Are you writing anything /r9k/? Post excerpts from whatever script,

The book lied there, like it was begging to be opened; Misha told me her "special book" was not to be opened, and that she trusted me with all her soul i was not going to open the book,
It was a small brown book with yellowish pages, that book was as old as her, according to Misha, she writes all her thoughts and desires in the book since she was 9, hence the name "special book" it was basically her diary.
But the curiosity was killing me
I was with her since elementary school, she was my friend, my high school partner and now my college roommate
Also my best and only friend
i needed to know what does she think of me, if she liked me or not, I NEEDED TO KNOW
since my mom ""adopted her"" after her family's car crash her book did not saw much activity, but her thoughts about me were already there
after a while of contemplating the bool i decided to do it
I opened in a random page, after searching a while i found a page labeled "Anon"
I read it
"if you dont reply to this post your mother will die in her sleep, all protections Are nullified after reading this"

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Don't know if this counts but I'm practicing my drawing skills so that I can eventually publish hentai.

I've been tinkering on a shorter essay over the least couple of weeks. I intend to post it here when it is finished, it is mostly my personal observations and reflections about growing up and not fitting into society. Basically just a long blog post.

My intentions are for it to be a series of texts where all the parts are connected but each part should be able to stand on its own. I haven't been very active with the writing, mostly because I don't really expect anyone to care about it.

http://pastebin.com/0rUAsZ6F

>>34482703
>I'm practicing my drawing skills so that I can eventually publish hentai.
Good work buddy.
More porn is always good.

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>>34483006
I went to all the trouble of writing a critique but 4chan won't let me post in text form due to non-ascii characters. I can't be bothered rewriting it all so I'll post it in image form.

For context, I spent most of my masturbation sessions from the ages of 15 to 20 masturbating to erotic literature and fap fiction. I'm a big fan of text smut.
I can see you've got potential, you've just got to practice.

Translated in English:

You would sometimes like to beget in someone else's eyes any kind of emotion, you yearn for the care of others. To be asked questions about who you are, then who you really are; about what you think, then what you really think; about what you feel, then what you really feel, when you slip into a bed that you heat up alone and that is therefore always too cold. You just would like to occupy in someone else's heart the room the entire world left void when they chose you to be their loser in their musical chairs. You often condemn those ideas, contemplating how narcissistic you are, how inelegant that is. But when you picture yourself in such situations, where you are to confess to another, you surprise yourself making up in your head the answers to the questions you want to be asked, you just imagine another person who is nobody but you. You predict on this same person the effects your worlds would have, you weigh them, you calibrate them based on what you feel when your hear them, you're just spinning in circle in your own novel.

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>>34482616
I haven't written much in a while, though I am planning on filming a one-page script I wrote that's literally just a massive Jojo's Bizarre Adventure reference. Pic related.

I'm excited to film it but I need to really hammer out a shot list in order to get it done effectively. I want the shoot itself to be like 4 hours tops. I can fuck around in editing.

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1/3

This is the beginning of a short story I am writing, I'd really appreciate some feedback.

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>>34484665
2/3

I don't know if anyone will invest the time to read this but I am very eager to see what people think.

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>>34484679
3/3

This is a good idea for a thread. I look forward to someone potentially reading through my words as I don't often share my writing.

I challenged myself to write a short, one page story. It turned out pretty good.

Another story I'm writing is a short, lovecraftian horror story. It's about this book that comes into a librarians possession. Slowly, the book begins to "take over" the library by means of a character called "The Caretaker."

References to The Caretaker start appearing in other works. Pages in other books become taken over by pages from the strange book. A strange and horrendous figure appears in paintings around the library. People begin to treat the librarian strangely.

A short except:

>A wild man gave me the book. He was tall, wiry, with tufts of hair white hair growing wildly across his scalp. Several times he pressed the strange book into my hands, and each time I refused.
>He said "This book belongs in a library" with such feverish intensity that at some point I broke down, and told him I would take it home with me and consider. This seemed to satisfy the man, and before I could say another word, he was several paces away from me.
>I turned the book over a few times. Under the dim streetlights I could make out the title. "The Caretaker." I searched for an author, and, squinting, found a name written out in crooked, black scrawl, across the first page. "The Caretaker: By Michael Bridger."

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>>34484611
I see you in every one of these threads.
I hope you finally get to shoot your short film soon.

My progress has fallen off a little bit due to starting some volunteer work but I've been converting some old stuff I right into a proper spec script as well as writing some new stuff.
I wrote a new sketch the other day which I had a lot of fun with. It's inspired by this job I applied for where not only did you have to do a little questionnaire about what you would do in specific customer service but they also had a logical thinking test.
To even apply for a basic banking call centre job, I had to solve a series of logical thinking tests and riddles. It was bizzare.
1/5

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>>34484765
2/5
I want to be original.

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>>34484780
3/5
I already know what my next few things to work on are. I've got two more old sketches that I need to rewrite into a proper script format and then I'm going to get started on my next short film script.

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>>34484800
I've got all the outlining and plans done for the next short film so typing up my first draft will be fun.

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>>34484810
5/5
And that's the end.
Professor Layton was obviously an inspiration for this one as well.

I'm hoping that the events of this one are clear and easily understood.

>>34484738
There's not much you can tell from such a short excerpt.
At a glance I can see some excessive commas and it probably wasn't necessary to repeat the title twice.
>Under the dim streetlights I could make out the title. "The Caretaker." I searched for an author, and, squinting, found a name written out in crooked, black scrawl, across the first page. "The Caretaker: By Michael Bridger."
You could probably consolidate those two sentences into one and it would flow better.

>>34484665
>>34484679
>>34484698
I found it hard to read.
I'm not sure if it's a stylistic choice but every sentence is so packed with extra syllables that I found it hard to take in.

>>34484914
Thanks for the feedback. I appreciate it. Yeah, I do tend to overuse commas quite a bit. Nasty habit I picked up.

>>34484964
It's sort of a mix between an aesthetic choice and my general approach (when it comes to my writing style). I've received some varied feedback with majority of the negative critique focusing on the idea that people found it overwhelming or simply didn't understand the piece as a whole. On the other hand I've had people who found it really impressive and engaging so it's been difficult for me to gauge where exactly the truth lies.

Thank you for the feedback, it means a lot!

>>34481445
Story about a kid and some dude fighting the Hell's Angels in Arizona. Starts off with one of the characters almost getting executed


I do my rounds of the junkyard, doing my part to keep watch over all the mountains of scrap. The fence usually keeps thefts from busting in and salvaging whatever they think to be of value. The junkies' usual favorite is scrap metal; guess it's pretty easy to throw a bit of rust across the counter to make a few bucks to fund whatever weird ass addiction people had these days. Most blame the cartels coming up from Central America, bringing new material into the market every day. People forget that meth isn't a new drug, it's just a bit more popular. I slip around the back of the storage shed, staring out over the desert. The pitch black eats away the glowing fluorescent lights that scatter the junkyard, but I swore to myself I saw something moving in the distance...
A noise catches me off guard. It's a low purr of a motor. I can barely make out a small windowless van on the interstate. Probably just another coyote pulling some desperate bastards from a border town. Oddly enough the van comes to a stop and pulls over onto a patch of gravel, the driver stepping out and slamming the door behind him. In the darkness I could barely make out his typical biker apparel, and his angry, faded expression. He edged along the side of the vehicle and opened the rear door, pulling something from the trunk of the vehicle...
It was a person, blindfolded with there hands tied behind them. The biker threw the body down onto the rocky ground where it struggled to get its hands free. I watched as the man drew a gun from his belt and pointed it towards the person's head.

>>34481445
I have a bunch of pictures of a huge disgusting shit I took, like probably 50 pictures from different angles and shit.

I'm writing a really really long description of the shit, it's currently about 3000 words long and i'm up to using picture 12 as inspiration. So I figure I can get my description to 15000 words. I might post it here once it's done.

>>34485183
See I thought it might have a choice to show off the poetry reader as being a bit unskewed and very analytical.
I was interested in the story and this character but I personally had trouble digesting it.
That's probably a fault with me rather than it all being on the writing though.

>>34485283
Well, it's meant to be reflective of the world he resides within. The idea is that he exists as a sort of cog within a machine that is sort of inconceivable to the average citizen. He has a very clear function but it is only through the narration that we get a broader contextual sense of the world he exists within. The idea is sort of a play on the eventuality of determinism is sort of inadvertently dystopian (at least if we consider egotism). I also want it to portray the value of expression and passion and how that could still flourish in a world in which human emotions are objectively understood.

>>34485408
>The idea is that he exists as a sort of cog within a machine that is sort of inconceivable to the average citizen.
That idea was communicated very clearly.
I had no problems picking that up.