honest question, anyone on this board with mental illness want

>>34630986
Well I don't know who to blame for my downfall. My childhood was pretty good ( only because I was a kid oblivious to every bad thing that was happening around me ) Now that I've grown up I can't even look back and be happy because I remember all of the things that used to happen around me and how innocent I was to not give a shit about it. I can never get that innocence back.

>>34630986
Kys
Fags like you are the worst

https://www.madinamerica.com/mia-manual/antidepressantsdepression/

DISREGARD JEWISH BRAINSWASHING PILLS

>>34631407
No , dimwits like you are the worst.

>>34631260
sorry about the late reply, I was on the phone to my mum
that sounds a lot like my childhood, it does seem like your parents did everything to make sure you were happy and that any arguments they were having didn't affect you
be secure in the knowledge that you've got people on your side, even if it didn't work out between them :)
and make sure you know you aren't defined by what happened back then, you can start a new life and make sure those children have the best start you can give them

>>34630986
ur a good guy anon. u can compensate for my lack of optimism and happiness kek :)

im starting CBT in 2 weeks, and ive been on antidepressants for 3 months. although they havent done anything for me yet... at least i reached out and got some help right?

>>34631647
you're making great progress! anti-depressants take a while to kick in. Make sure to take them at the times they say because missing a dose can make it worse
they more nullify the symptoms of depression so you're more open to the CBT, they won't work on their own :)
once you start cbt, after a few months I really hope you see some results and I'm sure you will!
if you have someone close to you that you feel will support you, let them know about your progress and I'm sure they'll be able to give you some more personalized support
proud of you anon!

because I've had at least one reply, I'm going to try and do a thread like this on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays at 3pm GMT. If anyone sees this thread and would like to talk about anything, I'll be on from then till really any time if it's important.

>>34631692
yeah, i heard taking the counselling+pills combo was effective. i had counselling before and i absolutely hated it, but im hopeful that itll be different this time
and thanks anon 8)

>>34630986
I would rather hurt myself untill I pass out before I talk with anyone about what I feel.

Thanks but no.

>>34631740
no worries! a lot of people with depression and anxiety don't feel comfortable enough with CBT as they will be thinking quite negatively about it
once CBT starts, your therapist should slowly start lowering your dose until just CBT is necessary and then it's up to you if you want to continue
I believe you can do this anon, the first step is honestly the hardest

File: 1467814242874.png (516KB, 544x673px) Image search: [Google]

516KB, 544x673px

I tried counselling and I'm more depressed than ever.
I'm just not cut out for this world

>>34631766
that's absolutely fair enough, I had hoped that anonymity might make people feel more open. I hope if you ever feel up to it, that you can join in with one of these threads later down the line, I'm not going to give you any unsolicited advice, don't worry

>>34631788
Yeah maybe I will.
Nice dubs btw.

>>34631783
I've heard a lot of people weren't happy with their counselors. Do you think the problem rested with them? You should always have a friendly ear during these sessions. If you think this is the case, you could always try changing who you went to see, or if they could prescribe anti-depressants as well as CBT.
Everyone deserves a chance at life, it's hard and deteriorating having to deal with depression. I mean, why the fuck should I still be here?
You matter.
I, for one care about you. You're a human being with complex emotions that I wouldn't even pretend to understand each intricacy. But everyone of us deserves a chance. People are dealt shitty cards and it feels fucking terrible.
I know that much.
But just know, that you are your own person. You don't have to compare yourself to anyone.
You can take little steps to make things more bearable, if you're up for the challenge!
I would suggest a walk every day if you can, leaving the house I found makes me feel the slightest bit better just because I've done something that day
maybe any sports or vidya that you enjoy as well
I would suggest trying counselling again, but I know how much harder that must be after trying it once.
If you can't, try the little steps I mentioned earlier and shower everyday, groom yourself, put on something nice and spend the day somewhere. Something new breaks some people out of their funk
Good luck, I hope you find a way to fight it :)

>>34631852
thanks, I hope to hear from you sometime

I started questioning if my lack of interest in everything and empathy towards others are somehow symptoms of sociopathy.
I'm afraid to discover my doubts are true because that would mean I always just pretended to prove something for my dears and every good thing I did had an egoistic aim.

>>34630986
How does one properly manage bipolar. I have it real bad in the sense of I'm usually very chill and go with the flow, but if someone pisses me off I just go way the fuck off the rails. Already taking Lexipro (10mg) for it and Vyvanse (50mg) for ADHD.

>>34632036
that's a difficult one to tackle
what I would say is even if you did discover that, doesn't everyone do something for others to make them feel better? Cheering someone up when they're down makes you feel good, giving gifts makes you feel good. If anything, everyone has something to gain from being altruistic, that's what makes it such a nice system. Nothing is truly selfless, but even though you gain from it, so does the other person so where is the harm really? A lack of interest and empathy can also be a sign of depression, whether you realise it or not. Consulting a doctor would more than likely prove that to be the case, rather than being a sociopath. Even if it turned out that you were, you've still made the people you care about feel good with the things you've done so as much as hearing that could bring you down, remain focused on the fact that you've done these things for them without you ever being confirmed as sociopathic.

>>34630986
Anon, you are a great human being. Thanks for doing this, although this board might not appreciate you enough.

>>34632063
please take this with a pinch of salt, as once again I'm not trained in anything
my friend z is bi-polar and what she found worked is that by having someone close to them be somewhat of a buffer. Your lows sound manageable from the way you've described them, but if you ever find yourself aware of how you're acting, spot the person a message and they can talk you down if it's someone you trust well. I would suggest having an emergency phone number for you to have to ring that person if you find yourself losing control.
this can't be relied on always though, these may sound dumb but closing your eyes and counting slowly down from ten, taking a deep breath between each number really calms your nerves by focusing on something else and controlling your breathing
I know bi-polar is a different kettle of fish to regular anger issues
What I would say is that it takes time to find a ryhthem to your actions. Many schizophrenics over time can distinguish between hallucinations and real life, so maybe the same trick works here by really focusing on what people are saying if they're saying to calm down
it's never antagonistic of someone trying to calm you, as much as it feels like it
I would try and remember this if anything
CBT may also help, f it's only your highs that are debilitating maybe even an anger management specialist
I wish you luck, I hope I hear back from you in a later thread anon :)

>>34632220
I really appreciate it, I just hear all the stories on this board (wading through the shitposts, I mean) and I really feel like counselling is a great solution and someone to talk to can make opening up to someone like that a lot easier.

>>34632224
Thanks counselor anon. I go to therapy and to be honest it doesn't affect my day to day life (like at ink with classmates) but it's mostly with parents or people who are extremely close with me, thankfully never yelled or anything at my roommate, but one time I yelled at my floor manager and had to be sent to mandatory counseling to stay where I was

>>34632299
I found that subconsciously I'm the harshest on my parents and the people close to me
I guess in your scenario that you can put up with it in school/college but when you get home you feel safer to vent at the people you care about
Which I think is more of a reason to have that one "buffer" to vent at. They'll understand and you won't feel like you're upsetting anyone
At work, if you feel like you're going to explode ask your manager for a 2 minute breather
With your diagnosis, I'm sure they would understand
If not, they are terrible employers and that is nothing on you
Well done on going to therapy, even if it's just to vent I'm glad you've got someone there to help :)

>>34632224
Thank you anon , you menaged to relieve me .

>>34630986
I have been there twice and every time I just end up being creepy.

I give serious rapist stares even though I'm just anxious and depressed

I am also indecisive as fuck so everyone thinks I'm lying and out there to get me

>>34632383
Your therapist has probably met someone with every condition under the sun
I'm sure they realise if someone is staring oddly that they're going to jump to the most common conclusion among people who go to therapy which is depression and anxiety, there are a huge list of symptoms of anxiety and depression and they probably picked up on them before anything else
has anyone ever said that they think you're a liar anon? I'd hope that if you explained to someone that you're just very indecisive they'd easily understand
I always say I'll be somewhere at a time and I'll be in bed 5 minutes before I'm meant to be there
They would never think you're out to get them, depression and anxiety usually makes people see the worst possibility possible
I'm sure if you're close to these people and felt comfortable enough to let them know about your condition, that they'd see you in a completely different light
I'd advise going back (as hard as that would be, fucking amazing going twice anon!) and let them know that if you're acting oddly, that it's due to nerves and you don't mean to weird anyone out :)

File: gasp.jpg (102KB, 650x650px) Image search: [Google]

102KB, 650x650px

>>34630986
>anyone on this board with mental illness want to let me know why they didn't want to go to counselling?

I don't know If i have mental illnesses.
I was feeling pretty shit and I went to a therapist once.

I've visited her for a little bit, but as I knew she was laughting at me with her team of shrinks, I never returned.

>>34632508
if that's true, that's fucking despicable and you should report every single one for malpractice. You have been extremely unlucky to have had that experience and it genuinely upsets me that it's stopped you from maybe seeking the help you need. I really feel for you anon. Is there anything you'd like to share? I can understand that going to a therapist from your experience would be extremely debilitating, but maybe if you think you're just feeling then a friendly ear might be able to help?

>>34632505
>has anyone ever said that they think you're a liar anon? I'd hope that if you explained to someone that you're just very indecisive they'd easily understand
OK that makes sense.

>>34632579
anxiety and depression really fucks with the way you think you're perceived to other people
CBT is a process where you unlearn the destructive way of thinking and when paired with anti-depressants it has shown amazing results for some people :)
maybe ask a therapist specifically about that

>>34632508
Thats why I would never go there.
I cannot trust anyone, especially with what I really think.

I never told anyone anything about how I feel.
The thought that they would just turn around and laugh at me behind my back is killing me.

>>34632659
Another anxietyanon here, the thought of SSRI side-effects scare the shit out of me. And just finding a psych scares me anyway.

>>34632659
Yeah I have friends helping me out but I feel like they're just out there to get me or something

File: oh god.jpg (107KB, 840x699px) Image search: [Google]

107KB, 840x699px

>>34632568
Honestly, I Think I'm the bad dude there.
She probably didn't giggled at me... but I Felt like it.

Even if it wasn't real, the sole possibilty of it happening made the whole thing unbareable.

I've made a poor decision of words when I typed: "I knew she was" I'm sorry.
More like "I felt like" but with such intensity I've considered it true for quite a long time.

I didn't trusted anyone there because of reasons, and As soon as I felt exposed (even if it was kinda all in my mind)
I lied, like I always do.

>>34632669
>The thought that they would just turn around and laugh at me behind my back is killing me.

Accurate.
The thought of judgment from other people is so heavy.


I'm the bad guy of the situation.
I'm sorry for missunderstanding.

>>34632669
it sounds like maybe you're experiencing paranoia. What might help is jotting down your thoughts and what starts to trigger your thoughts that make you believe that people would do things. Once you're aware of what may cause these thoughts, try stopping dead. Just always keep in your mind that NO, why would anyone laugh about this? they'd looking like fucking disgusting people if they did. I'd start with this and maybe if you can a few months down the line let someone know how you feel, someone you really trust. Having someone who understand how you feel will help them talk you out of your habitual way of thinking. Once again, normally I would say CBT but from your experience, I wouldn't expect you too. But if you ever feel like you could muster it with support from a friend, I would suggest it.

You're really brave anon, you're fucking strong and be proud of who you are please

>>34632733
I'd read this anon
>>34632773

>>34632746
it's okay anon, I'd read my thoughts on paranoia :)
>>34632773

>>34632717
the only thing I can suggest is trying them. And if it helps, have a friend with you just put your mind at ease. You may feel worse to begin with, but continued use will help. You'll most likely feel more comfortable seeing a psych after that as well :)

And for everyone, anxiety does not define you. You can do it, you will get through it and I believe in all of you. With the right help, you can tackle this shit.

File: fuck this life fampai.jpg (58KB, 600x400px) Image search: [Google]

58KB, 600x400px

>anxiety disorder since HS graduation
>OCD since very young
>panic attack barrage last year
>thought I had MS, go nuts for 2 months
>panic attacks every day, tingling, numbness, after-images, tripping everywhere
>get MRI
>all clear
>calm down, been fine for half a year
>suddenly depression
>read about CIS (clinically-isolated syndrome)
>symptoms return

reeeeee free me from this madness

>>34632946
oh yeah, forgot tinnitus and permanent dizziness for those 2 months

tinnitus is still with me

>>34632946
Are you by any chance the guy that thought that he was getting hunted down by the mafia?

>>34632999
No, I don't have delusions.

I think I might have clinical depression, but I started seeing a therapist a few months ago. Should I bring this up with her? Isn't she supposed to diagnose that? We talk about my depression openly so it's not like she doesn't know I'm depressed

It's a combination of only minor success with counselling in the past and not being able to afford it. Therapy is expensive in
australia. you can get up to
i think 10 sessions at a discount in a calendar year if you get a referral from your gp, but after that you have to pay full price and that can easily get into $200 a session, which, if you are mentally ill enough to require more sessions, is too much.

>>34632946
like I've mentioned, I'm not a therapist and my number one suggestion for everyone would be to see one. They're the ones trained to help people through their conditions.
Anti-depressants
CBT
have you seen a doctor about your condition? I would make sure to have it confirmed first. I know it's hard to just stop worrying about it. However, considering you were all clear last time, it maybe placebo and a side effect of your anxiety and you may just be worried about each little thing. I would still check with the doctors asap
you have had it rough anon, but it looks like you're still standing and you're an incredibly strong person.
Panic attacks I would deal with by closing your eyes, count slowly back from 10 and take deep breaths inbetween each one
make sure to really focus
and drink plenty of water
make sure you have someone to call whenever one of these gets bad, just the thought of knowing you can call someone may also ease the symptoms
if you find that you don't feel ready to trust someone, there are many helplines like the samaritans who are there to specifically help people deal with sudden issues
you've had it rough anon, you're fucking incredible for dealing with that fucking well done

>>34633054
your therapist might want you to bring it up first. You should discuss it with her and see what she thinks :)

>>34633082
I'm sorry anon, I didn't think :(
do you have number like the samaritan number in the UK to call? they're there to give adivce on a scenario just like that :)

UK: Samaritans - 116 123
Everywhere else: http://www.befrienders.org/

>>34633095
Yeah, good luck getting respect from anyone as a man if you tell anyone you have panic attacks. God forbid you actually NEED someone for emotional support.

>>34633185
Im pretty far from beeing suicidal, but I would rather off myself before calling such a hotline.

>>34633332
>>34633360
That's your perogative, but I just thought I'd put them here for anyone who needed them. And panic attacks have nothing to do with respect. Some human beings function better with emotional support. Just because you personally believe things does not make it true for everyone. Just like any of my advice, I am saying how I would handle the situation. It doesn't make me right, but I'm doing my best just in case it saves someones life or at least cheers someone up a bit.

I've got autism (aspergers), anxiety, depression

When I was young doctors told my mom I just had add and I was gonna be fine on xyz medication, none of them worked, later in life I get tested and found out I actually have aspergers, not add

I never went to counseling for my anxiety and depression because medication is easier and I'm painfully lazy

>>34633657
If you're comfortable living your life as you are, then I wouldn't force you to change. But if things ever get a bit too much that medication just won't cut it, then I would attempt counselling. I know that with aspergers it may be difficult, but maybe if you have someone close that you routinely feel comfortable talking to (best friend/parent) they could help you book an appointment. I know aspergers can be difficult as the way people talk can come off as rude or alien to some people with aspergers, all I can say is keep persevering and living your life, you seem to have a handle on things for now and I think that's amazing for the things you have to deal with :)

Okay I'm heading off, I'll put up another thread tomorrow at 3pm GMT. You guys are amazing and thank you for sharing what you're going through, I hope you all find what you need. It would be nice if mods could sticky this post for anyone who needs support but I guess we'll see with time :)
You're all fucking incredible people and don't you forget it.

>>34633769
I'm 22 and I was diagnosed with aspergers like four months ago so I don't really feel like it changed anything about who I am. I guess I could say I'm happy with who I am and I don't mind taking two pills every night.

>>34633154
im not sure. there are a couple of phone numbers you can call to talk to someone if youre suicidal but i dont think its for general counselling.

i am constantly on edge about my uni life.

i have severe anxiety and depression

i always expect for the worst, like getting kicked out

I had been seen by over a dozen different therapists, counsellors, social workers, psychologists, psychiatrists, forensic specialists and everything inbetween over the course of nearly a decade before I found a competent team that could actually diagnose what was wrong and help me.

The system is broken and it is so hard to find good help that for someone suffering from mental ilness it can seem like an impossible feat to really get better.

OP, if your family really suffers from mental illness like you say you would be acutely aware of why people are so reluctant to get help. Good on you for making this thread, I'm sure you're just trying to get people to think about why they aren't getting help, but damn your OP rustled me.