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When will it finally end?
7 years, almost 8 and no end in sight.
I've tried everything. I've tried analyzing it from a purely rational perspective. I've tried giving in to my emotions. I have read countless books and tried countless techniques. I become more active, more outgoing even. I've tried restructuring my thoughts to be more positive. I have even achieved things in hope something might spark deep inside of me and get me going. I've dreamed of the future and thought of the past. I've studied psychology and analyzed and scrutinized my behavior in insane detail. I've ever tried doing nothing and relaxing and giving myself time.
No matter what I do I feel empty. My only desire is to have desire. All I ever feel is emptiness and anger. I can't remember the last time I have felt anything else. I just want to be free. I've never stopped fighting and I've dedicated all my energy to the struggle, but it never bore any fruit. Why was I born if I can't find any enjoyment in this world?
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>>34908967
Learn to love your pain. It's what makes you yourself. Embrace it and you will find a way. Happyness is overrated
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>>34909055
I'm fairly simple. All I want out of life is enjoyment out of learning things and acquiring interesting and fun skill sets. I want to learn and master a craft. That's what filled me with enjoyment in the past, but all enjoyment just vanished out of my life leaving me with nothing but a frustrating cycle of attempting, feeling dissatisfied and attempting again.
It's a never-ending struggle that doesn't reward me in any way shape or form, in fact it punishes me for trying in the first place. If I give up I'll be a loser forever, and everything will go to shit. I don't want that to happen.
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>>34908967
Fuck, I'm running up on 6 years and I feel exactly the same. I'm an aimless ghoul wandering this plane.
>No matter what I do I feel empty. My only desire is to have desire. All I ever feel is emptiness and anger.
Precisely that. I don't feel like killing myself, but I don't feel like going on either. Nothing helps relieve that feeling except distraction. My life so far is made of distraction, it's the only thing that keeps me alive.
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>>34908967
>>34909152
I've felt the exact same for years, I don't even remember a time when I didn't feel like this, but I've never been able to accurately put it into words like OP did.
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>>34909152
Iktf.
As Blaise Pascal said "a king with no entertainments is a king full of misery"
Life is gay. I am just carrying on breathing.
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>>34908967
i love you berserk bro
i know everything can seem fucking hopeless but i promise, as cliche as it sounds, things will get better
buy yourself a white board and put your daily tasks on there, and check them off when you're done
i promise you it will help
find what you love and figure out how to live for it
good luck anon
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>>34909293
Thank you anon. I hope that we're all gonna make it some day.
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>>34909417
no problem
we will anon
we will
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Dunno nig,
Ive been meditating and contemplating this shit for a while too.
I dont even feel anger or sadness towards life at this point. It would be nice to have some sort of passion to pursue but I havent been able to find one.
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>>34909147
Well isnt the simple solution just to pick a skill you find useful or interesting and putting 100% effort on it no matter how it feels.
You can just observe your mind making up all these different shitty thoughts throghout the learning process and at some point it will shut up.
Im currently learning russian, Im not making as much progress as I could be and its just because I dont put enough time in. But its never frustrating.
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