Anyone else here different after doing psychedelics so much/achieving ego death so many times?
How so?
I get those "I am the universe" thoughts a lot and it really calms down.
But I am also pretty disassociated all the time now, and music has permanently changed for me after I discovered I had synesthesia. My tinnitus has gotten a bit worse, though.
>>34511363
I would say my imagination became intensely more visual in normal, waking life. This is a blessing and sometimes a curse. Psychedelics also made it harder for me to quiet my own mind, but having played around some with meditation I think it can be dealt with. I also gained a pervasive disgust of sex and hedonism that I am unsure of how to reconcile. I wish I could've seen this thread sooner.
I had my first ego death last month after a bad trip on mushrooms. It was an experience I don't regret but would defiantly not want to have happen again. Easily my least favorite experience so far in life and i have been to the brink of death (although they are pretty similar)I wouldn't mind having an ego death during a good trip though.
I've taken 100mcg 10s of times without ego death, even though I want to experience it. I have 11 tabs left. How much should I take?
>>34512713
It's a hard feeling to pinpoint and frankly I think ego death is part of a spectrum. I had times on LSD where I clearly misidentified objects that weren't me as part of me. Then I had a very rare few times where I forgot who I even was as I was so immersed in the hallucinations. If you ever felt either you were probably somewhat there.
>>34511363
Acid helped me see myself for the human being i was in this world at this time. I was disgusted and a little saddened at the same time of what i saw but never the less it helped me see faults that i hadnt really noticed until then.
Made me realise how toxic my relationship with family is and how improving myself would not only benefit me but those around me.
At one point it was a little to much, I kept picking myself apart. Why i was the way i was and why i havent attempted to complete the goals i set.
I had to shut my acid trip down becuase i kept noticing how much time and opportunities ive wasted because of my own made up excuses.
Now I have a better understanding of how to gain the will to accomplish my goals and how not to be such a narsacistic individual.
Still so much more learning to do.....