>finally home alone >try to fuck my ass with a cucumber

>>34691639
start small. begin with carrots and work your way up

File: 1461784768461.jpg (38KB, 331x341px)

38KB, 331x341px

>>34691639
>How the fuck do you guys do it?
you need a (boy)friend to help

prostate stimulation cannot easily be done alone

>>34691639
Stop, do something else but god please don't fall for the anal meme.

>>34691639
Usually start with something small as a warmup and then go for the cucumber.

Stretching isn't comfortable so be sure to use lube and take your time.

>>34691755
why not? loll

>>34691639
Don't start with a cucumber, dummy. That's how you tear your asshole.

Progression should go:
>Fingers
>Small objects
>Small dildos (rigid)
>Medium dildos
>Fruits
>Large dildos
>Fists (if you're maneuverable enough)

3-5 years later, and you'll be done! Don't forget to prep before each session though.

>>34691841
It's a fucking meme, just go and buy a sextoy you sick fuck.

>>34691639
Not gay, friend who is gay told me his way

You have to eat healthy. At least things that helps your digestive system and makes you shit easier. Start small if you have to. Don't force it. It may take days or weeks. Obviously, use ALOT of lube.

File: 1388666891180.jpg (145KB, 659x605px) Image search: [Google]

145KB, 659x605px

>get tired and stop trying

I like you OP. I feel like I can relate. Words to live by.

>>34692077
>friend told me
sure he did anon
Who do you think you are fooling faggot