Has sex
>Gets pregnant
>Lumbered with a child for the next 18 years

Man:
>Has sex
>Runs away

Face it, women have more to risk when fucking.

>>35049649
>>35049667
t. unattractive people deluding themselves

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>>35049437
ill trade you a dick for your vag ;~;

>>35049415
I did look like this and I took hormones.
Now im a chubby girlboy version of this.
Fucking shoulders kill me.

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>>35051839
if you didnt start before 18 you're a man
sorry senpai
you can still be cute girlyman tho

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>>35049428
>>35049431
Fucking Jews and their sand niggerian ancient penis rules fuck you

>>35049415
I look like this. The problem i'm 166 cm 80 kg so it's not life changing. I have so much time as a neet that lifting is just there to remind me about taking shower every 2days.

I wouldn't be cute anymore, my tall thick gf would probably leave me for another twink

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>>35051839

>there are trannies out there who look like buff muscular men

>>35049415
Jerk off on my face.

Then make a profile on gay hookup sites and get my dick sucked all day long.

>>35049415
Test out my maxes

>tfw no cuckqueen GF

>>35054225
That's 90% of them nigga