How do I break the news to my parents that I'm going to

Why do you need to tell them anything? Do as you will.

>>34787910
just sit them down in your living room / kitchen table or whatever and just flat out say your a failure who won't amount to anything above average you'll be a failure by societal standards
and everything they believed or hoped for was a petty dream believed in hopes you wouldn't off yourself or just give up at an early age but instead you just became a colossal failure.

feel free to change it up but i think the core message is strong enough that it will shut down any "BUT ANON YOU CAN DO ANYTHING"
arguments

well hopefully by "mediocre" you don't mean permanent NEET, because that's more like rock-bottom loserdom than mediocre.

mediocre is at least getting some mindless, 30k a year paper pushing dead end job.

just present it as great news to your parents, say you love what you do, etc.

>>34787965
I'll use your approach, but I'm not going to be a failure from any objective standard of measurement.

I'll be graduating college and capable of actually getting a job, I just won't be a big deal like they imagine I should be.

Normies seem to think that if you're not trying to wagekek your way towards the stars you are doing something wrong

>>34787910
What, are you like, Asian or something?

>>34788014
No, I'm half-white half Jewish

This won't be original

Sometimes I wish I has shitty parents because if I did I wouldn't care what they think about me. But because they were always good parents I feel bad about letting them down because I'll be single forever and have a mediocre job for the rest of my life.

It fucking kills me everytime my dad says something about grandkids.