"I'm here to have sex with your wife, anon. Can you

>>34604168
HAHA WHAT? YOU'RE GONNA FUCK MY BODY PILLOW CHAD?
HAVE A GOOD TIME

>>34604168
are you crazy? get out of my house

>>34604168

lol, no.

i'd shoot him with my .12 gauge

>>34604168
Uh, sure. Just let me tell her I want a divorce and you're good to go.

>>34604168
why did he get a tapeworm tattoo? is he saying he gets diarrhea a lot?

>>34604168
>Bang Bang
>Muh Castle
>No wife
At least that's what I hope.

>>34604168
You have 20 seconds to vacate the premises before I'll rape your ass

>>34604390

you'd be sent to prison

>>34604390
not until after you suck his cock and rim his asshole right?

>>34604421

no, before.

>>34604432
Before he fucks your wife or before you let him tie your lanky uncircumcised penis into a knot?

>>34604390
A .12 gauge
http://i.imgur.com/dOnlJcL.png

>>34604498

before i suck his cock and rim his asshole.

i like it better when they're dead first.

>>34604390
we got a badass over here lol

>>34604416
not if he were in anon's house, assuming he's a burger

Sure thing buddy. Can I also invite you to fuck my ass as well?

>>34604390
this

Thank god for living in a red state, I can do this and get away with it.

>>34604168
No, I take advantage of my state's castle doctrine and shoot him in the chest.

>>34604168
Well, first of all, I don't have a wife so I don't know what you're going to put your penis into but fuck it, go ahead, I'm curious now.

>>34604168

>he says, as I open the door at 4 PM still in my Batman pajamas. The visible stain on my pajama bottom implies I just finished jerking off
>I look behind me to see an unkept room with blinds shut, full of video games, comics, manga and empty pizza boxes
>I look him in the eyes and move my 300 lbs body to the side so he could see the sight that beholds behind me. I don't break the eye contact
>the man just stares for a few seconds, alternating between look at my room at me. After that he apologizes and leaves my premise.
>I go back to playing Mario Kart with myself.

>>34604168
Id help him look for my wife cause i wasnt aware i got married

>>34604168
I don't even have one for that, but you can help me paint the walls red with your head if you'd like.

>>34604416
depends on the state you live in, some states this is legal, see: stand your ground

>>34605726
You don't even need that, you can claim castle doctrine