Yo, guys. Just wanted to say some things that have been rounding

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>>34972240
My roommate is also my friend, its not like i dont know him.
Also this is my cat

Hey anon. I think I have repressed anger too. As for whats going on in your head, I think you love the feeling of power knowing that you have probably none over people in the real world. Have you ever been hurt before? Have your feelings stomped on?

>>34972240
Please stop abusing your cat op, he has ultimate trust and love for you to return every time even after you hurt him, you're doing the worst kind of betrayal.
Also your roommate will eventually catch you fucking with their dog one day, they'll more than likely kick you out man

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>>34972319
Yeah, i was pretty sensitive actually. Im talking about when i was 14 or 15 tho. I loved that girl, she hurt my feelings and stuff, but that made me grow as a person, i believe. I dont really think i have this feeling of power over anyone or anything, i actually think im just a piece of trash that no one should ever care about. Even though, i'd truly LOVE to be able to kill people without consequences. This is kind of irresponsible, but i would make sure to kill unfair people; people who abuse others without a reason. I would be like the Karma itself, but under my own perspective of things.
Thats why i dont think im a psychopath. I wouldnt kill for the pleasure of it.

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>>34972330
I would like to stop, honestly. I dont think im hurting the cat tho. I just stop his breathing for a moment. Well that sounds a bit fucked up, and is probably hurting his mind. I guess i'll try to stop.
Anyway, i can't and dont want to stop hitting the dog. He deserves death, and everyday i just hope he eats some kind of shit that kills him slowly. Its more like my roommate's fault, because he doesnt really take care of him as he should, but i cant do anything but blame the dog.
I guess im shit as i said.

(pic related was before all this happened, he's not being hurt in any way here. i just think his face is funny)

>>34972240
>but being depressed AND worry about money is unbearable.
>worry about money is unbearable
No, keeping your mind idle is unbearable.

>>34972510
But if you have nothing in your mind, you can try to think of something you might like! I'm suicidal as fuck, but I've studied 2 years of psychology and, being aware of my depression and what causes it, its easier to overcome. Kind of.This makes me keep some positive feelings along with wanting to kill myself every night.

>>34972481
Remember your pets love you far more than any person ever can. I think you do have some repressed anger issues though, it's just a dumb dog being dumb and annoying, you can just shoo him away

>>34972561
It does. I consider myself a reasonable person, so I take all advice that comes to me and think of it carefully.
I quit airsoft this summer, it was expensive and people here make me want to end their lives so badly. They're the kind of people that think they're better than anyone and think they have absolute truth. That didnt help, of course.
I'm trying not to harm the cat, really, but i'm worried about it. Like, i've always been able to control everything about me: anger, sadness, etc. How come i can't stop doing something i dont really want to do?

>>34972587
Yeah, i could shoo him away, but imagine having a big piece of cake and a small one. You could take the small one, but i'd take both.

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>>34972735
I myself was the one who studied psychology, and i quit because of that. Drugs, lies and making people think you saved them.
I'm pretty sure it's a mental problem, but i definitely wont go to a psychologist.
I dont have any close family i could discuss this with. They love me and stuff but i dont feel the same way towards them. At least not as much as i think i should. The only thing that prevents me to kill myself is how my mother would feel. She gave my sister and me this life and i shouldn't complain about it.
I have a close friend tho, he's the only one I talk about this things with. H'e's aware of the cat thing and more things that i think about, and he helps with my own feelings, but we dont get to a solution. He just makes me feel better about myself and things like that. He recommended me to go to a psychologist, but we already talked about that before.

This is my fucking favourite pic of my cat. He's using his lazer sight on a chair that is on a chair that is on a couch.

>>34972836
Why don't you move back home with your cat for a break OP? Won't have to worry about money as much

>>34973015
I'm doing a 2 year 3D degree and my father lives 125km away from me. I'm living here cause i paid for that degree and I force myself not to waste it. Actually, my father paid it, and its like 3.5k per year. I hate myself for making my father pay that amount of money and paying my rent for something i dont really love studying.

>>34972240
Normally I'd sympathize with you, but I have no respect for people who are cruel to animals. It sounds like you deserve everything you're going through. Leave the defenseless animals alone you trash

>>34973144
Uhm, but i do that BECAUSE of those things im going through. I mean, how can something i did after that, make me deserve those things?

>>34973061
op you should probably talk to your father and see how he feels about you being unhappy at the moment. Have you finished one year already. Would he want you to continue studying, isn't it more of a waste if you don't care for it? Unless you're close to getting the degree though. Ask him

>>34973186
That wont change, i'll finish that degree. Its only 1 more year left, its not big deal. Things I do there are nice and the results are pretty motivational, but I dont think i'll make a living out of it. I dont know what to do after that, i guess i'll try to find a job or something, but that's a difficult thing in this shitty country im from.

>>34973185
>I am hurting, therefore I must make the things around me hurt too

What the shit kind of thought process is that?

If you're the kind of person who would do that in the first place then I stand by what I said, you deserve the shit you're in.

>tfw no small animal to hurt

>>34973185
And believe me OP I have as many screws loose as you do but if you think for one second that it's okay to hurt another innocent being, whether that's a dog, cat, child, or anyone else then you're just another example of what is wrong with the human race.

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>>34973299
delet this rihgt now

>>34972240
You're nothing but a pile of human garbage, kill yourself, worthless scum.

>>34973287
Im not hurting them cause im being hurt, i said i didnt want to do it, but i enjoy seeing them suffer and thats what i want to look into, to see what the fuck is wrong with me. I dont want him to suffer, and i hate myself for doing that, too. I, whose main goal in life would be make the world a more fair place, is doing things like that.
I just dont know how i am anymore. Everytime i do some of those personality tests i get a different result, depending on my situation. Every month it changes, and i dont know if im doing something wrong with that.
Trust me, guys, i dont want you to think im an animal abuser. You've probably thinking i hit him hard and that his life is nothing but pain, but it is not. He loves me and i love him, i just have these impulsive bursts or anger that i try to control.

>tl;dr
I fucking want to kill my roommate's dog and hurt people some times without any reason at all. What could it be that is fucking me up?

Maybe that clarifies something

>>34973455
maybe you want to communicate your pain to your cat, in a way. You like that you can see your own pain in his eyes.

>>34973674
Thats deep and makes me sad as fuck

>>34973700
I did something similar to my cat, when I was young, and I regret it so much.
You're in pain, you are alone with it, you are suffering. that's why you did that. You're alone.