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>be me
>mommy's big 550lb boy
>sleeping soundly in my crib next to my tipsy toy with the hole in her poopoo maker
>dreaming of tendie land where ronald and wendy feed me tendies atop mount tendie where i rule as king tendie
>my slumber is interrupted by my sister stacy
>she barges in with a can of deodorant and a peg on her nose
"Wake the fuck up, Anon we're going on vacation!"
>let out a post sleep poopoo directly into my dora onesie
"YOU WOKE THE BABY FROM HSI SLUMBER, NOW KING TENDIE HAS YOUR NUMBER!"
"Anon, we don't have time for this shit. We have to be at the Airport in an hour. Mom is losing her shit!"
"TRAVLLING TODAY ARE WE TO TENDIE LAND JUST US THREE!?"
*snort* Sure Anon, we're going to fucking "Tendie Land" Now get your retarded ass up we have to be in the car in 10 minutes! And for fucks sake get a fucking shower!"
"TRAVEL TO TENDIE LAND SHALL I AND REIGN AS KING UNTIL I DIE!"
>we drive to the airport with the windows rolled down
>other cars on the freeway swerve to avoid my stench
>we arrive at the airport and get on the plane
>get a whole section to myself as no-one will sit with me
>demand that the stewardess put bear in the big blue house on the inflight tv
>dumb normie bitch doesn't even know what it is
>have to jerk my mighty 2 incher to shrek instead
"Ew, gross. Mom, Anon is jerking of in public again!"
"Anon we've talked about this, now put that thing away the meal has arrived!"
>oh well, at least the tend king shall receive his tendies
"Here you are sir, a delicious Shepherds Pie."
>wut
"Just eat it Anon, Jesus..."
>REEEEEEEEEEEEE
"KIND TENDIE DOES NOT WITH TO TRY THIS PALTRY DISH OF SHEPHERDS PIE! FETCH ME TENDIES RIGHT AWAY OR I SHALL HAVE YOU KILLED, OKAY?!"
>she runs away sobbing
>that bitch mommy knows just what to do
>she grabs my chubby thumb and sticks it in my mouth
>i drift off into a soothing slumber
>i dream of tendie land once again, but soon i shall experience the real thing
>i awake just as we land
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(cont)
>the pilot informs us that we have landed at london gatwick
>hmm that doesn't sound like tendie land
>perhaps we have to carpool
>as we leave the airport it becomes apparent that something is very wrong
>where is honey mustard valley? choccy milkshake falls? mount tendie?
"Hurry the fuck up, Anon, we're going to visit Buckingham Palace!"
>a palace! that sounds more like the place for king tendie!
>we arrive
>it's just some dumb grey building with a bunch of marge simpson look a likes mincing outside
>the walls aren't made of breadcrumbs, the doors aren't guarded by grimace
"THE PLACE IS NOT FIT FOR THE KING OF CLUCKS, SO I SHALL DETHRONE THESE IMPOSTER FUCKS!"
"Stop yelling, Anon, Jesus you're so embarrassing!"
>using all of my hard strength a pull the gates from their hinges and make my way to the entrance
>armed guards attempt to tackle me but are incapacitated by my stench
>i barge in and see the queen on her throne
>i teleport behind her, unsheathe my katana and...
>actually i didn't do that but it would've been wicked cool
"What is one doing in one's home?"
"I AM THE KING OF CHICK-FIL-A! AND I'M TAKING OVER YOUR PALACE TODAY!"
"i reach down deep into my onesie, pull out a large dollop of tendie slime and launch it at her face
>it hits her square between the eyes and she drops dead instantly
>i sit upon my throne, reach into my onesie, pull out a burger king crown and place it on my head
>a guard walks in,
>he bows to me
"All hail, King Tendie. Your Mother and Sister are here your Highness what shall I do"
"...Execute them."
"As you wish."
>I can hear their screams
"NO! OH GOD NO! SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING!"
"their agonizing screaming jolts me awake
>i'm still on the plane
>the screaming is real
>i look down at my teletubbies digital watch
>the screen reads 9:02 am 9/11/01
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screencapped and saved
10/10, Ackbar
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>>34799011
>>34798985
>>34799257
Include me in the screen cap Iads
>>
>>34799334
why the hell would we do that?
origami
>>
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>>34799363
>why the helI would we do that?
>origami
>>
>>34799011
>>34798985
6/10
Pretty good OC, arguably very good.
>>
lol this is so obviously fake
>>
>>34798985
>>34799011
This obviously didn't really happen. OP's a fat loser who has to make up stories because he's too pathetic to have anything interesting happen in his life.
>>
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>ywn be an autist in a tendie story
>>
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>>34799520
>>34799580
Wow, I don't know what to say.
>>
>>34798985
Nice b8 new faggot
This is FAKE
>>
>>34799257
I'm going to post this on Reddit. Thanks for the Karma
>>
>>34799720
>Thanks for the Karma
Thanks for the free dick
>>
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>>34799680
>triggered by original content
Fuck off weaboo, adults are talking.
>>
>>34799680
baiting someone for baiting
baitception
>>
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>>34799011
>marge simpson look a likes
Ahh lord....
>>
I'm impressed. Good job op
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>>34798985
>>34799011
>White people actually do this
>>
This was actually funny to y'all?
>>
Tl;DR oragami
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>>34803823
tl;dr OP is a fat neet and fantasizes being a king while on board a hijacked plane on 9/11
>>
what a fantstic story
i quite liked it
is it true?
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>>34802926
begone normalscum
>>
>>34799580
>>34799520
Holy shit we need to abandon ship
Our newfags are so fucking new they don't even remember tendies
What the FUCK happened to this site
Thread posts: 25
Thread images: 10
Thread images: 10