Anyone here ever harnessed their autist powers to roast the fuck

I always fail in "real time" situations but I've gotten a few back by busting out their car and house windows etc. I never got caught because I wait months after the incident to actually get revenge.

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>>34787349
Yep actually

Yes. When i get drunk i will fucking ruin people. Normies call me savage.

>be too drunk
>get removed from strip club
>some trendy queers in line laugh. one fatty laughs and says 12 year olds arent allowed in clubs
>tell her neither are cows so she shouldnt be laughing
>carl the cuck looking bf says something i dont remember
>tell him its not a gay club so they should both just fuck off
Apparently i sounded like i was gonna fucking murder them. I get intense when drunk

i just send people who piss me off a box of adult diapers, or sign them up for a subscription for a magazine. married guys get barely legal or the advocate.

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>>34787349
There was this semi popular girl in 6th grade who always made fun of me.
I roasted the fuck out of her and got everyone laughing, she left me alone after that.

felt good

>>34789873
Lol those things would make me happy and if the dudes not a cuck it shouldnt matter if he gets cool magazines

accidnetally revealed my power level at school when they published some op eds supporting political violence

yelled at passing students for about an hour about cultural marxism and the cancer that is postmodernism

some brahs came up to me and asked if I was doin "performance art" and some dumb black girl tried to sass me like "UHM I BET UR A TRUMP SUPPORTER RITE?" recording me on facetime to her BF. dumb roastie bitch

>>34787349


Some fat stacy:

"Your acne is disgusting. Ever heard of proactiv?"
I replied,
"Your fat fucking body is disgusting. Ever heard of a treadmill?"

she shut the fuck up after that. Felt GOOD.

He said that i never leave my home so i replied that he never leaves the kitchen calling him a fat fuck shortly after, not much but thats the best ive got

I have harnessed it in military. I can trample on anyone but I do so only when talking to people that piss me off.

Might get you in trouble without care but it makes for some memories.

>>34787349
So, this is my friend having a crush on a girl. He's a fat autist. One night we are on a party, and suddenly her crush and his friend (nu male) are making out drunk. That autist stupid friend of mine punched the guy and then the started hitting the wall, with power. His hands were soakin in blood, scars all over them. I said OK let's go home. He refused to do so, layed on the floor, put on an eminem song screaming the lyrics. I was so confused, started thinking a bit and just went home by myself.

I'm actually really good at it from time to time. My brain is totally scattershot, but when it works it works wonders. Made a few girls cry in High School for picking on me, always became friends with some people way above my social league because of my sense of humour (they'd ditch me after they discovered what a sperg I was tho). I'd roast fucking everything and everyone all the time, playing the odds. I was an alcoholic throughout high school also, so that probably helped.

>>34790076
maybe she was just trying to help you lol

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>be biracial
>like trump more than hillary
>debating with classmates
>stacy says that someone like "me" shouldn't like him
>autismo-reeeee at her
>leaves classroom, sick next day
>i was the quiet kid and me going on a politival rage rant on her frightened her
>libcuck roastie group scared of me

Beta uprising was commenced that day. Was as happy as a child getting that awesome toy for Christmas when Trump won.

>>34790345
This. I went to a boot-camp prison with drill instructors and learned some shit about blowing people the fuck out, plus learning how to diss people too while sounding like a nigger.

>>34790915
Really made you think, huh?

>>34791009
The gift that keeps on winning.

>>34790076
I have long hair, always got picked on for it. One day Stacy strode up to me with her gaggle of followers, laughing at me as they usually do, to talk about how I could sell my hair for money. I replied "why don't you go and sell yourself on the street, you fucking whore?" and she burst into tears.

Felt John fucking Goodman, tell you what. Women are vicious cunts.

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>>34787349
>stacy sister
"anon my my iPod is frozen, you're good with computers. fix it!"
>nope.jpg
>parents tell me to of it
>ugh
>make the fakest looking iPod repair program ever on MS paint
>give it a green bar that says "fixing progress"
>looks like shit
>make it full screen on her pc and plug in her iPod
>tell her not to touch anything or it will disrupt the program
>don't hear from her for hours
>assume she didn't fall for it and is currently plotting her revenge
>like 4 hours pass and she comes into my room
>herewego.flv
"anon, the progress bar hasn't moved in hours i think the program is broken"
>i laugh until i can't breathe

She had literally been staring at a shitty ms paint picture for hours thinking it was fixing her iPod.

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>>34791009
tfw more non white people voted for Trump than many Republican candidates prior.

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>ITT

Cept Chads instaed of Aussies.

Yeah I did.

>be sophomore year
>girl comes up to me
>"anon why don't you cut your hair?"
>pause
>reply
>"why don't you cut your face?"

BOOM GOT THAT BITCH GOOD

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>>34791009
orgioliozonogojs

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>Co-workers start talking about HMO's and PPO's
>Can you share your healthcare program with me? If I had a PPO I'd share it with you all night long
>Everyone begins to laugh
>When the laughter dies down I reply
>Is that the response you get when you show people your PPO?
>Laughter intensifies
People at work don't mince words with me anymore.