>be me >mummy's chunky 550 pounder >wake up at

>>34794175
You peopIe are beyond saving.

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>>34794175
what the fuck

originigger

>>34794175
That was refreshing anon
I fucking miss these like hell
Make r9k great again

>>34794175
Did mommy post bail for you?

>>34794175
I've read this before anon.
just b original

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Nice one OP

>i wake up for another sing-songy sunshiney sunday funday
>i stretch and yawn as I rip my daily wakey gas, the feeling of liquid splattering against my Magic School Bus undies makes me proud
>i haul myself out of bed, kissing my Rei Ayanami body pillow good morning, but my legs buckle out from under my generous frame
>oh well! I guess I'll have to be a Roly Poly from now on
>i roll over to my GBP chart and check it
>I've saved up a whole 5 GBP! That's a new record I'm SURE mummy will be proud of!
>i roll down the stairs to see what mumsy is up to this wonderful morning
>i slip and crack my nose against the stairpost
>mumma gets up shocked, "Anon are you okay?!"
>i'm bleeding from my nose and it has a weird shape, but I don't care, "mummy mummy, where's the yummy chickie tendies for my tummy?"
>"what?"
>i lift my shirt and begin slapping my tummy like a bongo "your precious little angel has saved five GBP, make some chickie tendies, and make them all for me!"
>"Anon, you know the price for a tendie meal is 20 Good Boy Points. And after the Legoland incident you should be grateful that you still have 5 left."
>i freeze. This BITCH, has the fucking GALL, to deprive me of my well deserved poultry cutlets.
>i sit up and begin slamming my feet on the floor angrily and punching my head
>"YOUR SPECIAL LITTLE BOY HAS BEEN GOOD FOR FAR TOO LONG, TENDIES NOW YOU BITCH OR I SHALL DO YOU WRONG"
>she closes her eyes, "Anon, please calm down..."
>i begin screaming and simultaneously poopooing and peepeeing my pants, but my engine has been burned out and I curl up in my own waste, peacefully sleeping
>i wake up clean and tethered to my bed, a plate of yummy tendies on my tummy with a note from mama jama saying she's sorry for being so harsh and that she's proud of me for being such a good boy
Being a bad boy has its perks, but nothing beats the satisfaction of being mummy's good little boy!

>>34794175
...I wonder what motivated his mom to call the cops.

>>34794175
>IS THIS HOW AMERICA TREATS IT'S HEROES?
Your story bought tears to my eyes. America a once bright beacon shining light across the world has fallen from a great height. I fear her flame will never illuminate the world again.

>>34794175
>REEEEEEEEEEEE
>no reply

Oh anon, this is one of the best ones Ive read

>>34794175
Pretty nice

Something fresh after al those
>5am ask mother to drive me to mcdonal

>>34794175
I know these are reddit fag b8, but I always read these when I see them

>>34794342
>and tethered to my bed
just think of the people who really live like this

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I laugh at these but then remember that there are people that are actually like this

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>>34794175
>>34794342
Thanks anons, tendies stories always make me smile

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>3 am
>12 hours into my League of Legends normie killing campaign
>playing my waifu jinx
>some normie is obviously using hax and kills me.
>I manage to hold back a scream. Only for my beautiful waifu
>still angry, decide to eat tendies for comfort.
>reaches to special curves
>lifts tendie fold
>no tendies, only sweat and barbie q sauce
>pull out my sauce covered hand, screaming in rage
>why didn't mommie restock my folds yet
>screaming continues, using my rage to stand
>pukie all over keyboard from the stress
>smell of barbie q and pukie fills the air
>how dare mommie make me look like this in front of my Jinxie
>lumber to the door, barb ba qu sauce drips down my body as it mixes with sweet.
>"MOMMIE MOMMIE YOUR SWEET BABY BOY IS HUNGRRYY"
>I can hear a panic shuffling. Mommie must know the wrong she did.
>"MOMMIE YOU'VE BEEN BAD TO YOUR BABBY BOY"
>throws self down the stairs, my big boy bones are too heavy for the steps and the stair chair is too slow.
>My sensual rolls break my fall, leftover barby sauce squirting out as I land.
>Mommie tries to run for the door
>she slips on the bar ba que that discharged from my store folds.
>Mommie's big dumb head hits coffeetable then floor
>"Mommie mommie"
>I poked mommie with saucey finger
>dumb cunt doesn't wake up, lying in barba quey sauce
> I must have spilled ketchup too
>Red sauce everywhere
>go to the freezer
>start shoving tendies into my folds to heat
>refuse to use oven like some useless mommie
>step over mommie and squeeze into stair chair.
>Stair chair whirls loudly
>Mommy still not up.
>roll back to computer
>my team lost while I was dealing with mommie
>fucking pleb normies
>looking at Jinx makes my tinkie feel spicy
>use my slippy sauce covered hand to make my tinkie feel extra spicy.
>tinke pukies on keyboard
>goes to the chan to find more pictures to make my tinkie spicey
>next day mommys still sleeping

bitch.

>be watching mighty morphing power rangers and jerking off to shit fetish porn (dual screen for life)
>feel the pain of being overfull start to wane
>my eyes well up with tears, knowing that mummy has once again broken her promise and let me go hungies
>grab my bitch summoning stick and smash it against the wall, hard enough to leave a hole in the wall
>hear mummy rush upstairs
>"anon what the fuck is it this time? I just made you dinner an hour ago. It's almost 10:30, quiet down or im calling the cops"
>Screech at her as loud as I can, startling her
>explain that if she fucking calls ANYONE other than dominoes, I'm going to kill myself
>she asks what I want again
>tell her I want 35 tendies, 7 large fries, and a gallon of chokie milk
>she says that's a preposterous amount of food
>I ask why I would give a shit
>she leaves, I return to my masturbation
>about 20 minutes later she returns, food in hand and tears in her eyes
>"I-I'm sorry that I yelled at you pumpkin, you know I love you and that you're my special big boy, right?"
>say nothing but take my food, investigating it
>"shnugums?"
>see 35 tendies, chockie milk, and 5 large fries
>FIVE
>Clock her in the fucking whore face
>she crumples to the ground in a heap, instantly unconscious
>I drag her downstairs to the couch where she sleeps
>see on the table 5 more large fries and 10 more tendies
>seems she was just gonna make a second trip
>start to feel bad, but decide if she really loved me she wouldn't have let a misunderstanding happen
>go upstairs and watch paw patrol

>>34794175
>mommy tells me she's going to take me to see Force Awakens a while back
>She tells me to get into the car and warm it up as she puts her makeup on
>too big for the front so I waddle to the car and get in the middle so I don't put too much weight on one side
>all of a sudden a guy runs up our driveway and takes mommy's car
>too distracted to notice me sitting in the backseat
>as he began to flee, I slouched in my seat deeper than ever before
>after 5 minutes, just enough time for him to feel safe, I spoke up in the monotone of a person who didn't understand the gravity of the situation
> "I am in the backseat, AMA"
>He was shocked and terrified by my non-nonchalance, causing him to lose control of Mommy's car and crash into a nearby Denny's. >He was dead upon impact but I emerged without a scratch because I didn't tense up
>As I stepped out of the flaming wreckage, my strong legs glistening with sweat from the heat of victory and waifu pillow in hand, applause erupted throughout the establishment
>"Hero" they called me; a title I reluctantly accepted
> Unaffected by the commotion, I calmly walkedover to a booth and beckoned a beautiful Denny's waitress
> "No need for a menu" I said, "I'll be having 2 of everything"
>for the first time in my life, I ate at a restaurant without my Mom.

Was Force Awakens any good

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>be me, last night
>mom tells me we're going to a family event, wants me to come
>"it will be good for you to get out of the house, anon"
>"fuck off slut" (im in the middle of minecraft building)
>she UNPLUGS MY COMPUTER, i freak out
>dad comes down and yells, mom is in tears
>im infuriated, facing the other way, but mutter obligation, feeling crafty in order to spite my normie parents
>i shower, brush teeth, and get dressed in normie clothes (jeans, sketchers, and white shirt)
>come upstairs, mom promises tendies, things start looking brighter
>we arrive, people try to greet me and say "its nice to see me"
>typical american slave families all around, i scoff to myself and acknowledge no one
>we sit down, scan through the menus
>only shit-tier food: lobster, crab, grilled chicken pastas and steak
>fuck this, ask mom wheres the tendies
>she says that they dont have any
>says I'll get tendies next week if I behave myself tonight
>the gall!
>lying bitch, i become infuriated
>i throw my menu and stand up, knock over my chair and my water glass (i had asked for mountain dew)
>"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" I shout loudly in the middle of the busy restaurant
>all normies shocked, i feel a rush of adrenaline
>leap up on table
>decide to HULK THE FUCK OUT
>ANON SMASH
>try to tear apart shirt, doesnt work
>oh well
>leap down from table
>storm out of restaurant with pride
>mom and dad come out, mom is crying and dad is fuming
>mission accomplished
>silent drive home as i snicker to myself in the back seat
>mum makes me tasty tendies for brekky today
>mfw

now enjoying a nice saturday morning on /r9k/ and basking in my accomplishment!

>>34794175
I remember this story from a few weeks ago.
One of the greats.

>>34794788
>I laugh at these but then remember that there are people that are actually like this

It's fucking hilarious: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4PTf7LgsIE

>>34795648
God, poor woman.

>>34795648
The first story was probably genuine.

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>Be me, 342 lbs of proud, big boned badass
>In my room playing Sonic Free Riders
>Tumbly gives out a rumbly
>Reach for another handful of Bugles but the bag is empty
>"It seems my food has been depleted. I guess that means some more is needed!"
>Engage my mommy pager device aka pounding on the wall with my strong thick big boy arm
>Let out a scrart (screech fart) to convey the urgency of the situation
>Mommy comes into the room, dark circles under her eyes
>"Anon it's 3:45 I have to leave for work at 5:00 and I only just got to-"
>"Cease your whining, vile whore. I'm out of snacks and I need more! Fix me tendies now, posthaste, or my vengeance you shall taste!"
>Brandish my katana and threaten to slice open a poo sack
>"That's not a katana anon that's a wiffle ball bat"
>Whack!
>Mommy sighs and turns to leave when her nightgown snags on the dresser, jostling it and causing my Ayanami Rei figurine to tip over
>"o-oh anon, your doll I'm sorry"
>"She's not a doll, and now you're through! I'll drown you til you rest in poo!"
>Get off the bed with a mighty roll
>Clutch my sword
>Take a deep breath and begin my charge to defend my lady's name
>I'm not closing the distance fast enough, mommy's getting up!
>Another scrart startles her enough to freeze her
>Grab the nearest poo bag and drop it on her back
>It doesn't break
>Time to show my full power
>"Attack my woman, you craven trollop?! Beware, your baby packs a wallop!"
>Bring my katana down on top of the bag, bursting it and covering mommy in my chocolate
>Mommy's cries and slips in the poo
>See Rei on the floor
>Combined with this alpha display, I'm pretty horny
>Start rubbing my willy now that mommy can't stop me
>She looks up in horror as I let a milky load rip all over her pathetic existence
>Lean on dresser for support
>It can't stand my high-test figure and breaks
>Splinters fly everywhere.
>My hide protects me but they cut mommy
>She stops moving
>Still hungry
I'm THIS close to calling child services

>>34794175
>>never see her again
A modern Shakespearean tragedy :(

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>>34794788
kek'd because the digits and the originality

>>34794175
if this is oc include me in the screencap reddit

Cops should have shot OP because he was carrying a sword.

>>34794196
>>34794281
Normalfags spotted

>>34797301
A toy sword made out of foam.

>>34794175
well meme'd mate havent laughed like that in a while

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>>34796434
8/10, wifflebat katana was nice touch

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>Be hanging out with my daki (Mikuru is best waifu)
>Mommy comes in and asks me if I want to go to Friendlies for a platter of tendies and some icy creamy
>Clap excitedly and rush to the car with Mikuru
>Sit in backseat with her, mommy gets to car and starts driving us to Friendlies
>Mikuru gets frisky and starts eyeing up my crotch
>Decide to give her a show
>Pull out my cock and start tugging it around
>Mikuru looks at it hungrily, cum on her face in a matter of seconds and scream
>Hear mommy sigh from front seat and mutter that she made a mistake
>Tell her it's okay,I love mommy and I can get her her OWN Daki
>She sighs, obviously with relief
>We get to friendlies, get out with Mikuru and we order three plates of tendies and frenchies, thinking about what kind of Icy Creamy I'll get
>Mommy orders a glass water and some toast
>Asks for three slices instead of two
>Warn her not to go over board or new Chad Daddy might not like her flab flab
>Shes so grateful for my advice that her eyes start to water
>Me and Mikuru finish our tendies and mommy makes a comment about me not throwing stones
>She KNOWS I'm sensitive about my beautiful curves
>I control myself, but Mikuru is in love with me
>She lunges forward and attacks mommy for disrespecting her hubby
>Waitress comes over and grabs me
>Why grab me? Mikuru is the one hurting mommy!
>Realize... the waitress is in love with me too
>Lunge forward and start making out with her, Mikuru stops attacking mommy for some reason
>Waitress pushes me away, I knew I should have stuck with Mikuru
>Shit pants and start crying
>everyone in restaurant staring at us
>Manager man comes and says we have to leave
>Never got my icy creamy
>REEEEEEEEEEEE
>Go home with mommy, she's apologizing for ruining my night out
>Tell her that after TONIGHT, only a threeway with Mikuru will make up for what she did
>Mommy starts sobbing tears of joy knowing that she can do something to make me forgive her
>mfw

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>>34794175
>my soiled mlp onesie becoming a jackson pollock canvas of poo and pee

>>34795648
I feel like the autists hitting themselves are doing it to end their life of pain but can't succeed because of their impairment. I imagine I'd do that if I was severely autistic and aware of it.

>>34798204
I don't think they're trying to kill themselves

It's more of a thing they do and then focus on in order to distract them from something else that makes them feel anxious or uncomfortable

>>34798018
Wait, did you actually take the semen-stained hugpillow into the eatery with you?

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>wake up at 3pm
>fill piss bottle
>waddle out to check GBP board
>finally reached 100 for not shitting in the car yesterday
>REEEEEEEEE in excited delight so loud and high the window cracks
>too out of breath to walk
>roll into kitchen where mummy is doing the budget
"MUMMY MUMMY NOW IS FUN DAY TIME FOR TENDIE SPECIAL SUNDAE"
>mummy slowly looks up, her eyes wide and quivering
"b-but I-I have to work today and that takes four hours to make..."
>heave myself upright, all 450 pounds
>face is bright red and sweating bullets from exertion and fury
"NOW I SPEND MY GBP, SO MAKE TENDIES TO PLEASE ME"
"I c-can't... we don't have any..."
>what the fuck did you just fucking say to me you little bitch
>begin quaking with apoplectic rage, jiggling like a triple decker jello mold
>shove mummy to the ground and start tearing off her only dress
"YOU FORGET TO BUY THE MEAT, SO NOW IT'S YOU WHO MUST EAT! I AM NO LONGER BENDY, SO NOW YOU SUCK MY TENDIE!"
>shove my cock in mummy's mouth
>haven't washed in months of course
"TOASTIE ROASTIE! DUMMY MUMMY!"
>mummy pulls away gagging and sobbing
>it's ok, five seconds was long enough
"SPRAYO MAYYYOOOOOOOO"
>blast all over mummy, grunting and moaning like a semi passing on the highway
>inexplicably have huge volume despite jacking it eight times a day
>make sure to get it everywhere
>point and laugh
"CUMMY TUMMY! CUMMY TUMMY!"
>laboriously turn around and shift backwards
"STUPID BITCH COLD LIKE ICE! NOW MIXED WITH CREAM THAT'S NICE! REMEMBER I'M THE BOSS! NOW ADD THE CHOCOLATE SAUCE!"
>spray diarrhea all over mummy for solid minute
"ROASTIES MAKE ME WARY, CUZ THEY LACK A CHERRY! NOW SUNDAE IS COMPLETE! ONE IN CHARGE IS THE NEET!"
>wheeze and collapse from exhaustion, falling on top of mummy and trapping her underneath layers of fat
>takes three hours until strong enough to roll back to couch
>piss myself five times
>grind trail of filth into carpet while rolling
>mummy gets hose and mop, starts cleaning me up
"w-who's my b-big boy..."

>be me
>#1 Son in the world award winner 36 years straight
>mommy knocks on the door of my dojo
>comes in and tells me she needs to change my sheets
>comes over to my bed and starts to roll all 416lbs of me to the side
>mommy is too weak to move me this week, after I broke her wrist falling on her the last time
>she apologizes for bothering me, that my sheets, while crusted with poopoo and my love stuff, can wait to be washed
>now what mommy is gone, I pull the loli doujin from under my thigh folds
>squirt out white peepee
>rub it into the bed
>return to my slumber

>washateria
I can't tell if this was made up because it sounds funny or if there's actually a laundromat/laundry service called that somewhere.
Either way, 9/10

>>34799176
It's a common name for laundromats in the Southern US.

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>sisters birthday last week
>her and her friends are having a party downstairs
>she begged my mom to let her do it somewhere else, but my mom said that she would make sure I wouldnt bother her and her friends
>she is 15 and her friends are around the same age
>all her friends are vapid cunts and I dont want to risk losing my virginity to anyone but my 10/10 virgin dream girl so I decide to stay in my room
>just finished watching a couple episodes of mlp
>those qt ponies always make me parched
>sneak past mother and go downstairs into the kitchen to grab another two liter mountain dew
>I crawl on the floor like a snake so I can slither by them without them see me
>their slut senses must have picked up on the fact that Im only wearing my cum-crusted undies
>they start to leave the kitchen revolted
>out of the corner of my eye I see the most beautiful semen demon you an imagine
>pig tails
>short shorts
>no make up
>she couldnt have been older than 12
>literally perfect
>I run over to her and grab her to take her into my room
>she starts screaming when i put my hands on that soft pale skin
>all the girls seem really scared
>lol. like I would be tainted by their gaping cunts
>i hiss at them and drag this beute up the stairs by the root of her hair
>dad must have heard the screaming and came to see what was happening
>right before I get into my room he hits me in the back of my head with a closed fist
>"anon bad!" he screams
>i drop the girl, turn and hiss at him.
>barely make it into my room with my life

Didnt get any sweet loli puss, but mom and dad got a visit from the police with the girls parents. kek. those sluts wont be coming back anytime soon

>>34799452
Hot. Really, really hot.

>>34795184
you did the right thing anon, your mommie is very lucky to have a boy as kind as you, most wouldn't even think to put her on the couch!

>>34798994
>"I c-can't... we don't have any...
I got so furious just reading that bitches whiny excuses, good on you for showing her who's in charge though. I assume she made you the tendie special sundae after she cleaned up?

>>34799980
Seems like he made a pretty good sundae himself ;^)

>>34799452
why did your father hit you ???
did he want the loli for himself?
selfish bastard !

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>wake up to my room of piss jugs and shit bottles
>first thing I do in the morning is check my gbp
>saved up enough good boy points to buy a steam card
>crawl out of my Teen Titans Go blanket (I got it from Santa instead of coal for being a good boy)
>rip off page of my gbp chart and hobble downstairs
>mummy cooking me a breakfast of tendies
>"mummy mummy! I saved up enough good boy points to get a steam card!"
>"let me see that my special little boy. You've been so good these past few weeks! Here are your chicken tenders."
>fucking normie cunt, who calls them chicken tenders
>eat my mountain of tendies then get into the car
>mummy starts to drive
>suddenly get motion sick
>"mummy I don't feel very good"
>puke all over the back of her car, tendie flakes everywhere
>oh my god! -10 gbp. We are going back to the house now
>what the fuck you stupid bitch I was good all month for that steam card
>was going to buy Sakura Swim Club with it
>get back to the house
>enact plan of revenge
>mummy goes to sleep
>pick up shit jugs with caution, pull out mummy's space heater and place the shit jugs with it next to her bed
>20 min later
>shit bottles explode
>hot poop splatters everywhere
>mummy gets plastic shard and poop-juice in her eye
>has to go to the hospital
>doctor said its infected and has to be removed
>mummy now looks like nick fury
fucking normie bitch that's what you get for taking away my gbp

>>34794293
MRGA more tendies stories

>>34794482
How new are you?
These started on R9k a few years ago.
Lurk moar

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>>34794175
I got one that's even worse than that:

>Be me
>Am European

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>be a 27 year old NEET
>wake up at 4PM and roll out of my racecar bed
>piss jugs are all full, have to use the toilet like some subhuman normie
>waddle downstairs to find mummy for my wakey-wakey tendies and bakey
>lights off, nobody there
>there is a note on the refrigerator
>"Pumpkin, your new daddy Leroy and I have gone to the movies for the afternoon I made some of your favorite chicken tenders, just heat them up in the microwave if you get hungry for num-nums. Love you, Mom"
>fucking cunt has let my tendies get cold and mushy
>and she expects me to heat them up myself like a slave
>she will fucking learn today
>change out of my cloth diaper into a disposable one and hit the road
>spend the entire walk to the cinema filling my diapey with poo poo
>arrive at the theater parking lot and coat myself in a thin layer of pee pee and poo
>brace myself and enter the lobby
>let losse my battle cry
>RRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>"MY PRECIOUS TENDIES HAVE GONE TO WASTE, NOW MY POOPY YOU SHALL TASTE"
>pull handfuls of poop out of my diaper and fling them at random
>staff tries to stop me but I am too quick and too slippery
>entire venue is being evacuated
>navigate my way to 50 Shades Darker
>mummy and new daddy are in the front row
>covered in poo and pee, two steaming loads in each hand
>mummy's face is a mixture of shock and indescribable terror
>walk slowly towards her while chanting "...tendies...tendies...tendies..."
>our eyes are locked
>as if from far away I hear new daddy say "ayo wut tha fuck this nigga-"
>cease my low chanting with a final "TENDIEEEEES" and smash the handfuls of rancid diarrhea onto either side of her head
>bring my piss-soaked face right up to hers
>her ears are filled with my poo, eardrums are ruptured, and eyes are nearly blinded by a mixture of tears and more poo
>say very slowly and clearly
>"Don't you ever fuck with my chicky tendies again"

And the best part is the dumb whore was too scared to even take away any of my good boy points

>>34794175
what the hell are tendies?

>>34798018
>lewding your waifu
REEEEEEEEEE

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>be me
>be 350lb normie slayer
>wake up at 7 in the evening
>tummy growls for tendies and mountain dew
>screech at the top of my lungs
>then proceed to yell
>"THE NORMIE SLAYER HAS AWAKENED NOW HE MUST FEAST ON TENDIES"
>hear mommy sobbing
>I didn't ask for crying I asked for tendies dumb normie bitch
>"THE NORMIE SLAYER SHALL NOT WAIT, FOR HE IS A GOOD BOY"
>still hear mommy crying like a little bitch
>Thats it
>grab my pee and poo jar
>lay on my skateboard (my big bones are too heavy for me to walk)
>surf down the stairs and get a big owie
>now i start crying
>"MOMMY THIS IS YOUR FAULT YOU LAZY CUNT NOW YOUR BIG BOY IS HURT"
>sobbing gets louder
>bitch doesn't even come to give me kisses
>normie slayer is enraged
>stand up because of my anger strength
>knock down mommy's door
>bitch is screaming in fear
>YOU HAVE BEEN A BAD MOMMY, NOW YOU WILL HAVE TO PAY THE PRICE, PREPARE FOR THE PEE POO DICE"
>take off my diaper throw it at her face
>spin around and shit and piss everywhere
>mommy is begging for mercy
>too late bitch
>throw pee and poo bottle on her
>headshot
>glass breaks on her
>she's knocked out cold
>pick up a glass shard and stab her nipples
>she's bleeding from her head
>go to the freezer and grab all the tendies and stuff them in my pockets
>climb back up stairs to my dojo
>watch mlp for 5 hours while eating frozen tendies
>finally decide to pick up the phone and call the popo b/c I'm a good boy
>hear the popo sirens approaching
I hope they take away my abusive mommy and give me a new tendie vendor

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Its a sad epoch of /r9k/ history, knowing that reddit is here to steal the best greentext stories to repost for redditpoints

>>34800987
Chicken strips you mong.

I wonder how this mental defect went over in, say, the iron age?

As much as y'all like tendies stories I had a friend like this. Best friend in fact. I used to laugh all that shit off as just him being funny, but looking back the dude was/is fucked up.

Here's the most recent.
>he spergs out on dad because dad gets mad his son is a neet that doesn't do chores and eats all the food
>moves in with mom
>plays video games for about 8 hours a day and watches anime for the other 16
>sleeps every 3rd or 4th day
>says shit like "oh mommy! Dank you for da cookies om nom nom hee hee"
>eventually mom gets sick of his shit
>moves two states over to live with our other friend's aunt because she's the bleeding heart liberal type (wants him to go to school and become a good person)
>It's been two years and all he does is work at a wal mart (failed 2 semesters in a row because lmao anime time)
>doesn't even pay rent
>other friend hates him now because he's taking advantage of his aunt
>last we visited he was singing along to some moe shit loud enough to be heard through the walls

He's still there too. Can't belive people like that really exist. It's one thing to be a turbo autist neet living with your parents, but to burden someone you're not even related to?

>>34802324
Aw yeah, that's the sweet life.

>>34802707
Not really, he was still "good" with women.

>>34802881
The. Sweet. Life.

>>34794175
High quality content.
Original thoughts are for nerds, bucko.

>>34795648
How can anyone see this and think Hitler was 100% wrong?

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topkek anon!!! kekekekeekekekkeekek Osama is god

>>34800772
good on ya, I would never habe been able to make the walk to the cinema. you should look into having your mom get you a litlle rascal.