>wake up and see this in your room
>remember you left a turkey in the oven last night and it's still in there
>check phone and see 14 missed calls from mom
What do you do?
Call mommy. She wouldn't have tried 14 times if it weren't really important
>>34528487
R.I.P mom
Guess, I'll have to tongue and fuck this pooper in front of me as a way of mourning
The obvious answer is to kill myself, don't need to make difficult choices if I'm dead
>>34528487
first things first pull this indecent woman's pants up and figure out if she knows english so i can ask why the fuck she left the turkey in the oven. ignore mom as per usual
>>34528537
What did he mean by this?
origigugnalago
>>34528487
call mom and turn off the oven on the way out, tell the girl to do whatever the fuck she wants
>tfw momma's boy
MOM NEEDS ME ORIGINOLIO
>>34528752
I mean I see suicide as an answer to most problems because I'm a piece of shit
take the turkey out, go back in room and fuck. Call mom back
>>34528487
Roll over and go back to sleep. I'm a busy, growing healthy NEET.
>>34528487
Can't fuck in a burning house, but if the turkeys been in there since last night whatever, it's already toast what's another 5 minutes?
And I can call my mom while I'm banging the random whore in my room
>>34528487
>ignore mom
>fuck turkey
>>34528487
Call mumsie and release the turkey I had penned in the oven.
>>34528487
this butt is too big, looks weird
>>34528487
My mother comes first before all else.
>>34528487
>"sorry lady I don't know how to fix ass implants"
>go get turkey and throw it out a window cause that shit's burned af by now
>call dad
>tell him moms being a clingy bitch again and that she needs to get fucked in the ass
>leave room and ask mom if breakfast is ready yet
this is assuming I'll even wake up which, considering that it's still light out in that photo, is pretty unlikely.
>>34528487
Fuck woman on way to turkey while calling mom.
Use power of forward thrusts to move us, woman must tend to turkey for me.
>>34528487
>tfw mom had me a 17
>had a similar body with a slightly smaller butt when I was in my teens
>that huge amount of semen I've wasted fapping to her body
Good times..
>>34528487
I eat some turkey and ask the girl to leave
>>34532341
the fuck is wrong with you man?
>>34528487
BRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP *plop* hehe xD
>>34528512
This, if something happened to her or my grandma and I was distracted by some slut or a turkey, I'd never forgive myself.
>>34532110
>this is assuming I'll even wake up which, considering that it's still light out in that photo, is pretty unlikely.
You wake up after sunset?
Why did my turkey become a lady?
slap her with burnt turkey
mak her eat it
tell mom to bring me fresh food
>>34528487
Say "I see that you tried to call me 14 times, Mom," as she turns around to show me her gorgeous front.
>>34532376
Only child robot, whos only real interaction with anyone of the female gender on a personal level with was my mom.
I never really wanted to actually fuck her or anything, but I was a horny teen who was fascinated with the female body and hers was the only one around I could actually have close physical contact with
Treat her like any other intruder: gunshot
Turn off oven
Text mom
>>34532536
Is she still hot
originally, i meant to say
>>34528487
>tattoo
bash her head in and rape the body, I'm already in too deep assuming I'm in a strange house and fucking shit tier women.
>>34532428
>waking up before 6 pm
kek, nice meme dumbass
>>34532559
She's like 43 now so she's kind of plumper, but she still has a nice shape with a nice amount of jiggle in those good spots.
Wouldn't call her a hotty or anything, she kind of plain desu she just had a great body
>>34530068
suicide is the answer to *all* problems, you don't have to be a piece of shit to see that
>>34528487
>eat phone
>eat scorched turkey
>eat girl
Mission complete
>>34528487
Pound that turkey like it's my last and final nut.
>>34528487
>turn off oven
>text mom
"One sec"
>Fuck the shit out of her asshole
>Run home as soon as I bust a nut in her ass
>>34528487
>don't smell smoke
>turkey is lower risk threat
>missed calls only from mom, meaning nothing too important has occurred
>calls are a minimal risk threat
>woman has clearly set up some kind of workshop area in my room
>her objective is unclear
>IMMEDIATE THREAT
>tackle woman and beat her unconscious
>tie her up
>knock over her workstation
>take turkey out of oven
>put in fridge if still edible
>get lighter and lighter fluid
>go back to room
>set woman on on fire
>flee house after setting rest of it on fire
>see what mom was calling about
>"Anon, your mentally handicapped cousin Teresa is going to be staying with us. You know, David's daughter? Keep an eye on her, because you know how she is. It's been a years since you've seen her, but she still has her problems."
>"I've cut the oven off, you left the turkey in there."
>"I just had my wisdom teeth out, so I'll be home for the day. The painkillers will have me sleeping pretty heavily all day though."
>mom's room was next to mine
>look back at flame engulfed house
>bid farewell to mom and cousin Teresa
>go to that one abandoned farm up the street past the stop light
>sleep in barn
>live off land
>eat crops that continue to grow among the weeds on their own
>drink well water
>don't boil it
>get sick
>Typhoid fever
>die
>>34533349
top fucking kek. well played mate.