Who /mischief/ here? >11PM >Annoying sisters boyfriend

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>get told to wash the dishes
>don't

>>34780600
>Chad stays at your house longer
>sister gives Chad a blowjob to cheer him up while he waits for a repair company

Bravo OP

>spending the night at gfs house
>drunk as fuck getting ready for bed
>end up covering the countertop with water as I was washing my face and brushing my teeth
>her Chad brother goes into the bathroom and yells "WHY THE FUCK IS THERE WATER EVERYWHERE?"
>go to sleep with a huge grin on my face

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>need to cross the street
>don't go to the crosswalk to do it

>>34780652
>Chad
>calling a repair company
Chads change their own tires.

>>34780600
God. I need you in my life.

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>GPS tells me to take exit 157
>take exit 158 instead

>>34780658

Why don't you clean up after yourself? My normie roommate does this, it pisses me off

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>playing Simon Says
>"Simon says touch your feet."
>touch head instead

>>34780671
My dad is a chad, most of my family are chads, hell I've even been friends with chads.

The majority of them do not know how to change a tire

>ask mom if she's cooking tonight
>she's making steak if i want any
>say yes please then go run errands
>mfw getting BK on my way home

mummy's steak dinner can wait in the fridge

THIS big boy wants burgers for dinner!

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>bleach jug says "do not drink"
>drink it

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>>34780600
>Be ugly as sin and emit a sperg aura
>Buy a fancy box of chocolates
>Ask the cashier if they make gift packages
>Leave

>Cashier will wonder how some fuck like me managed to get a girlfriend
>I'm a KHV and will cry myself to sleep while eating the whole box alone in bed

>>34780658
You sound like the Chad retard while the brother seems like the poor robot who needs to cope with you.

>>34780652
Who cares if shes sucks his dick. Shes probably sucked over 60 dicks in her life I bet. She's fucking normie scum and I have to endure her shit again since she returned from university.

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>be at friend's house
>need to shit
>shit out huge log
>clogs the toilet
>wipe
>sneak out of house and go home

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>MSDS says to not mix bleach and ammonia
>mix them together to make the ultimate cleaner

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>electronic says to use AA batteries
>use AAA instead

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>tire says to inflate to 40psi
>pump up to 80psi instead

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>told to wake up
>don't

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>recipe says to preheat oven to 350 degrees
>preheat it to 351 instead

>>34781047
PLAYING WITH FIRE

originally

>girl tells me to cum inside
>don't
>pull out and jizz on the floor instead

>>34781047
>implying 1 degree increments are possible

>food instructions say to make sure it's over 180 degrees to be safe
>take temp
>it's only 160
>eat it anyway

>therapist tells me to take my meds and work on improving my life
>don't

>someone replies to your thread and tells you to kill yourself
>don't

>>34780600

>wagecuck tells me to have a nice day
>i dont

>>34780624
>>34780600
>>34780658
>>34780663
>>34780718
>>34780754
>>34780785
>>34780789
>>34780805
>>34780900
>>34780936
>>34780958
>>34780982
>>34781011
>>34781047
>>34781098
>>34781126
>>34781139
>>34781179
>>34781208

the absolute mad man!

this was an original comment, there was no comment like this before and none other like this in the future.

>buy water bottle
>put lemon juice in it instead

>>34780671
Chads are not the manly men of yesteryear anon, they actually put in work and were good lads
The modern chad is a degenerate normie with not important skills to speak of

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>>34780624
Go to hell.
That's not cool.

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>>34780600
>buying some food next door
>cashier says "have a good day"
>don't

>>34781663
nice stolen mischief

>>34780718
Traveling on the GSP anon?

>>34780900
This reminds me of the post about the kid who took a shit in his friend's house but the toilet was clogged and he threw it out the window and his friend asked him "did you throw shit out the window"

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>work pizza delivery
>get stiffed on a card with a debit card slip
>write my own tip
everytime
Tacky rich filth

>>34782401
You're literally so entitled you're breaking the law to steal money from people.

>>34782467
what are you going to do about it?
dont stiff the guy that brings you your food day or night in any weather condition
If you cant afford to tip then why the fuck are you eating pizza?
>You can walk to Jack in the Crack and get a full stomach for under 5$

>>34782563
Pizza is not a luxury food.
Poor people eat pizza too retard.

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>>34782563
>mfw I live in Europe and I don't have to give a cent more to those entitled poor fags that deliver me my pizza like some losers

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>>34780600
>sister's friends come over
>hide the entire time until I am absolutely certain I will not run into them
>can finally piss and have a drink of water after my throat felt like the gobi desert

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>>34782586
I work at a finer pizza restaurant and serve people that make much more than your shit job at McCucks
People just trying to get by such as myself get a 5$ "hot and ready" pizza from Little Sneezers
Not over priced "finer" pizza
>>34782642
joke is on you muhammad

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>Told not to touch boat
>Touch it anyway

>>34783539
>joke is on you muhammad

>implying that I'm a poor immigrant
>he's the one delivering pizza like a poor immigrant
I might order one, but I don't think the campus guards would let you in. I think they have orders to keep the poorfags out.

>>34780658
>spending the night at gfs house
>gf
Woah buddy

>>34780600
>was playing on steam
>sisters jew-chad bf comes over
>whole house smells like pot after they smoke inside and thought nobody could tell
>they start fucking like rabbits
>my sister is moaning like a banshee
>after the went to the shower to clean up and round two
>sneak into my sisters room
>whipped my ass with their bong
fuck you john, enjoy my asshole

>>34783618
Before you start to REEEEEEEE, I am single now. This story was from a few years ago.

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Never forget: The ULTIMATE act of mischief!

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>>34783582
In AMERICA
Pizza delivery can usually make double that of minimum wage if you live in the city
Obviously that job would be piss poor in Europastan

>>34783900
That's because your minimum wage is so low that you have to live on tips like a beggar, anon.

>>34782287

Wow, i just yelp-laughed so loud my wife thinks I am weird now.

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>be me
>smoking pot alone in my room at my apartment when my mom isnt home
>go out for a cigarette on balcony and sit down since im super tall
>neighbor kids are playing outside
>i got headphones on i dont give a fuck
>weedsmoke paranoia makes me think every car is my mom coming home
>nope just some random car that the kids run up to and start talking
>boop my head up and look down as they look in my direction
>layigng flat and still on the balcony
>take head phone out and hear something that sounded like "he's smoking weed"
>flick my cigarette off the side of the balcony
>slide the door open then crash into the plastic blinds
>close the door
>get get on the floor
>everybody walk the dinosaur

>>34781260
anon shut the fuck up nobody likes you

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>cashier tells me to have a nice day
>purposely have a bad day

>someone asks if I'm okay
>say I am
>I'm not

>donwload pirate music

>>34783539
Pizza's still pizza no matter how autistic you are

>>34781260
fuck off le reddit man