I WANT TO FUCKING TALK TO SOMEONE BUT I HAVE NO FUCKING FRIENDS

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If you promise to not chat in full caps I can add you to a robot group chat

Hey baby. It's me anonymous. I love you baby <3 xoxo

>>34806509
Hey calm down buddy. Where do you live?

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>>34806509
Same here, I put fireplace footage on and cranked up the heat to make it more comfy here.


Such is life

OH I WANNA DANCE WITH SOMEBODY

I WANNA FEEL THE HEAT WITH SOMEBODY

YEAH I WANNA DANCE WITH SOMEBODY

WITH SOMEBODY WHO LOVES ME

>>34806972
seconded
i am suffering from the same, op

>>34806509
all my works and labors serve the dream that every person on earth shall feel as you OP

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>>34806509
In the same boat.

Which city OPEE?

>>34807259
evol

>>34806509
Just talk to yourself, I do it occasionally to vent.

>>34806509
Normie here,
post a pic of yourself, I'll give you tips.

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Nigger it's 2017, go look up and join a discord chat instead of going apoplectic about your lack of a social life

>>34806617

ha ha

love fireplace footage or beach waves.

>>34806509
This will be my first post on r9k, not because I'm a loser but because I've never been to the bord before. Fucking go out? Go to a pub, go to a movie (John wick 2) and invite a mate with you, good god there are a million things to do. Go do them.

>>34807368
>invite a mate with you
Leave

>>34807368
You haven't been here before, so you don't understand this board. No normans allowed

>>34807368
Please either leave or lurk more

>>34807368
Holy shit, this fresh take just changed my life.

>>34806509
It could be worse. I'm at my parent's house (where I live), they're having a party with tipsy old people. I have to hide out in the other room and they sometimes come in and bother me. I guess it distracts from the crippling loneliness but it's not comfy at all, I want peace and privacy.

>>34807368
>this is excellent quality bait dot jaypeg

>>34807278
>evol

Am I supposed to know what that is?

>>34806509
Hey anon, I know what you mean. I'm the same way pretty much

My suggestion is to unironically, legitimately, start lifting. It's a fun activity and it takes up your time. It gives you an endorphin rush. You can take a cold shower when you're done then lay down and play vidya, and flex your muscles and it gives you physical pleasure.

Exercise and lifting isn't just for chads. We can do it too.

As for getting friends and people to talk to, no idea I'm in the same boat as you

>>34807869
SORRY I ONLY LIFT IRONICALLY

>>34807869
I do that. I just don't make any progress. I'm pretty thin so I guess I need to stop being a pussy, hop on a PL program and eat like a monster. I'm learning to deadlift but I don't squat.

>>34807651
It's love spelled backwards

>>34806509
Meetup.com
Bars
Find a hobby and find people who like it as well

>>34806509
>>>34808191
Why dont you mind being alone?

>>34807651
oops typo
meant to spell evil

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OP here lads

I work at dentist offices as a receptionist, I make around $15 an hour, I live in Tampa Bay, Florida. Plenty of places where to go here if you have friends and a loving partner.

There's no way in hell I would hand out with my mom and let alone my dad.

My 2 brothers gotta be fucking as I type this sentence.
My sister gotta be getting her brains fucked out of her body.
My cousins have kids so they have to be either taking care of their kids or fucking their wives/husbands
My roommate gotta be fucking some random hoes since he's a Chad and will probably call me later to go pick him up.

I won't call my fucking college teacher to hang out and get drunk because then he won't believe me whenever I give him the excuse that I was "sick" to not do my homework

I just want to talk to someone, I'm drunk as fuck and super lonely, I wanna feel for the fist time what is to kiss a girl

>>34808389
Try getting a new job

>>34808389
>I won't call my fucking college teacher to hang out and get drunk
Um, what? Is this a thing for you?

>>34807368
>Go to a pub, go to a movie (John wick 2) and invite a mate with you

no money to spend on pub, no mates to watch movie with. Do you not understand the concept of no friends mr norman?

try to go out and have a conversation with someone.

i got into a car accident all of my friends moved. the only contacts with people beside my parents are at physical therapy and personal trainer. he is in his 60s so we can['t really relate just looking at the girls and talking about food.

>>34807368
>Having friends
>Someone who posts on r9k

Pick one

call up the bangbros! i'm sure they'd be happy to talk to you or w/e

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you are no longer alone

call the suicide helpline, im pretty sure they have no choice but listen to you

this thread describes exactly how im feeling right now

>>34806509
>.t normie deprived of his "needs"

pathetic.

>>34806509

Dude.....

....Of all the replies you'll get tonight, PAY ATTENTION TO THIS ONE

...I have been in your position many times in my life, then vacillated into the opposite situation, and back again

So trust my perspective....

I used to be THE EPITOME of the proverbial social butterfly...

The nightclub scene, being in a band, banging chicks, being infamous, being a piece of shit (see pic)... All of these things led to me having to juggle friends and acquaintances....

Literally

PAY ATTENTION :

WHY I DONT DO FACEBOOK- if I wanted to talk to those worthless motherfuckers, I would have never stopped associating with ALL of them 25 years ago....

Fuck them

Again: FUCK THEM !!...

There's no such thing as 'friends', because they're actually just temporary acquaintances at best

'Best' friends are nothing more than future enemies who you've allowed to know when you're most vulnerable for their impending betrayal

I'm NOT a pessimist

I'm a REALIST

I have over 300 contacts on my phone

I NEVER CALL ANYONE

NEVER

N E V E R

N... E... V... E... R...

I'm an isolationist

And I'm happier than I've ever been in my life

My advice ?...

Again PAY ATTENTION

A pet

A dog

A cat

They are the only real friends you'll ever have

I've never had an animal lie to me, set me up, rip me off, give me shitty advice, pretend to be my friend, try to fuck my girl behind my back, sell me fake dope, or betray me in any way shape or form

So it's obvious where my loyalty goes

In summary, stop worrying about what you don't have, because YOU REALLY DONT NEED OR WANT IT AT ALL

Learn to be pleased and content on your own, because even when in a relationship or surrounded by throngs of others, you're still stuck inside of YOU

You can call me if you want.

You can even hit *67 to hide your number from me. I don't care.

47O-217-2O16

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I suppose if I told you to refer to my pic, I should've included it, huh ?

Lol my bad

Yeah dude....

Prison isn't cool

But it taught me a valuable lesson

I LIKE ME

I ENJOY BEING TOTALLY ALONE

ITS JUST A MATTER OF PERSPECTIVE

So modify your perspective

And just relax

Let go

It's okay

The grass is always greener.....

>>34809280
Hi r9k dad. I love you and happy valentine's day. I hope you and Penny Neptune had a wonderful time. Xoxo

Yo op, Im drunk and what to talk as well
I think...tinychat?

You can always go and watch a movie, go out to eat, visit a museum or something, go to the beach, take a walk in a park, go hiking, etc.

There's so much to do anon in this world, but the reason why people seem to think they can't do all this is because they insist on doing it WITH SOMEONE ELSE. Believe me, it's not as bad as you think going out alone. You get to enjoy life, and you're on your own schedule, and you get to be out for as long as you want, with no one nagging you or having to bore you out with their bullshit. Sure, you'll be alone, but you'll be too busy to feel lonely. Hell, you might even make a new friend or two.

>>34809473
>>34806509
Also last time I made a tinychat with robots it was just 2 eastern european dudes; the american guy was too autistic to talk.

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I'm just like you anon.
Whenever these threads come up I get ridiculously anxious because I'm afraid that somebody here is going to say that you're all pretending to be friendless and i'll come here expecting to not feel that unusual about not having a friend but then some asshole reminds me how fucked up I am and I'll feel awkward and disgusting.
I JUST WANT ONE INTROVERTED FRIEND WHO DOESNT LOOK LIKE HES CRYING 24/7? IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?

>>34809168
I have a normiebook account, just coworkers, classmates, and family members, none of which give a fuck about me.

>>34809280
There's nothing else that I love more than being by myself, listening my music in a comfy night, but sometimes that shit gets old and you want actual human affection

>>34809541
I'm not sure I understand. your perspective is quite interesting though

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>>34806539
Please add me, I'm begging you >>34806617
I think we would be great friends, anon I'd rather this 1000 times than being in a fucking club being forced to talk to normies who at the end of the day will judge me
>>34806586
I live in Tampa Bay, FL, anon
>>34806558
If only I could read this from her I would be the happiest man alive on earth

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>>34807368
Go out? I've tried going out, drive with loud music, waste money on gas and put more mileage on my car for nothing.

The beach is 5 minutes away from me whenever I go in this area due to this area being a Bay Area, meaning that we're surrounded by water, still nothing. It just feels like shit being a robot, i can't just have a normal conversation with a stranger, hence why I'm a lonely virgin

>>34809280
Dear /r9k/ dad,

How do I file my tax returns properly?
I used turbo tax photo and sent my job delivered W2 and it said I OWE $120 .

Ive only been alive two decades, less commonly refered to as a score.

Help?

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>>34807869
>start lifting kek

Tried that, and never came back to the gym after seeing all those stacies and chads making fun of my fatass

It's just not easy my man

>>34809954
" You'll worry less about what people think about you when you realize how seldom they do."

>>34809954
>Tried that, and never came back to the gym after seeing all those stacies and chads making fun of my fatass
Then lift until you're big enough for them to not laugh at you out of fear. Normies make surface level judgements, any set of defined muscles will scare them.

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>>34810218
"Go back to fucking reddit you faggot"
- me

yeah.. but seriously Im drunk and Im probably going to blow my brains out if I dont here another human voice

>>34810218
Do you browse plebbit by any chance?