>*knock knock* >"Hi Anon, we're giving out free

>>34733269
How many times do you want to fuck me?

"I'll take a couple. Thanks!"

>jerk off into them

>>34733269
They are all pinned by nail right?

>>34733269
Which ones would fit my fucking tiny micro virgin dick?
Also could you show me how to use one? I never put one on before
Why are you calling the cops? You're the one that brought a bucket of condoms to my doorstep.
Okay that was a fast restraining order. Huh, I have to move out now since you're standing in front of my house? Okay.

>>34733269
"i'm fine thanks, I have my own"

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>>34733269
Oh, just one....
*grabs her and pulls her into dorm room*

>>34733269
>"That's up to you, babe."
>*winks*

>>34733290
This is the only correct answer

jffjdjjdkd

Oi I'm gon av me a royal wank innit m8

I honestly have no idea what I would do in this situation. I can't think of any course of action that doesn't make me look retarded.

>>34733582
Just say "cool, thanks" and take three.

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>>34733269
"All of them!"
>proceed to melt the condoms and then sell the material to corporate condom manufacturing companies
>get cash
>buy hookers and escorts to collect condoms from their clients
>repeat the process and sell them for twice the price of the hookers and escorts.
>create an entire condom farm and rinse and repeat until im filthy fucking rich
>mfw

>>34733290
this was me freshman year, then they stopped providing free condoms altogether a few days later because people were supposedly putting them on everybody's door knobs in the halls

>>34733269
"A lot"
>Reach in and grab between 3 and 5 while maintaining eye contact and winking with a slightly creepy grin before I turn around

>>34733582
you just take a handful (3-4?) and say thanks

>>34733582
Invite her in for a drink
And roofie rape duh

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>>34733269
I'll have two number 9s a number 9 large a number 46 with extra rubber and a hot XL Sized

>>34733582
see
>>34733718

you could quite easily make a quick buck off of this dude.
if you get something for free, your always guaranteed a profit if you successfully sell it off

>>34733269
I don't need condoms when having sex with a little girl

>how many do you need?

attention

>>34733269
no thanks that's haram

>>34733269
Nah I'm cool, my gf is on the pill.

protip: my gf is actually just a girl that occasionally comes over and passes out at my place and I do what I want with her ;_;

>>34733269
just take a handful
taking too much or just one or a specific amount is autistic
just fucking grab some and say 'thanks'

>>34733269

>"do you have any lollipops instead?"

"No thanks I only do it raw"

Laugh, and close the door.

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>>34733269
./ autist mode
say nothing;
pick one of each color using crab_no_jutsu with the finger and thumb of my right hand and hold my other hand up so she can see i'm unarmed;
smile and nod as if too let her know i'm done;
say "huldaa blease handsome" and grab the basket with my crab_ no-jutsu technique;
proceed to take one of the non colored ones and read the text on it while keeping it inside the basket hovering my head above;
take it and struggle opening it for 40 secs;
smell it;
make a disgusted face and throw it back in the basket;
keep doing it until she makes me stop or all the condoms are finished;
shout "TIME IS OF ESSENCE" and slam the door;
make fifi's out of the colored ones and pretend they are a mlp of matching color;

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>>34733269

>take all of them so normies cannot have any

>>34733269
"Yeah sure ill take one or two"

>put in backpack
>never use

>>34734469
like chad gives a fuck if he has a condom

>>34733269
>How many do you need?
how much time do we have?

>>34734550

Well there is always a chance that him not wearing a condom will fuck him up for life

>>34733269
I'd say "Zero" and shut the door in her face

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>>34733269
Oh, no thanks. I've got my own.

>>34734579
This would unironically work for a chad

>>34733269
>I'll take as many as possible
Proceed to fill them with water and use them to waterbomb normies from my balcony

To everyone opening door in the first place
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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>>34733269
>"Hand me the entire container, sweetcheeks."
>"And keep the change."

I would just cum inside some and leave them hanging on some girls door with a note:

>"Thanks Stacy"
>"Sincerely Chad"
>Proceed to watch their reaction

>>34733269

How many bowls do you have?

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>>34733269
>takes a few so she doesn't know i am beta
>let it expire in the corner or use it for no-mess fap

>>34733269
Sorry I only take free drugs and candy from strangers.

>>34733829
This is the only correct answer
/thread

>>34733269
Does this actually happen???? Do dorms provide free condoms...
Man, that makes me feel like shit. I'm never going to experience that shit

>>34734908
Mine did. Had big baskets of them on each floor of the dorms.

> uh, idk, i've been going through a dry spell and I don't know many girls here. But I guess I should take some?
> how much do you think I'd need?

and then procede with the convo and maybe take her on a date

>>34735021
this is the kind of autism i like to see

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>>34733829
my original nigger

>>34735050
the optimistic autism, the best kind

"Can I just have the bowl?"

>dump condoms on floor in front of her, keep the bowl and go back inside

Gotta watch out for me. I'm a wild card!

Give me the bucket and no one gets shot.

>>34734199
Only acceptable response