How do I get a klutzy gf/bf whose life is a fucking mess? I want

>>34813364
Find someone with BPD

>>34813364
>27 chubby guy
>no job or career
>Barely have the stamian to keep up my hygiene
>don't like cleaning
>Need help with all kinds of paperwork
>bad posture, bad back, bad knees, bad poverall health, irritable bowel syndrome
>Accidentally knock things down and walk and bump into furnitures, breaking them
>No desire to do anything in life other than watch anime and not work
>So lonely he anally masturbates regualrry just to takew the edge off because he is so sick and tired of his hand
>Can't stomach alcohol and does not want to do drugs
>Never wants children of his own
>anxious about anything social
>greasy food diet

This cluimsy and mess enough for you, or are you really thinking a cute animu will suddenly appear in your life?

>>34813364
iktf anon
all i want is a gf who needs me to take care of her.
rip being a daddy

I would say yes except that you also like dick you slut

>tfw no heterosexual bf to never leave me and not think about penis

>>34814596
kek, be my broken slut gf that i have to punish

>>34813373
Jesus Christ I love lurking r9k for relationship advice.

>unironically suggests dating a clinical psychopath
>also complains how manipulative people are and how he can't have a healthy relationship

hahahah

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Unstable people are more likely to leave you I think. Be careful what you wish for, anon.
Maybe one day you will find someone who stays with you because of love and not because of reliance.

>>34814680
I'm not a broken slut and I don't want to be punished. Try Craigslist.

>>34814694
What is this "love" thing you are talking about? Never seen it before.

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>>34814764
It's a beautiful thing, anon. Hopefully one day you can experience it.

>>34814844
ree

42477427

I'm a guy and all I want is a clingy gf. I hate it when I message a girl and she doesn't respond for ages. I need to be bombarded with attention from her or I'll feel like she hates me. I wish I wasn't like this.

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>>34814844
I hope so too. But I kind of doubt it. Maybe in the next life.

My whole life is a mess and I'm completely unreliable, but I think that is why I developed an extreme sense of independence and even if someone would like to help me, I would refuse it.

>>34813364
People who dependent to you like that ain't all jazz and flowers they are like a drainage.
They often is the one ungrateful prick that will leave you at first sign if they think they found someone "better" and will you leave you in mess instead.

If you want someone who rely, submissive, and never mess you up, break them, completely break their mind yourself and offer them salvation they'll thirst for. This contradictory shit will attach them to you.

all I want is a dominant chubby gf but still acts motherly to me

>>34813437
>>No desire to do anything in life other than watch anime and not work

Be my bf. We can pool our bux and live a comfy NEET life.

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>>34813364
I'm a total clutz, both with my hands and in social life since I always end up dropping spaghetti. I want to try cooking but I always make a mess, also this morning I woke up noticing I was wearing my pajama upside down.

It'd be very comfortable having a partner who'd help me out and cheer me up while I try to improve myself.
Also I like the idea of my partner wearing the pants in the relationship.

Sadly I'm a male, so I just look like a retarded beta loser instead of a cute person.

>>34814748
try getting off my board you dumb roastie whore

>>34815656
>a retarded beta loser
and what does that look like? post a pic w/ eyes censored or something

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I have social anxiety and I am a 25 year old neet loser with no future and all I wanna do is play video games and watch anime and be nice to whoever wants me please someone be with me my email is colonthreeanon[at]outlook.com

>>34815714
I'm never posting a pic of myself here.
Just imagine an ugly hairy fusion between a spic and an italian whose relaxed face looks depressed/angry.

>>34815744
Stats? Like height/weight/penis

>>34813364
>be sperg(male) neet on the bux.
>no friends, no future, clumsy, stupid, agoraphobe.
>just play games all day and watch anime and fill my brain with useless trivia.
>I know i'm going to be alone.
>I know i'm going to be alone.
>see this and fight all morning with myself.

I just want to pool my neetbux with some other loser.

ill put my email here but people in here are probably trolling, not like i can tell anyway
[email protected]

You are exactly what I'm looking for, but I'm not single :/ I haven't been in years because I am such a mess.

>>34813364
>have stable job
>have my own apartment
>decently groomed and attractive
>reliable and headstrong, not a clutz
>basically extremely stable life, don't belong here
>all I want is a socially awkward gf who will mess things up and need to be comforted with headpats
>tfw those girls don't exist outside in the real world because they're too afraid to go there

I had a crush like OPs description. She made me feel warm inside for 1 month first time in my life as we were talking but then she rejected me telling she is afraid of males. 1 week later she got an abusive bf and she is crazy for him. I think that moment made me a robot

>chubby gay dude
>spend my whole day playing vidya (PC)
>got a few friends, occasionally go out
>enjoy booze, don't drink too often
>(had) a job

it'd be cool if i had a bf.

>>34814920
Fuck that hits close to home

>>34815161
That sounds like a fucking dream lmao

>>34815219
FINLAND
E
B
I
N

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>>34815790
>tfw I look exactly like this
You're mixed too aren't you hombre

>>34817724
Yeah anon, the suffering is real
I just want a hug

>>34814691
you act as if you have seen his other posts. fuck youre dumb eh? also add me in your ebin screencap for r/4chan XDDDDD

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This desu, if i don't get to meet someone after i finish uni and get my shit together I'm kidnapping a girl from the internet to be mine until the end

>20 y.o. guy
>Been unemployed for some time now
>going nowhere with my life
>starving myself even though I'm already thin asf
>All that I care about is status and looks
>Yet I somehow still make enough every month to cover my expenses

>>34815839
I can be your gf(male)
Lanigiro

>>34819308
Sorry anon, I can't roll in that direction.

I wanna make a girl fall hopelessly in love with me and then like kill myself so she remembers me forever