Why are you not happy, anon? I'm living alone in third world

>>34903421
Because not having, is better than having and losing.

>>34903421
I guess it's because I take what I have for granted, and I feel like I can never have the one thing I want most, love

Mother died when I was a few months old and my father worked all the time. I never got the love and affection I craved, this lead to low self-worth, poor self perception, low confidence and a withdrawn and shy personality - desperately craving close relationships yet unable to take the required steps to attain them.

As I've grown older I've become better at dealing with loneliness and feelings of emptiness and hopelessness but they've never completely gone a way, perhaps coping would be a better word. Now I'm a 25 year old NEET for 9 years child trapped in an adult body, just going through the motions and waiting for death.

>>34903468
What do you mean by this?

>>34903515
Are you alone? No bf/gf situation? Do you have any family?

>>34903638
Do you have any hobbies?

>>34903709
If reading counts, sure. other than that I spend all my waking hours on the internet.

>>34903709
No, my situation is more morally bad than it is realistically bad. I have parents, even friends, but no gf, never had gf. It's absurd for me to feel the way I do, I consciously recognize that... I'm in the top 1% of the world's wealthy just by living in the US, probably better. But that realization doesn't change how I really feel.

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Because a stable, simple life in America is literally a luxury for the rich. To live like you I would need to save so much money and go through so much fucking red tape and bullshit it wouldn't even be worth it.

I am stuck being a disgusting, socialized, urbanite piece of garbage who lives to work and works to live.

No weekend camping trip or week long backpacking outing is ever going to satisfy my need for a simple life in the outdoors. My dream is to go full Richard Proenneke or Ted K. I just want to fuck off and never come back, but unfortunately that takes a lot of time and money.

>>34903709
I don't believe the very wealthy are truly any happier than us. More amused? Yes, but amusement and happiness are two different things. I think happiness is fleeting and unatainable as a motivator of survival instinct. Once you have food and shelter secured you next seek out love. Robots get trapped on this phase and it makes them miserable.The happiest people in the world are those with the largest number of social relationships, regardless of material wealth, according to research.

>>34903421
I might be going blind in my right eye. Can't go to a doctor because car doesn't work.

I dunno man I always think about how good I have it but it doesn't matter mentally. I don't mean I'm depressed, I'm pretty happy when I'm not thinking about reality or what I have yet to do.

I don't enjoy what I study, not 'into' what I'm planning to be employed doing, interested at best. The only thing I can get myself to do without forcing myself is play games.
Now even that is ruined because I know that whenever I play games I'm wasting time that NEEDS to be used elsewhere.
Night time and sleep doesn't last long enough really.

I'm lucky to have my family, my intelligence (what's there anyway), my health, I'm not deformed or anything. I'm glad for that.
But it doesn't stop me from the complete lack of motivation. So then I don't know what to do, because I CAN'T do it

It's been so long since I've had sex that it sometimes feels like it was just a dream and it didn't actually happen. I can't remember what it felt like. That's why I'm unhappy.

>>34903743
What book genre did you read?
>I spend all my waking hours on the internet.
Aside from 4chan, what else?

>>34903770
>friends
Are they consist of various backgrounds and sexes?

>>34903903
You can start now. Lower your standard that's enough to feed your for 10 years of living and save more money. Then you can be on your own. Time will flies faster than you thought.

>>34903928


>>34903979
Hitchhike? You still can write, right?

>>34904020
Stop that study right now and choose the path you like and satisfying. Do not bother what people will say about your decision. Prove it that you can survive with your decision. You don't want to be unhappy for the rest of your life, right?

>>34904063
Do you live nearby or town where's whore around? You can negotiate them. Install dating apps. It's quite easy actually.

Found out the girl i liked had a secret boyfriend the entire time

>>34905018
I take it as she's actively lying to you about being single?

Secret is a strong implication.

>>34905018
what did she manage to exploit you from?
money? sex? time?

>>34905125
>i.e. nothing, I'm her secret-admirer

>>34905251
Well, it's your move now. Man up and grab her away or you'll regret that when you're in 30s.

>>34903421
For once I actually planned to get out of the country, idk why but it's something on the back of my mind.

>>34905516
What is it that bothers you?

I haven't had a single relationship with a member of opposite sex. I wish I was gay, but I'm not, I fucking love girls, the only closeness I've had with them, I paid for it.

My close friends all have had girlfriends by now, except me. And, I'm not even the worse looking or antisocial among the bunch. I simply can't commit to any of it, this feels like a bad procrastination.

10+ years of playing videogames alone in a concrete box. Never had a job or anything.
Have not really found a motivation / reason to continue living for too long. 26 now probably going to kill myself around 40.

>>34903421
>I'm living alone in third world and earn my own daily breads by hardwork at the farm and barn animals, have my own small house (or cabin),

because I can do that same amount of work and only have half my rent paid

thanks obama

>>34905834
You could start with loving traps and then move on at your own pace from that.
>sexual orientation is nature
I don't believe it because I used to be straight as arrow myself back in those days. Now I'm a bisexual. Sometimes I'd invite persons (girls/men/traps) to my cabin and we're having sex just fine but most of my time I'd dedicated myself to nature, so the thought of sex can be suppressed/less prioritized. At least it's better than feeling depressed.

>>34905875
How about joining the army or something. At least your death won't be futile. If you hate to be trained, then ISIS is the way. I heard they're hiring people. Or maybe, do you have someone you hate to the guts especially the upper people in your town? Become an assassin, since you've clean records and unrecognizable by most people since the 10+ years of secluding yourself with the vidya world. Death in action is better than pathetically end yourself.

>>34905906
Learn the tax evasion and you'll be good. Just don't give up.

>>34906211
thanks bud, not thinking about it really helps with my problem

>>34903421
Ass Burger where's the next Spectrum podcast

>>34906211
I already skipped the mandatory army service in my country lel.

Nobody I hate, Ive done enough meditation to understand how thoughts and feelings and such work to stop giving a shit about most things.

Problem is I wouldnt mind doing some dangerous things if there was a cause I could get behind but I just dont have one, have searched for many years but still nothing. Ending my life before my body becomes too weak just seems like the logical thing to do.

>>34903421
>Why are you not happy, anon? I'm living alone in third world and earn my own daily breads by hardwork at the farm and barn animals
Because I'm intelligent. You're just a subhuman or you'd come to a real country too, since you're too stupid to even do that or get any kind of an education or a job, obviously you can't comprehend any existential questions or grasp the tragedy of the human condition.

But I am happy, anon.
I eat good food, occasionally drink beer and browse imageboards all day long. NEETbux is one helluva lifestyle.

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Because random strangers constantly make fun of me for looking small and weak and I've never had any friends or been in any kind of relationship and my mother used to shout at me and hit me when I did nothing wrong when I was a child

We are all spoiled friendo

>>34903421
>Why are you not happy, anon? I'm living alone in third world and earn my own daily breads by hardwork at the farm and barn animals, have my own small house (or cabin), pay my tax and still have internet that's good enough to post here. Why are you so unhappy? Please tell me.
this sounds like such a cozy life. Throw in a wife and it would be heaven.