Who here /emotional wreck/? >constantly living in states

You're not the only emotional wreck here. I can't help you, because I'm one too. But I can at least tell you you're not alone.

>>34836531
sounds like something i could've written except for the working part, since i'm a neet

>>34837139
>>34837191
Do either of you get therapy or meds?

I used to have both, but had to come off them because I can't afford the appointments or the medications anymore. Life is even worse now without them because there's no tiny glimmer of hope that it could start to get better.

>>34837329
Its gonna suck for awhile, good while.. You should keep going to therapy though.

Try not solving your problems with drugs, drugs should only be a maintenance type thing, not a solution.

>>34837345
I can't afford therapy. I moved out of state to take this job working for Amazon, but I've been temporarily laid off due to no work. My health insurance only covers providers in my home state, and I have yet to get to open enrollment in this state. Also, I have no fucking money for copays or even gas or food.

When I get into a predicament like this, where it seems there is no way out - this is what causes massive emotional wreckage. I don't know what to do. I can't take care of myself. I have no family. I'm not built to withstand this kind of stress.

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>have borderline personality disorder

it hurts so badly. i want to die.

>>34837329
I've been doing therapy for years but nothing has worked. Have tried a shit load of meds and was on 2 anti-depressants recently before I ended up quitting cold turkey. Do you have a diagnosis at all btw? Personally I'm diagnosed with BPD and a lot of the things you describe tend to go hand-in-hand with that disorder (not saying you have it though). Sorry you can't afford therapy/meds. I'm in a similar predicament atm and I don't even have neetbux so I feel like my life is fucked too.

>>34837449
Yeah

Well you're not gonna like this one, but you're going to have to ride it out man until you can get some health insurance.. which would be the first thing I would do. You aren't giving me any angles here.

Get on Medicaid since its free.. as for the med problem.. Get back on them.. you're pretty fucked. You probably need the drugs to think.

>>34837477
I'm in the same boat my man, I feel you.

>>34837449
In a situation this bad, get back on the drugs.. worry about coming off them later when you are more stable

>>34837477
>>34837505
I'm the same, guys (OP btw)
People will make jokes, they will enforce the stigma, but unless you have it you don't know how fucking horrible it is to deal with.

People with BPD have literally no control over their haywire emotions and are constantly going insane trying to keep things together.

>>34837510
>>34837501
I've applied for state assistance, but since I technically have a job, I was denied, even though I haven't been paid in weeks and won't be getting paid in the foreseeable future. I've also been searching for other jobs, but that takes forever.

I'm not expecting you to have any kind of miracle advice. I'm just venting right now. I can't afford appointments or meds and I'm stuck in a foreign place with no one to call on.

>>34837480
Yeah, I've got BPD as well as major depressive disorder. I didn't realize so many people on this board had it.

>>34837560
Isn't if your annual income falls below a certain threshold you can get assistance.. can't you explain to them your situation

With medical documentation, aren't you sort of a shoe-in? They give fucking useless niggers all kinds of state assistance, but god forbid someone actually works and is functional despite being a bit out of it needs a little help

Shit man

>>34837560
>People with BPD have literally no control over their haywire emotions and are constantly going insane trying to keep things together.


First BPD poster here

Yeah, I have this problem. Luckily I've been in therapy since middle school. But at the same time it's almost made things worse.

I'm fully aware of my emotional outbursts now, and when I am all I can do is scold myself and try to hold back. Just last thursday I spent the night laying in bed trying to calm myself down because I remembered something about someone that made me so angry I could barely control myself. I just laid there trying to calm down. Trying to sleep, fapping, anything I could do to calm down.

Sometimes I wish I had never gone to therapy, so I wouldn't be aware of when it's happening. I'd do more damage in my life, but ignorance is bliss or something, right?

Also last semester I failed all my classes due to an extreme bout of depression causing me to almost kill myself once a week. A professor told me I was wasting his time when I tried to explain it to him.

I almost killed myself that night. Had the kitchen knife to my wrists. Took blood thinners and adderall so my heartrate was up.

Sometimes, I wish I had done it.

>>34837607
The problem is that I'm not a useless nigger. Despite not having the hours to make up for it, I was denied assistance because the hourly wage I make is over the threshold at full time. I've applied for unemployment since apparently you can get that for a temporary layoff.

Open enrollment for my company health insurance starts in a couple weeks, I can only hope I'm getting back on the payroll close to then so I can use it.

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>>34836531
I've found that picking up a hobby, guns and outdoorsman shit in my case, helps me focus on things and makes me forget what a wreck I am.

That and escorts, I find myself saving up whatever I have left from bills, groceries and gun stuff going to my hooker fund.

Its good to have shit to look forward too anon

>>34837686
>Sometimes I wish I had never gone to therapy, so I wouldn't be aware of when it's happening.
So much this. If I'd never been diagnosed, I'd be equally depressed and anxious all the time, but I'd go on thinking the problem was everyone else or just environmental circumstance. Because now that I know the problem is definitely me, that there is no cure, and that I'm causing everyone who knows me constant anguish for having to put up with me - it makes suicide that much more appealing. I did attempt once but magically didn't get admitted to the psych ward that time despite having been admitted three other times that year for attempts and threats. Twice in police custody.

I got wasted and left the house and drove around blackout drunk a few weeks back, because my roommate said he wanted to move somewhere else without me, and I'm not capable of supporting myself all alone but there's no one left to care. I drove everyone away.

>>34837751
I have 2 (two gloves, left and right hand gloves) that look just like that glove.

>>34837994
Flight gloves are pretty nice famalam, you into milsurp?

Or escorts?

>>34838014
Im a crew chief (ch47)

>>34838050
What branch?

How'd you end up here?

>>34838139
Army.
I browsed before I enlisted in 2015.
Im still a virgin

>>34838176
Damn dude, well I'm telling you man escorts or drunken sluts are the way to go for us enlisted guys, getting into a relationship while we're in is a bad idea.

I lost my virginity to an escort and I never looked back

>>34838221
MOS? Also I dont feel like getting jail time for going out to the red light district. Im stationed in Korea.

>>34838262
I thought they old jailed you if you had a wife?

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>>34838262
I was an 1833/AAV crewman, I only got with escorts in the states but I did shack up with some hookers when I was on deployment.

Shore patrol are a bunch of cockblockers

I understand you not wanting to in Korea, I hear they're locked down over there.

Think about it when you come back stateside though if you can't get with somebody.

>>34838304
fellow amtracker here, who were you with?

>>34838343
Oh shit waddup!

I was with 3rd Tracks

>>34838352
>tfw 3rd tracks D co

>>34838377
You know I'll never forget then looks of defeat people got when they heard they were going to the stumps.

How long you been in for?

>>34838391
I was in for just under four years, got out about 6 months ago, you?

>>34838409
I got out around the same time but I did my 4

>>34838432
Yeah, I got general court martialed back in 15. got that big chicken dinner. im sure you have probably heard of me.

>>34838459
Y-you wouldn't happen to be the guy who got caught with all those drugs, would you?

>>34838484
Yeah, that was me. Good times.

>>34838304
Not asking for sources or anything but how does one go about getting an escort? Iv'e saved up a lot of money.

>>34838510
Wew lad, I think I might know you.

Team 4?

>funny meeting you here

>>34838540
jesus fuck. who the fuck are you?

>>34838539
If you're willing to make an account check TNA out, people actually review escorts on there.

If not eros dot com is a good site too, in fact I'm currently browsing it lol

>>34838550
Bro lets just leave it at that

Also if you are who I think you are, that shit you did with duct tape whenever you went on firewatch was fucking annoying

>>34838585
kek, dude get on rizon IRC and pm Panic

>>34838611
Lol I never used rizon before, how do I pm you.

I just really want to know what happened during the drug bust

>>34838670
easiest way https://www.rizon.net/chat then just use /msg

>>34838693
Ill try but my phone is broke as shit