Hey robbuts, does anyone know this feel >be a happy lad that

>>34937757
I suffer from intrusive thoughts. But that's the thing. I suffer from them. They're not pleasurable for me.

However, I also believe I'm a sadist of some kind. I often have impulses to harm others. Seems like it'd offer some sort of release.

I feel ashamed about it. I don't want to hurt anybody. I used to be really empathetic, but I feel more like an unstable, emotionless psychopath these days.

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>>34937804
Just act normal and you'll be more or less so.

Still, imagining german planes bombing cities or subhumans being burned alive really pleasures my johnnies.

>>34937757
>Intrusive violent thoughts
Welcome to your early 20s.

>>34937869
Well, what happens in your late 20's? Early 30's?

>>34937905
Same thing that happens now. You think back on all the cringy shit you did ten years ago and promise yourself that you'll commit to affirmative steps toward positive change. From the perspective of yourself at 30, you at 20 seems as immature as you at 10 from the perspective of yourself at 20.

>>34938002
Is life simply a non-stop cringefest? Because damn it I've committed to not giving a fuck about what people think and it's brought wonders to my social life.

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>>34938037
Life is a cringefest only when you care about your ego more than you should, anon.

>>34938037
Read >>34938113
Just stop giving a shit.

>>34938113
Realest g on r9k

>>34937869
Hits the nail on its head.

Only difference to OP was I completely overreacted to my intrusive thoughts that I thought I was going crazy and had panic attacks over the imagined prospect.

Obsessive compulsive thinking didn't stop for me though. At best it's latent and doesn't shackle me, but at its worst I can obsess over something to the point of sweating and mental paralysis.

Enjoy the wild ride that is life.

>>34940531
Externally I'm a Chad and always get compliments on my confidence, which further just alienates me because inside I am desperately lonely and feel like I have no idea who I am or how I can act to relieve myself of this internal misery.

>>34940556
At least you know you're not alone.

>>34940556
While I'm at it, I just want a girlfriend who I can love and who will love me back.

I have a rough, dark and mysterious look. Attracting girls has never been an issue to me. The problem is when I bed them, and this is symbolic, they may put their hand on their backs as for me to pin them down and fuck them hard. I love fucking hard, intense fucking is literally how I express love.

But there is this other side of me that wants something commitment; to be respectful and respected, to grow with another person, to elevate and to be elevated.

It feels as if I am cursed. Where some men want fucking and are generally regarded as nice guys, so they don't get it; I'm the opposite. I get fucking but not that which nice guys (eventually) get, and I long so much for it.

i get the urge to kill people and hurt myself too
like ill see the glowing element on my stove and get the urge to just fry my hand on it or lick it, ive also been considering stealing one of the neighbor's cats and killing it in my bathtub with a knife or setting the car of somebody who looked at me funny on fire

I feel exactly the same, something about "normies", excuse the meme word, just the general population which I hate.
I used to go egg people's houses I didnt like, and eventually it turned to bricking windows but that didn't last long.
everyone was talking about it and I was so paranoid that I'd get caught so I stopped.
then I started keying cars until the same thing happened and I still didnt get caught.
if I ever do something stupid again ill probably get caught, so im trying hard not to.

>>34937757
its no biggie my man. I constantly have these thoughts. Sometimes when im walking home late at night and i see someone walking as well i have this overwhelming urge to knock them out and beat them to death just for pleasure. It comes and goes, i often imagine beating people to death.

Anyone with sexual intrusive thoughts? Old lady on the bus; I want to fuck her mouth. Retarded kid in a wheelchair; anal sex.