>never had friends in my life >always thought my life would

Inertia I guess.

Do you feel embarrassed to be around them when you're not as accomplished in life as they are?

Does it make you feel anxiety of needing to improve and distress of not having improved so you don't want to show up?

>why do I want to continue doing something I have grown very comfortable in doing and prefer because it's easier

hmmm....
seriously, though. put yourself out there and do your best for your friends to repay them for whatever they see in you. friends are rare, especially like your ones, I wish I had friends.

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>>34601799
I'd say that the reality is that you probably don't want to be alone all the time, but rather you don't want to be around people all the time.

To varying degrees, everybody needs "alone time" to recharge their batteries, so to speak. Personally, I enjoy my alone time to the point where people think that it's extremely unnatural, though I certainly don't want to never be around anybody.

I'd recommend that you don't push them away, and instead find a healthy balance (based on your own personal needs) to keep them in your life, while still not being wiped out on a personal level. Maybe see them less often in person, but keep in touch via text or something.

I remember years back when I worked a customer service-oriented job for a couple of years, I genuinely became suicidal because it made me feel extremely worn out constantly. I actually liked a lot about the job, but being around people so often and keeping up that facade drained me incredibly.

Find the right balance for you, because it certainly isn't either extreme. I can guarantee you that.

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>tfw no gf
>finally get gf
>first few months go great
>just want to be alone now

should I just dump her and accept I'm meant to be alone.

>>34601954
Here's the problem, though: when you dump her, you're going to realize how much that you miss her. It's fucking abject misery where you can't stand to be with her, and can't stand to be without her. I almost did the exact thing, then she goes on a trip for a while and I realize how much I miss her when she's gone. I encouraged her to get a job where she works a lot, now I'm much happier about things.

>>34601799
Anon, whatever you do don't left them go, it seems that they really care about you, You don't know if you'll find someone like them in the future and you'll regret it forever.

Just make a personal rule to always say yes to social invitations.