Anyone else have a death wish? I keep making unnecessary risks

I am basically neutral on the topic

I have nothing to stick around for but nothing to die over either, I just sit about fucking around on 4chan all day, I could die tomorrow or do this for a thousand years and not really care

>>34742950
I can feel you on the lack of investment, my man.

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>tfw going through the most depressive episode I've had since I was in high school
>all care towards making healthy choices out the window
>binge drink, eat like shit all day, sleep for 10+ hours and don't go to bed until 6 AM
>complete apathy means I finally have the courage to try out my fucked up fetishes (urethral sounding and scatplay) when jerking off

The risks can sometimes feel good man.

>>34743207
The risks I take are more visceral; I walk around the shit areas of town hoping for a mugger or meth head to try and kill me, just so I can go out swinging. None have had the balls to try and just get it over and done with, though.

For me its weird I managed to beat depression and yet I still havent found a definitive reason to live, while im not always thinking about ending my life I dont see it as a bad thing either. Maybe ill change my mind if I find some reason but its unkikely after 10+ years of looking for one unsuccesfully.

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>>34742860
Fuck yes. I make dangerous turns all the time in front of semi trucks. My car also sometimes takes a long time to get up to speed, so I'm hoping it hiccups during one such dangerous turn.

It would be so fucking nice to die and have it be an accident, as far as everybody's concerned.

>>34743247
I have always had this weird fantasy too hoping someone would try to rob me or something so I could just go all out on them. Kinda psychotic I guess.

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>>34742860
There's better ways of living your shitty life

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>>34743247
God.
I get this.

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>>34742950
I'm in the same boat as this anon albeit a tad bit different.

I'm so deep into the abyss at this point that I've become a pessimist in the sense that I'll do whatever I feel like considering not only do I have nothing to lose or live for but, you only get one life, so let me just go out on a fucking whim or take major risks for the hell of it.

I'm completely devoid of feeling embarrassment at this point too. I'll do whatever is asked of me

>anon slap {insert_stacy}'s ass

>ok sure thing

It's helped in a few odd ways though.

>>34743334
Tried joining the army, not going to happen. Fuck me, it's all i ever wanted to do with my life too.
>>34743282
Not even "going all out", I just want someone to try and actually kill me. I need to feel that life or death rush again.

>>34743357
>>34743247
Try to fix your situation? No lol! lets just try to get ourselves killed and continue wasting space

>>34743371
Why didnt you get in?

>>34743393
I'm trying to overturn some medical complications right now, but I don't think it's going to work out.
>>34743373
There's not much I can do to improve my situation: I just don't really feel like I have much of a reason to live.
Then again, you're more than likely just trying to be a passive aggressive shit.

>>34743431
Both these replies are to me.

Hope the army works out, even if it doesn't there are other things you can do with yourself mate.

Just get some hobbies off the computer like gardening or some shit

Go to the gym become /fit/

>>34743472
>Go to the gym become /fit/
I did, (for a while, though my back is currently fucked and my progress is impeded)

>>34743486
study teaching become a programmer
study film
It actually doesnt matter what you do. you just gotta pick the thing you hate the least and do that more often

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>>34742860
this is me, i started to climb these things

>>34743529
Sounds fun, how is it?

>>34743549
its mental but there really isnt a big risk

>>34743686
Wouldn't mind giving it a go, but I'd have to break into a construction site to do so, which might be a pain in the ass.

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>>34742860
Don't care to stop drinking, so going to drink my life away.

I'm peaceful man, I've had an interesting life, a good life. Incredibly hard at times but good. I've got nobody to live for.

I feel like there's something wrong with me and I'm not pushing to get it investigated. My blood tests were weird and doctor was like "dunno lol" and so I was thinking like why care if she doesn't care.

That said, there's still things that I'd like to do and I have curiosity in life. But there's nothing I'm hell bent on anymore.

>>34743529
Theres one next to my apartment but in thus country the cops will be there 5 min after you enter the premises, theres motion detecting lights and cameras and shit