>yfw romans would've used 4chan http://www.pompeian

Swaglord's penis lies beneath his balls

is that a testament to the degeneracy of romans, or the "cultural sophistication" of 4chin?

>be me
>Pater is an eques, pretty rich
>Expect i enter in the Cursus Honorum
>But i'm a shitty Tribune
>Even shitier Questor
>tfw you will never be Consul

>>34660208
>We two dear men, friends forever, were here. If you want to know our names, they are Gaius and Aulus
tfw you will never had a friendship that people will remember 2000 years from now.

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>tfw no trve pvre roman gf

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bros foure life

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What do yov need a gladivs for, Romanfats?
If yovr hovse gets robbed, just call the lictor's gvild or vse yovr scvtvm to fend off the attack.
No Roman citizen actvally needs a gladivs. If pvsh came to shove, what, are yov and yovr vntrained barbarian slaves going to defeat 10 legions by yovrselves?
What next, shovld yov have the right to own a ballista? No Roman citizen shovld need anything more than a pvgio to defend himself in his home. Yov're jvst overcompensating for yovr short statvre and plebeian birth.