>"okay class I want you all to take turns saying your

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>tfw i was the one kid who asked to go to the bathroom before it happened

>>34579245
Jake

I'm a straight hairstylist.

>>34579245
>My name is anon and i've never kissed a girl before
>Girls in class: *Aww that is so cute, we have to totally take anon's virginity*

>>34579245
My name is Jake Butler and I let my gf cuck me with large mexican men

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1fV7qNIvwjc
Not difficult, nobody cares, if you make it succinct others will be thankful.
There's no wrong answer where you're disemboweled for not being interesting.

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>>34579245
This happened my senior year in high school and it turned out fine. I originally passed chemistry at a different school, but they didn't want to give me a credit for it so I took it again
>teacher says he wants students to stand up and say their name with an interesting fact
>asks which half of the classroom wants to go first
>it's my half
>asks which row wants to go first
>it's my row
>asks who wants to go first
>other kids argue and bicker and I volunteer because why not
>My name is anon, and I failed this class before
I lied to get laughs and it worked

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>pick a group

My name is Anon and I'm about to become famous

*unzips gun*

*teleports behind class*

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[killing intensifies]

pss... totaly personnel... normans...

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>>34579484
You better be a boy, goddamn it

hey im andon, i mean anom, i-i mean anon
i like games

The trick is to avoid female teachers and stupid subjects like sociology & human sexuality.

"Hey wassup, I'm Anon, and I'm a compulsive masturbator. Sometimes I even do it in class."

My name is Anon and I have no redeeming qualities.

>>34579381
You know, I almost want to try this, but I'm afraid it would just make people think I'm gay. Or people would say something along the lines of "yeah, already knew that".

>>34579484
I've seen people try that and the teacher forces them to say more.

>>34579245

Literally, got my ham radio license for the sole purpose of having something for this situation (and to put under "hobbies" on resume`, which is essentially the same thing)

>My name is anon and my penis is 18cm in length, 16cm in girth and 100% in fun.

>>34579265
>Oh hey we almost missed you, yes you just walking in, come on dont be shy!

Hey my name is anon and i posted this exact scenario on arr nine kay a few days ago

>"My name is anon and I like reading."

My name's Ana and I'm fucking better than you

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Hey my name is anon, i got an old pokemon im currently trying to get rid since im probably gonna shoot myself before it garners any real value

>>34579245
"Hi, my name's Anon and I'm good at handfarting".
>BRAAP BRAAP BRAAP

>>34579245
My name is Johnny Knoxville, welcome to Jackass

Tfw I used to say that I can solve rubiks cubes in this situation

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My name is anon, and I can fap at least over ten times in one night. Gf applications are welcome.

>>34579484
holy shit you sound just like ellen degeneres

>>34581152
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0fPiXeDcG4o
More like Ellen Degenerate.

>>34579245
I hated the feeling this question used to give me so I created a default in elementary school. Hi my name is anon, I like to run.

>>34579245
My name is Fuck, and one interesting fact about me is You. Another interesting fact is your dick smells, Mr. Teacher.

>my name is anon and I like to light things on fire

One year later I got suspending for lighting something on fire

"I'm really happy to be here" is my go to.

>>34579484
Are you a boi

>>34581503
>Are you a boi
I was the last time I checked.

>>34581239
Made me do a spit take 10/10

>>34581545
You sound like a girl are you a trap

>>34581572
God no.
This is just what I happen to sound like.

>>34581613
Did you do something to make it sound like that or is it natural

Also more please

Hi my name is naruto and I have seen 300 full days worth of animes according to myanimelist and fact 2 I am single ladies.

If you use a silly face when you say it everyone will like you I hope.

>>34581683
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0zBz3GVoqHh

>>34581847
People make fun of you for that? I'd kill to have that voice desu.

My name is Anon and I can take my panties off without taking my jeans off first

>>34581896
As others in the thread have pointed out it is a bit "girly"

>>34579265
I have done this like 60 times, it backfires greatly when it doesn't work.

>>34581946
Yeah, but I guess since my dream used to be voice acting that's why I like it.

>>34579245
my name is wojak
i have no gf

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I saw a UFO once so fortunately I had that as my go-to answer for this situation

>>34582029
Kek'd
reee

they literally did this at orientation for pharmacy school, also we said where we were from

my actual answer:
>i'm (redacted), i'm from (redacted)
>there's nothing interesting about me

>first day of 10th grade
>Im the new kid in school, see this as the perfect opportunity to reinvent myself
>playing some icebreaker games in English class
>throwing around a soccer ball, and on each pentagon theres a question
>ball gets thrown over to me, perfectly catch it
>"my name is anon and my fsvorite drink is whiskey"
>hear some kids gasp, hear most chuckle
>instantly my "mature and mysterious" act crumbles
>start breathing a little heavier and feel face getting hotter and hotter
>without saying a word lay my head down and pretened to be asleep for the rest of class

my name is anon
I like videogames

>>34582117
This makes me feel some type of way, anon

my name is anon and I am a human
>implying that isn't interesting

>>34579349
A """fembot""" named Jake? Do you dye your hair blue?

>>34582109
other highlights in my school career
>getting to know each other worksheet in seminary
>one of the questions is "one thing you're particularly good at"
>can't think of anything
>i say "i'm good at not being particularly good at anything"
>stacy girl (who got married 2 weeks after graduation) freaks out, for some reason this triggers her

>>34582177
>>34582109
fuck sorry for killing the thread guys.

i've wanted to kill myself for well over a decade now. i need to just fucking do it and stop making everyone's life just a little worse by my existence.

>>34582317
>implying Threadkilling isn't a gift

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>>34582317
"Hi, My name's anon- Interesting fact about me: i've wanted to kill myself for well over a decade now. i need to just fucking do it and stop making everyone's life just a little worse by my existence."

>>34579493
If I'd said something like that, there'd just be an unnerving silence while I'm expecting everyone to laugh. Now everyone pities me and thinks lowly of me and I hate myself even more.

>>34579484
Why was this so funny, hahaa

>>34579245
this is the worst
organelle

>>34579484
Tell me a bedtime story pls

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>h-hello, i'm anon and uhh, i like to play video games

>>34583354
http://vocaroo.com/i/s02hIJLsQFhD

>>34583431
You're shit at bedtime stories desu but your voice makes it better

>>34583574
It's a goofy Tom Waits track.
I mean, I guess I could have read "Skippyjon Jones"- I've read that to actual children before, but it takes a while and a lot of energy.

>>34583605
Pls read skippyjon jones

>>34583617
I'm going to pass out drunk instead
at some other venture, maybe.

>>34583668
Dang. Tbh if you ever do read it kik it to me at KekWills
Do not judge the name, I had no better ideas

I'm Anon and I like listening to interesting facts about my other classmates.

>>34581847
There's literally no way you aren't a girl, and I don't mean like hurr durr le trap le london. You really do have the exact intonation and inflection that comes from either years of practice or vocal training.

So are you FtM?

>>34579245
My name's anon and I play several instruments. I even write songs sometimes.

>>34583796
>how to immediately socially osctracize yourself

I'm anon and I like binge watching netflix amirite normies ;^)

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>>34579245
>>34580273
>>34579627
>>34580641
>>34581815
>>34582117
>>34583368
please stop this at once

I'm John, and I hate every single one of you.

God, i used to hate this shit in school. So glad I'm not in college i prefer being a wage cuck.

>group interview
>say I like to play video games
didnt get job
i feel shame

>my name anon i like rice

>>34580358
same this is what I always say

>>34584856
>not 'my name is not important'

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>>34584835
h-hi my name is anoymous bringo and I enjoy collecting pics like this

*shows pic related

>>34579484
Your way of speaking sounds too rhythmic almost like a machine. Nice voice though

>>34579484
(you)
original college student

>>34579245

>TFW WHEN I LITERALLY EXPERIENCED THIS LIKE 10 HOURS AGO REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Had to repeat everyone's name and the thing they said describes them, I was 3rd to last in a class of 30 students.

>Inb4 you have to be 18 to use this site

>>34579484
>my names uhNUN

jesus christ kys

>>34580358

>Tfw I said this exact thing a few hours ago

I'm fucking tripping guys

i'm Anon and I like playing that madden bro xD

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>Okay class, to introduce yourself come up with a rhyme for your name that tells us about you!

>>34586391
I had to do the same fucking thing

Hi my name is Bumbandit and I can drive a tank.

>>34581847
You sound like the male protagonist of a children's cartoon.

>my name is pussyslayer and I can suck dick good

>>34579245
My name's anon and I can't jerk off more than once a day because my frenulum is too short which restricts my foreskin movement and if I masturbate too much it gets cracked and bleeds

>>34579245
H-Hi! My name is anon and I've never cheated on a test.

>>34579245
My name is Anon and I spent 7 months inside mental hospitals last year

>>34579245
I'm Rod, and I like to party.

My name is anon, and this is my pawnshop

>>34586455
>tfw my name rhymes with ''stupid''

>>34587297
Oooh, that's a puzzler. Rupert?

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Hey, my name is Anon, I'm a chain smoker and an alcoholic because I missed out on a lot of opportunities in my life because my parents were sadistic and they enjoyed inflicting physical and emotional pain on me, now I'm insecure, it's not so bad because most of the time I feel nothing.

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>>34579493
Why would you say my name is anon tho? That's autistic af

>>34579349
you could double your business if you learned curly

>>34587583
You are either new or autistic yourself

>>34579245
Hi, I'm anon and I have a very short refractory period (less than 1 minute)

>>34582067
>How to be labeled "that weird kid" on the first day

i would always say my interesting fact was that the teacher molested me when i was a toddler

>>34579245
It happened to me when i entered in high school

>"okay class I want you all to take turns saying your name and one interesting fact about yourself"
>every one is saying their names and something about yourself
>my turn
>nod my head saying no
>teacher ask why
>say No
>"why?"
>"Because no"
>he say, "next then"
>from now own i was the No Kid

>>34579245
My name is Van, I am an artist

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>>34579245
>H-hello my n-name is ano- *braaappp* y-you t-too.

You know what's worse than you introducing yourself.. Someone else doing it.

>be me 17 in class get sat next to turbo Stacie , spends the full 10mins telling me why she I amazing, don't get any time to say stuff about me.

>gets to me, tell everyone about how she is rich and likes Stacie chad things.

>gets to her, explains that I am anon and like staring at breasts and keep pictures of makes cartoon girls.

>whole class laughs.
>I sit in silence and remain that way for years

My names anon and I believe in white supremacy

>get sent to office
>not even mad

>>34583368
Omg annon what kind of video games?
HOW LONG DO U SPEND PLAYING A WEEK!?!?!

>>34579245
august. i dont believe in anything, especially facts.

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>>34579245

>>hey... sup. my name is Baptiste J Chadly... And I like to slay puss

My name is anon and i haven't got any dubs today.
Instead, i ended 3 treads.

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>>34591684

That feel. I felt that feel before.

>>34591699
Well, at least you've got some dubs today.
have a good one, see you tomorrow

>>34579245
>my name's anon, and was the guy who took a shit on the floor

>>34591716

It's a shame because I posted in the dubs and you die in your sleep tonight thread a whole bunch of times, and I come here and get dubs. What the fuck is wrong with the world.
Gnight

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>hello my name is anon and I like to-
>voice crack

>>34582448
Poetry at its finest

>>34579245
>be me
>7th grade
>time for class introductions
>my tun comes
>my names anon
>I hate a lot of things
>and I don't particularly like anything
>what I have is not a dream, because I will make it a reality
>I'm going to restore my clan and destroy a certain someone
>everyone thinks I'm autistic
>go through the rest of the year with 30% attendance

>Hey I'm anon and I live alone and eat too many beans

Dead silence in the room.

>>34579509

I hated this in all but one of my classes. In that particular class Chad would pair up with me and we made the deal that if I did all the work he would do the presentation to the class. It worked perfectly for my social anxiety.

Based Chad.

>>34591790
>"anon can you read the rest of the passage?'
>s-sure
>start reading
>voice cracks
>a bunch of girls start laughing at me
>want to tell them to fuck off but too beta
>sit alone at lunch and angrily mumble to myself

>>34591807
So you didn't have the cool hair that makes saying all that ok and girls admire you? Shame on you for not applying for ninja academy

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>>34579245
>I'm anon
>I don't really have any interest
>"then just make something up anon"

My name is anon and I like to run (away from my problems)

>>34591868
no. I had huge yellow pimples and a curly red jew-fro. also I was pretty chubby back then.

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>>34579245
My name is tom and I got forced to go to a&e today at college after they somehow found out I have depression

They took my blood pressure and want me to take cbt

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>alright everyone, tell us your name and what you do in your freetime.
>everyone list off normie shit like sports and music
>mfw all I do is post on 9gag, masturbate, and play vidya

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>>34591948
>post on 9gag
You have hit a new low anon

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M-MynameisAnonandIlikevideogames.

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>literally my only hobby is guitar
>the guy right before me says his interesting fact is guitar
>mfw

>>34592047
>not using that as an opportunity to make a friend right there and mention you play guitar too, and that you should play together

>interesting fact
What do they mean by this?

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>>34587297


Hi Cupid.

Hello, my name is anon, I have an unhealthy internet obsession and hide behind many layers of ironic humor so i can masquerade the fact that I have crippling depression

Hello, my name is anon and I didn't pay all this money to listen to 40 people who I won't remember tell everyone how interesting and unique they.

Teach the class and do what you are paid for.

Also, Make America Great Again

>>34592378
>trump fag
not a robot get out you normie

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>>34579245
H-Hi, my name's Anon and uhhh, I ride my bike to work which is 2 hours a day to and from put together. I say I do it to stay fit but really it's so I can last longer while fucking my pillow at night.

>>34592459
No welfare for you, failureboy. I say boy because you will never be as burly and outgoing as me, a successful man who notices your childish shit.

>>34579245
In college people just state their major, I never understood how this was a hard question

>Freshman year math class
>Eager teacher
>"OK, class! I know we all hate those 'Say something' prompts...so I picked up a list of unique questions. It will help take some of that pressure off!"
>Each person has to stand, most of which getting silly questions about weirdest foods they've eaten, what they would do with unlimited money, what animal they would be
>Class is a generally good mood, sharing honestly
>Get to me
>"Anon! What is your online screen name, and how did you come up with it?"
>"Makarov30084!"
>"What is that, anon?"
>"It's a type of pistol and our zip--"
>"Anon, it's not appropriate to talk about guns in school. Do you like guns?"
>Class is now staring as my legs are shaking
>"I like going shooting in with the woods with my dad, and--"
>"That's enough, anon."
>Rest of the class is tense, thinking I'm some kind of school shooter

>>34579993
...wouldn't it just be easier to lie?

>>34593548
What state is this cucked?

>>34593647

That's the worst part. I live in Georgia. I was honestly hoping that I'd meet a couple other rednecky kids and we'd all be able to go out shooting in the woods together.

>>34593662
It would have worked in Montana/Wyoming. Come home whiteman.

>>34579245
No one gives a shit what you say then. Just don't lie. You could say like "my name's anon, and my favorite ice cream is mint chocolate chip"

And the half of the class that'd be listening to you would go "okay" and wait for their own turn, because public speaking man, it's biological the way you tense up before hand.