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>in line at Starbucks
>cutie standing behind me. Blonde. Long hair. Slim figure. Gorgeous. in business attire.
>guy in front of me orders some crazy complicated order that has the barista drooling with confusion
>turn to cutie and say "how long do you think it took this dude to perfect the worst cup of coffee ever?"
>cutie giggles
>say my name is anon
>she says her name is Cassandra
>we shake hands
>"you know, I'm around here almost every morning at 830. How about we have coffee together sometime?"
>she giggles shyly again and agrees. I pay for my coffee and hers without letting her know.
>I'm in my car when she discovers I payed for her
>she blushes and waves to me from outside the shop as I pull away
>never come back to that Starbucks again, change my name, get a haircut, move a town over, buy a new car despite being under crippling debt so she can't recognize it
Who here /DEVILISH/?
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>>35021634
damn, how will Cassandra ever recover?
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>>35021634
>Implying he leaves his basement
Top kek Anon
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>>35021634
10/10 GOAT post anon. Thank you so fucking much for returning mischief posting to its former glory, at least for a brief moment in time.
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>pay for her coffee
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>>35021634
>buy a new car despite being under crippling debt so she can't recognize it
well done
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>>35021634
Dat ending. Perfect anon. You can die now. Your spirit can finally be free from this place of suffering and pain. Be free.
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Just happened recently
>in new house I'm renting
>moving all my shit in smugly thinking about Cassandra
>multiple neighbors come up to me welcoming me to the neighborhood with baked goods
>say they're a really tight knit neighborhood and would love to have me over for dinner sometime
>"i would love to. As a matter of fact, how about you all join me tomorrow night? I'd love to cook for you and I need some sort of housewarming!"
>everyone nods and agrees. Marcy is bringing the wine.
>everyone leaves
>young guy dan offers to help me with the rest of the stuff I need to move
>"oh, thank you but I really need the exercise. Besides, you gotta get back with your lovely wife!"
>I nudge dan's arm
>"I saw the way she was looking at you. I suspect you're going to be the luckiest guy on the block in the next 20 minutes"
>dan grins.
>"you know anon, you're not bad. I think we're gonna be pals. Thanks for the heads up"
>wave goodbye as he shuts his door across the street
>frantically toss the rest of my belongings in the house, disable my doorbell, put up the curtains and draw them shut, replace the lock on the door (I know the neighbors would have spares), leave the house at 3 am to hammer a "for sale" sign into my lawn, park my car at "joes auto shop" down the way with a cover on it, begin saving my own shit so I can farm inside my home ala 'the martian' so I never have to leave.
I wish I could have seen the look on those slimy normy shit faces. Holy fuck I feel /D E V I L I S H/
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>>35022294
Top Kek my fucking sides stop anon I can't handle it. Literally crying from laughter
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bump . because kek
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>>35022294
HOW DO THE BANKERS LET YOU GET AWAY WITH THIS DEVILRY
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when i type lol it usually means " i guess thats kinda funny" and dont really ever think about it again but this actually made me smile
ill remeber this
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>>35021634
Kek. Holy shit OP I love you and damn this was gold
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>>35022294
funny at first, although you seem to be quite literally ruining your life in the long run to fuck with a few people just once. although please continue, please ruin any chance of not getting arrest because of tax evasion or some shit.
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Similar experience
>just graduated high school growing up in a small town
>everyone knows everyone
>seeing my girlfriend for the past 6 years
>she's always known I want something more than the small town life
>we start drinking together one night and she begs me not to go
>we both start crying
>realize I've been such an idiot. Friends and family are more important than chasing a dream.
>promise her I'll stay
>more weeping and tears
>"thank you anon, I don't know what I would have done without you. I'm so happy for once in my life"
>hold her close and whisper sweet nothings into her ear. I fight tears of joy.
>I take her home and walk her to the front porch
>"goodnight anon" she says just before we kiss passionately
>I linger until she shuts the door
>I breathe a huge sigh, content that I've finally realized what I'm doing with my life.
>calmly walk back and open the trunk of my car
>all my shit is already packed
>leave, cut ties with girlfriend, cut ties with family, don't tell anyone I had bought and payed for an apartment about a month ago, burn all memorabilia of my past life, teach myself a new dialect so I don't sound like a small town hick, try to "normalize" myself by assimiliating into a new environment and routine
>get coffee at the Starbucks down the street every morning at 830
I chose the life of mischief
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>>35021634
Mavericks like you need to be locked the fuck up.
You're a menace to civilized society.
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>>35023943
don't worry it's come to bite him in the ass, waiting for the greentext when the bank comes to take foreclosure on the house and they find a rabid trash monster Screeching at they to leave his castle or some faggot shit. This is literally the definition of Schadenfreude
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>>35024009
>implying the story was remotely true
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>>35024199
if the want to swing their dicks around acting like big shit then I'd say it has to be for them to so /DEVILISH/
Thread posts: 19
Thread images: 12
Thread images: 12