Why don't NEETs spend all that free time and wagie bucks

there's this youtube guy (adam22) who made like 100k with poker and he said that every online poker dude pisses in bottles since you're playing multiple tables at once. I don't want to piss in bottles.

anyways, is there a good app for playing online poker with fake money?

They're too lazy for that

>>34633910
You can't go above a certain threshold in liquid assets if you are on NEETbux, and most NEETs are NEETS precicely because they lack focus and drive to do such a thing for such long term potential benefits.

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You need a specific type of brain to start off with, then hundreds of hours to train it, before you have a chance of reliably winning more than you lose. And as with all gambling, nothing's guaranteed, a losing streak can wipe you out. You know that gay little card counting montage in the movie The Hangover? It's exaggerated visuals but some people work like that, the same way some people have eidetic (photographic) memories and remember literally everything, like PlayStation hacker George Hotz (look him up, he hacked the playstation (opened it up to run pirated software) and facebook offered him a job).

Some people are 6'5 with large frames and can hit 300lbs. of muscle through bodybuilding, some people top out at 5'4 and that's the end. But apparently everyone's brains are exactly the same and high school guidance counselors tell us we can be anything we want to be. It's BS that so many people fall for

You guys are like 15 years off the fad.

It was awesome back in 2003-2004. Free money. Now it's illegal in the US.

>>34633990

just play low stakes .001.002 til you git gud

>>34634100

Its not something you pump money into like that

>>34634215

that's only good for probablity, which you should be doing anyway

>>34634252

Im not in the US also p sure its not illegal

>>34634423
what is black friday, what is uigea, educate yourself

>>34634252
>land of the free
>can't even gamble or buy sex
what do Americans even do for entertainment?

>>34634473
eat shitty food and get killed by other americans, niggers, and spics

>>34634442
>uigea

>Much of the public confusion stems from misinterpretations of existing laws. For example, The Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act, or UIGEA, was enacted in 2006. This is widely regarded by the media as a reason for online poker being illegal, when in fact, it does nothing of the sort. UIGEA makes the knowing processing of deposits to online gambling sites illegal, for banks. UIGEA is in no way directed at private citizens. It was literally snuck into law on a must pass Port Authority bill by two senators taking large sums of money from the casino lobby and its only purpose was to underhandedly shut down online poker while the major US casinos played catch-up to their offshore brethren. You see, domestic casinos had greatly underestimated the potential market size of online gambling


seems to me you can still play for $$$ online

Poker is a scam the only winner is the online casino

>>34634901

I wager most people dont even know the basic rules of poker

I guess you're one of them

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>>34633910
This is my reason: I don't get wagie bucks. Besides, money isn't everything.

online poker players need to go to a casino and see the types of fish that come through you'll never play online again

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playing poker is hard work

I want fully automated effortless income everything else is for plebs

>>34634948

Id imagine you could make nice amount playing 1/2nl a couple night a a week

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Online gambling is illegal in the US and if I can find a way to do it, hackers can find a way to just steal my money. Meanwhile I can just go to any 7-11 and buy lottery tickets. Terrible odds but its government run and can potentially turn $5 into millions.

>finally matched 4 numbers and won $70 last Super Lotto draw.

>>34633990
replaypoker is good

>>34633910
Gibe sites and guides, i dont want to be jewed

>>34635336
V P N
P
N

can somebody confirm or deny that online poker pros piss in bottles?

>>34635511

http://www.pokerlistings.com/strategy/how-not-to-suck-at-poker-play-fewer-hands


Im still a beginner but at least I have a rough idea what Im doing, I just played for a few hours and almost doubled my starting money only losing 2 hands at showdown

Just read up on it, especially focus on what hand you think your opponent has, you can usually tell what range they have by the way they bet

>>34633910
I did that back in college.
Put zero own money in, only played with sign-up bonuses and such
played from 50 dollars to ~600 dollars but that had a really bad and long downswing and decided to stop and keep the last 200 bucks
it was fun and free money, but at the end it was more frustrating than anything else

>>34635045
Yea, me too. What's the plan for that, meng?

>>34633910
http://www.theverge.com/2017/1/31/14451616/ai-libratus-beat-humans-poker-cmu-tournament

online poker will be dead in a few years when everyone let's their bots play

Learn about shitcoins. I bought 2btc of trumpcoin last may and sold for 18btc a week before the inauguration.

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I just spend my saturday night playing cards (not poker tho) with my grandmother and her friends. I'm now convinced that I will become something great because this level of autism makes good story arc for a biopic.

>>34636352


>Most online poker players have nothing to fear from Libratus right now. The system only works in Heads Up poker, where only two players are involved. A game with three players or more would be too computationally intensive, and require a totally different strategy and algorithmic approach.

>>34636740
>right now
>>34636352
>in a few years

>>34637196

heads up and 9 player are completely different games and require a completely different skillset

also just because it won by a big amount doesnt mean itll win everytime either

Played professionally NL HU and 6-max for 5 years until 2014 I think, poker is not easy money, you have to learn shitton to stay ahead of other players, and the downswings which sometimes last more than month can mentally fuck you up
Don't recommend this game to anyone

>>34637294

How much did you earn?

Why did you stop?

What is your name?

>tfw you can't even make it out of 0.02nl

>>34637558

stop playing weak hands, learn to fold post flop if youre beat

I don't see how it would be so hard to make a living if you're decent


say I play 1/2 nl limit

If I played 10 hours a day 5 days a week and won 10 an hour with is only 5 BB, Id be earning 500ish a week, an equivalent salary for me would be 32k a year or 15 euro an hour ans its pretty hard to get a 15 euro an hour job these days

It's funny watching people play with fake money on sponsored accounts, making big bets to entice naive fuck boys to sign up to the Casino and blow their paycheck. Casinos wouldn't exist if people won so the only winning move is not to play. If you're a pro then you could earn a minimum wage salary (assuming all funds can be withdrawn) if played 5 days a week. If you just want to play for fun though then set aside the money you can accept to loose and play.

>>34638069

the casino, doesnt profit from losing players in poker

they profit on a pot basis called a rake, a certain per cent of chips goes to the casino for running it