>coworker tries to friendly banter with me by saying something

>>34921119
when talking to normalfags the best thing to do is to not overthink it and give generic responses.

>>34922059
How do I respond to sarcasm without sounding like a sperg though?

>>34922127
With an equal level of sarcasm.

>>34922152
That's what I did! They just thought I was stupid

>>34922127
Start quoting Shakespeare. Always works for me

The trick is to just learn enough cliches that you can deploy in all scenarios. Instead of being the autistic boring guy, you can be the quirky autistic guy. For example, someone will say a joke and I'll say "classic joke that one". They'll tell a story and I'll say "absolutely classic story that" if they try to banter I'll just say "no bully please". Also helps if you act clumsy on purpose, takes the edge off. People will think " oh you, what a cluts"

>>34922171
Pretending not to get a joke is a scenario that is likely to backfire. Just don't do that again.
>>34922191
This sounds super autistic. It's probably bait.

>>34922648
>Also helps if you act clumsy on purpose
Please don't do this.

>>34922708
I know it sounds stupid but I have an intimidating face. I don't do a full on fall or anything or bump into things but I just act in a certain way to seem less intense.

File: 1486421430925.jpg (240KB, 607x780px) Image search: [Google]

240KB, 607x780px

>>34921119
>coworker tells me story about how she rejected some guy who tried to break out of the friendzone

is she trying to warn me not to try shit?

>>34922683
What should I have said?

This was the conversation

>"Hey Stacy, can I borrow a pen?"
>"Y'know Anon, how DARE you ask for one of MY pens."
>"Oh jeez oh no haha I'm so sorry" super exaggerated and cartoony
>"Oh my god Anon c'mon hahaha I was just messing with you!", gives me a look like I'm special needs

>>34923008
Sounds like she's the sperg if that's the case.

Though this is /r9k/ so I doubt that's how it went down.
In future try to continue the joke rather than let it end, because she was clearly going to give you the pen.

>"Y'know Anon, how DARE you ask for one of MY pens."
>"I implore you stacy, find it in your heart to lend me your pen!"

or something super gay like that. For that stuff to work, you have to fully commit and not feel embarrassed by what you're saying though, otherwise it comes off as faggot AND low confidence.

be careful of people, it might of just been the girl. a girl pretended to be a friend at work. the girl told me like her husband got into a fight, sure i'll give you a ride home. she just used me, told everyone our conversations. her face was great when she quit before me and asked me you're probably wondering where i was. nope not at all.

>>34923008
She was testing to see if you were an alpha male. Chad would have snatched the pen from her hands and let her know who is number one. But because you didn't do that she knows you're a beta orbiter and will never have sex with you.

>>34923077
Holy shit your advice would not work. You just gotta get your lawyer down so Stacy trusts you'll give her pen back. Most women won't take a risk like that without a legal contract.