Why are japanese-style relationships SO FUCKIN' HARD?

I spend about 10 hours a week studying good ol nipponese and hope to be in your position one day. Inb4 weeaboo I don't watch anime

>>34710466
i mean, you could start befriending japanese women online

the problem is actually finding japanese women online. it's not like korean women which are extremely easy to catch.

seriously r9k? this is an amazing discussion topic and you're throwing it away

>It's hard to explain

try. I'm curious what you mean

>>34711481
First off, let us discuss the difficulties of japan's social system

>Highest social standards in the planet
>Most educated females in the nation, filtering out idiots
>Most red-pilled and nationalistic females filtering out anybody trying to convert a japanese girl into some other culture
>Sadistic work-force culture that means things like friendships and relationships are exclusive to masochists that never sleep, or people with the perfect paying job that gives them just enough free time to have a life

Once you get past these, you get to the fun part. Japan's social system is heavily tied to respect. In a country wherein everyone is collectivist and works for eachother and the "individual" is dead, how are you expected to be able to have a loving relationship with a female?

Many foreigners utilize the "foreigner card" for this aspect, japan forgives foreigners for violating japan's traditional social rules, but if you were to follow the social rules, going from friend to lover requires some serious mindgames and mental gymnastics, on top of being a giant timesink

In america, you might have 100 or so friends. In Japan, you'll only have maybe 10. Why? Because japanese friends are a huge, huge timesink. We're talking co-workers that DEMAND you spend time with them after your shift, unpaid, even if you don't like them, or you lose your job.

>>34711458
Not our fault you give us literally nothing to go on and it's not like there's many experienced or knowledgable here

>>34711458
Why is it? Are we talking about herbivore males and dreadful harpie women? It makes sense that Japs don't fancy it and would rather just spend their bux on waifus.

So what you're saying is that if I am a white foreigner I can muh dick in japan and have sex with tons of japanese girls?

>>34711632
depends, what country are you from, and are you willing to learn japanese?

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>>34711578

>In america, you might have 100 or so friends

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>>34711627
I had a woman just tell me "I respect your kind and gentle side"

I don't get that shit in the west. Once you experience the kindness of a japanese woman first-hand you never go back. Ever.

It's extremely difficult, masochistic, and absolutely insane to attempt, but the payoff is worth all the suffering. I'm still going to bitch about the suffering though.

>>34711704
>I had a woman just tell me "I respect your kind and gentle side"

Hold up a second, are you telling me anime is real or something?

>>34711663
well, the standards for "being a friend" are pretty low in america

in america someone you talk to once a month could be considered a friend

>>34711761
what? you know anime is based loosely off how japanese people act in real life, right?

anime is exaggerated but the foundations are still accurate.

>>34711704
I find it hard to believe they don't get wet for the ore MC types. Japs are all so meek, surely someone decisive and powerful would make them weak at the knees.

>>34711831
True im jumping to conclusions.

Anyway tell us about this suffering you mentioned sounds intresting.

>>34711858
Emotional strength trumps physical strength in Japan

If you're determined in a mental way and have clear goals, you''ll get a gf.

>>34711890
>Tell us about this suffering

Hm. I've been talking to this girl long-distance for 2 years using a website.

I still don't have her skype address so sometimes i'm waiting literally 2 weeks for a reply, but when I finally get that reply she's acting all cute and nice and it's worth the wait.

Asking for personal information/contact information in Japan is extremely taboo, and when it comes to a female, you have to wait until you're really, really close before you can ask for it.

I'm about to ask for her details next month before the site we're using on closes down for good. I expect it'll go well.

>>34711964

jesus how is that worth it? I got better shit to do than to invest several years into some girl, japanese or not, before I can bone her.

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>>34711964
Well sure, stoicism and a powerful will. But surely people like pic related is the optimal Nip chad

>>34710418
>>34711458
I really have no thoughts on or experience with the subject, but I am interested to read the input that people have on the matter.

Good thread. /r9k/ needs more threads like this that aren't completely fucking asinine.

>>34712007
>007

Checked, Mr. Bond. Did you think I was fucking around when I said japanese friends were a "huge" time investment?

The difference is, you actually have fun with your friends in Japan.

The way their social system works actually benefits your self-esteem hugely when having fun with friends. It's not like in the west where you're not really enjoying yourself when smoking it up, there's a certain psychological effect japanese does to your brain.

It's hard to explain, really. But what I can say is that it is indeed worth the suffering.

>>34712071
>it's a "masculine jap"

that's no longer considered relevant for japanese women

>>34712212
Than what is the japanese equivalent of chad? I find it hard to believe chad doesnt exist in japan.

>>34712163

rather be a hikiko desu

>>34712250
>I find it hard to believe chad doesnt exist in japan

It really doesn't.. Chad is a product of individualist culture, where people are allowed to express themselves freely with little penalty

Japan doesn't take that shit. It's a conformist culture designed to weed out chads and throw them to the streets.

>>34712163

is that why in anime people get really fucking emotional when talking about how they cherish their friends and give a huge speech about how much they mean to them?

>>34710418
can you explain to me why (if you are japanese or living there) , almost every anime ive seen always portrays the male protaganist as some shy, weak, submissive , spineless pussy and the women are usually extroverted, loud, bold, aggressive, etc? Is it really like this in japanese culture or does all of this stem from some weird cuck fantasies? I truly beleive that this dynamic has taken hold here in the west and is firmly planted in ppl who watch anime.

So you're Japanese or what, OP?

Why not pick up qt weeb girls of other countries?

>>34712360
To be fair, the bold ones in chink cartoons are usually broken and submissive on the inside

>>34712360

not OP but I think men all around the world love really assertive women so I'm not sure it's just a chink fantasy and I don't think jap women are actually like that.

>>34712428
t.nigger with mommy issues

>>34712163
>>34712348
First, anime is exagerrated to the extreme. Most anime is for children, to teach them things about japanese culture just like western cartoons like Spongebob or Rocko's Modern Life taught kids about work culture.

But, now you're going to start realizing that children are taught at an early age through TV and their friends that yes, friends are fucking important.

This is why Japan is a collectivist society. Everyone is together, and nobody is alone.

>>34710418
so dont go for japanese relationships?
continue on the white race you fucking traitor

>>34712332
I heard about the saying a nail that stick out gets hammered down but i dont really understand how it works in day to day life. Like how exactly should you act and what happens when you ostracized for not conforming?

basically how bad do things get if you fuck it all up?

>>34712492
>basically how bad do things get if you fuck it all up?
posting on r9k all day and thinking you spent your day being productive

>>34711761
It's based off the culture that produces it, yes. Don't talk like they do in an anime. Lots of slang and casual speak. If you talk like that, you'll just be seen as super rude. Here a bunch of women naked together is seen as pornographic, there communal bathing is commonplace and there's nothing dirty about it.

However, it's been brought up recent anime is shit. To some extent, depending on what your are watching, it isn't realistic in the least bit. This is more common with moe shit then anything. Or you have female characters that more accurately represent a male in Japan.

>>34712332
>>34712458
But those heroes are all about freedom and resisting the authority of corrupt governments and punching the Tenryuubito and shit. Surely the average person is a cuck and the rare individual with the force of personality to fight for what they believe in and become a powerful, stoic leader is rare and impressive.

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>>34712458
>Everyone is together, and nobody is alone.
If you're trying to make me feel some kind of hope you should probably stop now. Aren't Japanese declining in birth rates and inclining in suicides?

>>34712360
The reason is that you watch shit harem animes rather than gar and battle shounen like a real man.

>>34712492
You can't show emotion. Happiness and all of those good feels, sure, you can show them. Getting overly excited, expressing that you are sad, or showing anger is extremely frowned upon. Everyone is expected to be friendly and have a generally calm demeanor from my understanding. Your physical appearance is pretty important too. Himouto! Umaru-chan actually sort of shows this? You'll notice she's a dirty weeb, but she'll at least moderately dress up to make a simple late night run to the gas station? That kind of reflects on this. It's not very appropriate to smell, be sweaty, or unkempt. Even if you are only out in town on a 15 minute run, it's expected you put some effort to look presentable, both male and female.

>>34712360
>can you explain to me why (if you are japanese or living there) , almost every anime ive seen always portrays the male protaganist as some shy, weak, submissive , spineless pussy and the women are usually extroverted, loud, bold, aggressive, etc?

Everyone is submissive in Japan. The men and the women are equally submissive.

Being dominant in Japan is something you really only see in the workplace. That shit doesn't fly in the streets.

As for why anime portrays women as dominant/aggressive, I can't say. To sell merchandise I guess?

>>34712515
>moe shit
Just stop.

>>34712492
>basically how bad do things get if you fuck it all up?

Do you want a serious answer?

Once you fall through the cracks in Japan, there is literally no coming back for you.

In the older generations like 20 years ago, you used to be able to "repent" to restore your social status, but now japanese people don't give a fuck about repetence anymore, if you fall through the cracks you're done, no retries.

There's an entire documentary on this shit, I can show you if you'd like. I probably still have it on my youtube watch history.

>>34712661
share the video originiblox

>>34712360
That's because a lot of men in Japan are weak and spineless. There's a lot of women going against the idea of being married by 25 or the "office flower" sort of mentality while the men are still prodding away at the salary man stereotype. It's especially common in the cities to see younger women kind of falling into this "go get them!" mentality. Think about the fashion, music, and club culture that's becoming more popular.

I'm not from Japan, but it does seem some of the girls are more boisterous then their male counterparts reading literature about society there.

>>34712661
Very interested, please do. I love a good doc. Might even put it on in Shipfeel this Saturday

>>34712529
It'll fix itself. The problem in japan's birth rate is that westernization really drove a nail in japanese culture that created a huge divide between the younger japanese and the older japanese.

However, now that the West is slowly forgetting about Japan, the urge for Japan to westernize is starting to dissipate.

Give it 10 years or so and birth rates will start to pick up again. Actually though, it's because of the birthrate that this is the perfect time to move to Japan. You have the best chance at getting laid in Japan now than literally any other time in history.

>>34712615
Do you have an issue with the term 'moe shit'?

>>34712661
please share, sounds interesting


orginalbloxxxxx

>>34711578
Sounds rad actually. Fuck having a gf, just have 10 bros for life that you hang out with 24/7.

>>34712776
>>34712776
>>34712731

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-R547pAUIA

Here you go. Here is what happens to "Chads" in Japan.

Give it a good watch.

Moral of this story is: When you come to Japan, you shut the fuck up, you conform to the social rules, and you don't fuck shit up.

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>>34712515
>Or you have female characters that more accurately represent a male in Japan.

Example(s)?

>>34712869
Thanks friend, will enjoy this.

>>34712869
Thank you, I have entertainment with my spaghetti.

>>34712661
What happens if you fall through the cracks you become a delinquent? im guessing you are treated like homless people are treated over here, just blanked by most poeple.

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koreans are stupid dog!

fuck koreans!

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>>34712867
if you're into bro culture, you should move to japan as soon as possible. the bro culture in japan is real.

my internet friend in japan shared with me his irl address and sent me a free gift for entering college, pic related

you don't get this shit with your steam friends

>>34711578
Japanese people are fucking stupid and that's why they're going to cease existing really soon. Same with Europe tbqh.

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>>34711578
>multiple people spend time with you multiple times a week
and you paint this as a negative?

>>34711799
I don't like this "anybody I know who is not my enemy counts as a friend" meme personally.

>>34712930
If you fall through the cracks in japan you won't get a job, might not get an apartment, and you literally live in net cafes.

I wish I was kidding. Please watch the documentary above. There is a culture in japan where people live literally live inside net cafes. That's what happens when you hit rock bottom. Say goodbye to your entire social career once you do that shit.

>>34712990
>tfw japanese will soon be obsolete
what language should I learn if I want to have a future anons

>>34713091
and now you notice the decline in western thinking and the fall of western society. this is why people like me who ARE INTERESTED in that shit are moving to Asia, where such social standards are still practiced.

Why are Japanese people such goofballs?

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>>34712881
Konata for one. Pretty much all your fighting genres including shows like Magical Girl Raising Project. (Although it could be argued some of the characters in Ikki Tousen are technically men albeit reincarnated as women.) A lot of your characters in Negima! Magister Magi fall under this. Think about how Tomoko's character contrasts with the characters in Princess Jellyfish. I'm not saying there isn't a lot of vacant stereotypical female characters that serve as nothing more then a pretty face, but there's a lot of characters that there personality would equally work if they were portrayed as men.

>>34712869
it pisses me off that they can say "i have stomach pains" while laughing. they're taught that they should fucking laugh and pretend it's not bad.

>>34713209
wait until you get to the part where you find out there's an actual japanese word to describe people who specifically die from being overworked

>>34713151
Your speaking it right now

You already know the only language you will ever need

The language of commerce

>>34713304
that one's a meme already, though it seems to be commonplace already.
also, what a semen demon
>>34713321
i'd rather speak something else besides english, if possible

>>34713346
You could learn Mandarin or Cantonese Chinese. Spanish and Portuguese are also used by a pretty large population. Most the others you should only learn based on an interest in actually going or learning about a specific country.

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>>34712990
japan will be saved by bbc just like europe

>>34713321
the flaws in the english language are starting to have their effect on western culture

the lack of gender-identification in the english language is constributing to the decline of the female gender identity in western society

while women are slowly becoming more like men in the west, that literally couldn't happen in japan because the japanese language has shit tons of safeguards against this from occuring. if you're looking for a society where women will always be women and nothing else, japan is your heaven.

>>34713346
you're falling for a meme if you think japanese is going to die in your lifetime.

Japan and japanese aren't going anywhere, anon.

>>34713410
>the japanese language has shit tons of safeguards against this from occuring

like?

>>34713410
well, turkey isn't either, but there are no jobs for the turkish-speaking murikan

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>>34713398
Black and yellow is definitely the future

>>34713410
Come on, you can't blame that on language.

>>34711578
Who the fuck told you that normies have 100 friends? Having a small circle of close mates is commonplace in all social circles

>>34710466
>I don't watch anime
>I swear
>I'm just on an anime website talking about how I want to learn Japanese and move to Japan

>>34713438
learn japanese, and you'll see. I would argue about 10% of learning japanese changes depending on which gender you are. 10% of the language is tied to gender, unlike english which would be more like 0.05%

actually, in the past, men wrote using an entirely different alphabet from females. in the olden days, men wrote exclusive in katakana, and girls wrote exclusively in hiragana, that would've been an interesting generation to grow up in i think.

>>34713447
It's not entirely the language's fault, but if the english language had safeguards against it, it wouldn't even be a fucking problem. But english has nothing. Women talk just like men in english, there's very little discernable difference in attitude, language, or mannerism.

>>34712990
This. They're too dumb to see their culture works them so hard they can't even reproduce, which is like the most basic thing an animal should be able to do. Their suicide rate is high because their country fucking sucks.

>>34713410
What the fuck are you even saying? Women in the West becoming "liberated" started in the early 20th Century when French was still the Lingua Franka of the world.

>>34713441
Jesus fucking Christ all niggers do is fuck and eat.

>>34713410
the female thing goes way beyond language

oh and half of Japan's population will be 65+ years old in 50 years. Another prediction is that in 50 years it will only be 85 million

>>34713438
Shittons of pronouns

>>34713671
that's not the only issue

Western women are encouraged to pursue careers now, so it's only natural that fertility rates have dropped. They dropped even more after the Sexual Revolution for obvious reasons.

>>34713651
fall of the gender identity has nothing to do with female empowerment and everything to do with lack of enforcement of gender norms

on the contrary, america in particular is trying to destroy the concept of gender roles because they don't work for transexuals.

they're pandering to transexuals at the cost of actual women, but i digress.

>>34713760
wrong, gender norms don't need enforcing and it has everything to do with female empowerment, emotional blankets and weakness of character. Even in Japan, gender identity means nothing when there are no gender roles; it's really not natural for women to be independent and working their ass off, especially in whatever field they want.

>>34713591
Possessions are still referred to using female pronouns in the English language. A man may say, "She's a beaut," referring to a fancy car. Countries are often spoken of using female pronouns. One might say, "We must protect her," referring to America in a military sense. Nah, you don't have the female/male differentiation in many languages, but from my understand Japanese does not make this differentiation either. Unless you are talking about writing styles, but that's no different then females in English using a little circle instead of a dot for their i's and j's in grade school nor the more rounded shapes of female handwriting compared to male handwriting.
>>34713759
Well, that started during the world wars. So many men were sent overseas that the only young, dexterous workers left were female. That's when you saw a lot of encouragement for females to join the workforce while beforehand it was pretty much limited to widows, the extremely impoverished, and prostitutes. Also, before minimum wage laws were enforced, many companies encouraged the hiring of women simply because they could pay them less. Many men were not entirely apprehensive to hiring women until the government said, "You can't pay them less just because they are a woman."

It's not just that women are encouraged to have careers. Many women in my family history dating way back had careers as factory workers, teachers, and food service, as well as working alongside men in the fields but they also were excellent home makers. At some point it's not so much careers or work was encouraged, as much as homemaking was demonized as 'weak' and 'oppressive'.

>>34713974
fair point about homemaking, but in the 21st century females are not ambitious/motivated enough to do both, that's why I jumped to that conclusion.

>>34714255
That's a fair argument.

OP here, we got pretty off topic.

Would you ever consider entering a japanese relationship?

>>34714718
no because I'm not black

>japanese style relationships
this seems to be the pattern with all weeaboos, they invest all their time and money in things that have no value whatsoever which is why they'll remain poor as fuck for the rest of their lives.

>>34715002
could it be...that there's more to life than money???

say what?

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>>34710418
what are japanese style relationships

>>34715426
I'm guessing it's like a relationship except japanese style

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>>34715483
>I'm guessing it's like a relationship except japanese style

huh, that's pretty weird

>>34711578
>In america, you might have 100 or so friends. In Japan, you'll only have maybe 10. Why? Because japanese friends are a huge, huge timesink. We're talking co-workers that DEMAND you spend time with them
That's literally exactly what I want. I'm ex-military and I don't understand normie friends at all.

>>34712867

not everyone is KappaPride faggot

>>34710418
Implying that japanese women don't promptly spread their legs to the first tall white guy that arrives there to spend the week. LOL

>>34716643
black guy*

and they have to convince them to dishonor themselves by not doing overtime

>>34711578
that sounds like basic rules in america too dude. sounds like you need to work on your self.

>>34716544
If you want it, you can get it. Start learning japanese. Suffer with me.

>>34713151
English because murca, Canada, UK and most countries use it as a second language

Chinese (forgot which one) because their economy and country is booming and doing pretty well

Spanish if in America. Second used language in North America and pretty much the whole South America and some US trust territories can speak it.

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desu getting a japanese gf would be pretty cool if she liked anime and video games too, but I get the impression it's still a niche hobby even there and I don't want to feel like I have to hide my hobbies. I'm pretty happy with my American weeaboo gf too. Maybe we'll visit Japan together someday.

>>34716956
>you are considering breaking up with your gf for another girl

red flag

kek

this is what you get for letting a western girl anchor you to america, preventing you from leaving your country. and that is why i wont have a gf again until after i enter japan.

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>>34717039
What? I just said I was happy with her, why would I want to leave her?

And that is why you don't go and try to live in a culture where you don't belong

>>34711578
>. In Japan, you'll only have maybe 10. Why? Because japanese friends are a huge, huge timesink. We're talking co-workers that DEMAND you spend time with them after your shift, unpaid, even if you don't like them, or you lose your job.
honestly that is the only way I am ever gonna have friends

if people don't force themselves to be with me I am never gonna spend time with anyone

>>34711458
who gives a fuck? this topic is normie central

>>34712778
Fuck everything about japan. I've always hated how everything wrong with a country. Shit the rest of the civilised world can't get away with just gets brushed aside because "culture" Japan is not playing by the same fucked rules as the rest of us and nobody seems to care

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>>34717106
>tfw moved to america when 11
>tfw no culture to belong in
>tfw america has no culture because too multicultural

>>34716776
I actually took Japanese for three years in high school and have recently restarted my learning effort. I'm hope I got exposed to it just young enough to get an edge.

We will make it, brother.