> You need to write a good cover letter anon i'M NOT

>>34958335
>can't write a letter

Are you retarded?

>>34958335
Applying for jobs is such bullshit. Its not even that I can't do it, its just so false and cringeworthy.

>"Why do you want this job anon?"

Why do you fucking think? Why does anyone want a job?

>"Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"
Dead hopefully

>>34958335
I quit my job yesterday, dreading doing all this shit again. Fuck.

>>34958433
>Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Part of a 4chan death squad hunting down bankers
>I'm sorry anon Global Corp doesn't think you've promoted yourself effectively today

Man I can't count hox many interviews I got only thanks to my cover letters.

Its like online dating, really.

99% of the people are so lazy and uninspired, all they do is copy and paste, thinking that will lead them somewhere. Then, managers are so bored reading the same plain shit over and over that they get a hardon when someone actually tries to be original.

Thanks to you all, average people. Really.

>>34958475
I'd rather hunt down commies desu. Maybe they'd find that endearing?

>>34958335
1. Contact info for you
2. Contact info of prospective employer
3. Intro paragraph explaining who and why
4. Body paragraph of your strongest skills/experiences
5. Polite conclusion paragraph

>>34958475
"Dear Mr. Anon,

We at McDonalds believe in very high professional standards, enthusiasm and the ability to work as part of a team. This year, there was very tough competition for the position of 'Burger Flipper'. Unfortunately, you just didn't quite make the cut. We encourage you to apply again when a position is avaliable."

Yours Sincerely,
Goldstein McShekelsburg

>>34958491
How do you be original and acceptable?

File: 1466738477444.jpg (121KB, 747x767px) Image search: [Google]

121KB, 747x767px

>>34958335
>needing a cover letter to get a job at burger king

50 years ago
>walk into any workplace of your choice
>don't need any education or experience
>get hired immediately

Today
>must have at least a master's degree
>50 years of experience required
>must be fluent in at least 10 languages
>must have at least 7/10 looks
>wear clothes worth a minimum of $1000
>writing a fucking novel is required in order to just gain their interest
>must have top tier social skills to pass the interview
>must pass several background checks (e.g. online activity)
>must support degeneracy and the genocide of the white race

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>34958552
>>must support degeneracy and the genocide of the white race
go fuck yourself stupid /pol/ nigger

>>34958552
Move to India or China, you'll fit right in.

>>34958522
Is this for a real job or some mcdonalds shit?

>>34958634
Neither, I just want to know how you succeeded

Should I tell a prospective employer that I have smelly feet? Because I'm sat here and I'm starting to notice that my feet smell. I'm also quite high so it might be nothing. Should I tell them I'm high?

>>34958642
> Be formal with a twist. Don't be afraid to experiment. Last cover letter that got me an interview was basically me talking directly to the companu as if it was a person.
> Adding just a little bit or pretentiousness makes you pass as a self confident
> Talk about the industry. Not in a "You're famous for this and I like how you guys do this or that" way, but more like "I know the issue nowadays is about this, and I think it can be solved with that" Prove them that you know your shit and want in to make things better
> Make them feel special. Again, forget the traditional "You're the leader in blahblah" and be more subtle with shit like "You did this and it was smart because..."

I could give you some exemples, but I'm not English.

>>34958552
this is a sign of the death of society so just grab a hold of something and hang on for the final ride

>>34958433
>"Why do you want this job anon?"
Well you know ever since I was a kid I've always dreamed of increasing the profits of McJobCorp. That's why for the last 10 years I've been taking up tens of thousands in education debt and working at unpaid internships to be the perfect human capital for your shareholders to exploit. I look forward to forcing social politeness with my annoying incompetent coworkers and faking enthusiasm for all of my boss's retarded ideas. My asshole is lubed up and ready to go, sir.

>got my job because I knew the interviewer and she wanted me to get it
>but two other people were sitting in on the interview so I had to pantomime a """real""" interview by being completely phony even though she knew it was bullshit
It was so fucking weird

Some here in this thread make it seem so easy, I'm not a fucking author, how am I supposed to write a whole fucking page about issues needing to be solved and how and why, for just a retail position WTF?

The worst part about work is pretending to care about it. Its all just a fucking ludicrous pantomine.

>Get called in to talk about my 'attitude' by cuck boss.
>"You need to smile more and be more approachable."

Why should I be happy working in a dead-end job and what's more why should I have to pretend if its in a fucking office anyway? I do my job, I get results - anything else can fuck off.

>>34959269
I'm also getting tired with how companies are still persisiting with the 9-5 attitude. There is nothing in my job I can't do at home. Why do I have to wear some bullshit monkey suit to come in and do a job nobody cares about anyway?

>>34958552
After the WW2 the eternal Jew gained from time to time more Power and this is how he tried to get his revenge, he destroys the white race!

>>34958335
cover letters are easy as shit dude what the fuck?

>its another anons are too fucking dumb to compete for jobs they somehow think are beneath them, and will definitely never create their own jobs either episode.

File: okayguy.jpg (18KB, 281x236px) Image search: [Google]

18KB, 281x236px

Just saw an add for dishwasher that required 3 years experience.

>>34959566
Bad cover letters are easy as shit, what about writing a good one.

>>34958335
Setting yourself apart is easy.

>be in a culture where looks are everything and a picture says a thousand words but it's unacceptable to put pictures on resumes

>know that employers are going to search your social media anyway

>Create a LinkedIn. Get a professional headshot taken with a sports coat and tie. Use it as profile pic on LinkedIn.

>post that you're "social media savvy" and include a link to your linkedin account right at the bottom of your resume to make the hiring manager's job easier

>employer searches, sees that you're a presentable white male who will bring value to the organization

>get call for interview

>>34958335
There's so many books out there that provide good samples you dumb fuck

>implying companies even read cover letters
All they care about is filling quotas and then the number of years of experience in that order