who actually values chastity? i always thought being a big horndog

It's pretty attractive
I associate it with people who have set their sights on more important things
But only if you're not even tempted by it

>>34639009
Being tempted but sticking to chastity makes you something more, doesn't it?

If I were to lose my virginity to someone and then end up having to end the relationship for some reason I would seriously never attempt to date again. I find people who have had more than one partner at any time absolutely revolting, feels like you're not giving your partner you all. Like you're using them even if you can't control it

Yes I do value chastity. I would have had the chance to get laid once in my life but I refused because I didn't want to do this to myself. And she even was quite attractive. But I want to marry someday and to imagine marrying a non-virgin bothers me a lot. So I have to stay a virgin myself to not be a hypocrite, right? But maybe it's all just a big mistake and I'm wasting my youth...

You'd rather buy from a fisherman who can catch a variety of fish then one that casts his rod and baits nothing right

>>34640469
Well I wouldn't eat a fish that someone else tried but didn't like.

>>34638954
chastity was valued highly for a long long time. Its only very recently that being chaste is a bad thing. I hold chastity in the highest regard but roasties will just go
>you cant get the puss puss and are just jealous
>>34640469
>stupid anaolgy which can easily be turned around like >>34640889

If you are not a virgin and not married then you have right to appraise Chastity

>>34640331

>But maybe it's all just a big mistake and I'm wasting my youth...

I get second thoughts like this a lot. For some reason, it feels quite good to hear the same thoughts from other people. Makes you think that it's normal to question your own values and that it doesn't necessarily mean it's wrong. After much contemplation, though, I choose to stick with chastity.

>>34640889
This is incredibly dumb.
Implying that no other things can make a relationship hit the skids

>>34638954
I value not being a whore, but I'm not super into virgins-Long term relationships are fine. They don't bother me, in fact I'd rather someone with experience. But I don't want someone who has ever had casual sex. I don't do that, and think it's disgusting.

>>34640331
>>34642517
I'm on the same boat, I'm good looking, and doing well overall but I just don't agree with modern values.

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>>34638954

Virginity is literally the foundation of stable relationships.

>2017
>dating non-virgins

>>34642668
What if you just don't want marriage? I don't value it, and neither does my girlfriend. She's had one partner before, and I have too-we're happy.

>>34642761

Everyone says they're happy until they're not. I hope everything works out well for you, but the data is overwhelmingly clear.

Most people (especially as they get older) do want marriage. Hell, marriage/Lifelong partnership is necessary for society to function properly.

>>34642832
Oh, I want a lifelong partner. I just find official marriage to be something I'm not interested in, and where you get the same legal benefits if you've been together for 10 years.

>>34642856
To add, I see it as a kind of religious thing- ditto with valuing chastity. I am not opposed to one or two previous partners, as I've had a few too. Provided the girl isn't a slut and is STD clear, it really doesn't bother me if they're completely pure or not.

>>34642856

Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your girlfriend having had 1 other partner diminishes her value greatly.

Again, I hope everything works out, but data is data.

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>>34642517
>After much contemplation, though, I choose to stick with chastity.
Yeah, me too. That tempting image of mad and glorious teenage love is unreachable anyways because the teenage years are over. And it's probably just a fantasy.

>>34642914
Depends on what you value to be honest.

The other side of the data could be that the girls who are chaste are generally religious, and also don't believe in divorce- if they're religious, it also means they have some sense of purpose and aren't caught up in the nihilistic or existential angst of the non religious.

While I think that's wonderful for them, I couldn't date a religious person anymore than I could date a hardcore atheist. The data doesn't show reasoning.

>>34642856
>Oh, I want a lifelong partner. I just find official marriage to be something I'm not interested in
If it's a commitment to stay together for a lifetime it's literally marriage and the same rules about promiscuity and stability apply.

>>34638954
I'm about as chaste as it gets, but I still want a big horndog bf that wants to fuck me all the time. Something about guys who need to get off a lot are hot.

>>34643021

>data doesn't show reasoning

Well, they're not just looking at marriage. These studies have also looked at reported happiness, marital stability, etc. as well as depression and infidelity.

Such metrics tend to nail things down quite a bit more.

Plus, other studies on similar topics have controlled for religiosity and reported similar findings.

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>>34643021
I get this "correlation is not causation" stuff, but as soon as you put some thought behind it, you can clearly see where the causation may be. Many people just can't fully "get over" someone. A partner will stay a partner for a lifetime even if you split up. And your thoughts will always wander around the questions what could have been and what could be ahead. It just doesn't let you concentrate on one partner as much as a marriage of two virgins does.

>>34643180
I did mention the happiness thing, just not overtly.
I think being religious makes you happy- it also leads to stronger ideals around divorce and infidelity.

I'm honestly quite sad that I can't be religious, but I'm someone who can't 'believe'. I'm no atheist either.

>>34643207
Yeah, I agree. But it doesn't bother me so much, and I know it would be hypocritical to want a virgin now I'm not one. I'm just happy with the girl who I am with now, and hope we'll stay together.

I don't judge those who want virgins, nor do I judge non virgins- I base my desire for a person on other things, and would date or 'marry' either provided they were intellectually my peer and emotionally well adjusted etc. I'm pretty neutral on the topic tbqh.

I don't particularly value chastity per se but I value ppl who don't let themselves be controlled by their animalistic impulses.

>>34643344
I would just say "ok" to you. But that wouldn't be original, right.
So I'll add: Normies get out REEEEEEEE

>>34642944
Exactly. I was talking about my doubts with a colleague who regrets losing his virginity and he told me that i'm lucky I was able to stay a virgin through my teenage years where you're naturally curious and more impulsive. He's saying i'm lucky because I got through the hardest phase so it should be easy for me now to keep my chastity belt since I know better. That thought keeps me going.

On some occasions, though, lust happens and it challenges the shit out of you.

>>34643270
What's the reason you do not believe?

>>34643612
I just have no evidence - I believe in physical things, and I certainly don't like any organised religion that exists. I find the thought of some kind of supernatural being pulling all the strings somewhat ludicrous; and if taken as true it either means they don't give a flying fuck about this creation, or that they're rather vindictive.

I think it shows a good sense of self control, and not giving in to instant gratification, which are two things I'd really want in a girl who might be the mother of my children one day.

I think it would also be a very special bond to share with somebody, knowing your are the only person who has been that intimate with the other.

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I just dislike women and gays.