Holy fuck I need some help with this >Be me >19 y/o virgin

>>34461753
tell her what you tried to do. explain to her that you failed and need her to suck for you

>>34461753
Go to the room where they're talking and scream
>LIKE YOU HAVEN'T TRIED TO LICK YOURSELVES BEFORE
and then run back to your room

Kys faggot also learn to lock your door before you do degenerate shit.

>>34461799
>having a lock on your doors
is this an american thing?

>>34461753
>"I was trying an yoga exercise I saw on YouTube. I'm sedentary most of the time and I'm feeling a little down, so I figured it might help."
Done.

>>34461826
Is getting walked in on while you're trying to suck your dick a European thing?

>>34461897
That might work give me a minute

>>34461753
That was really fucking funny holy shit.
Walk outta your room an go talk to them but pretend that you never tried to suck yo dick.
Funny as fuck.

>>34461897
wow actually rational advice

>>34461950
Actually get into yoga or they wont belive you at all
Start I want to

>>34461753
So were you able to put your mouth on your dick or not?
Kinda leaving us hanging on the only part of the story that matters.

>>34461897
OP here, so I tried to tell my parents it was a yoga exercise but I don't think they believed me. I snuck out the back door and I made my way to dairy queen. Should I run away or just kill myself?

>>34462115
I licked the tip but that was it

>>34462130
Kys I need some company for when I go to hell

>>34462130
buy a butterfinger blizzard for your mom, a butterfinger blizzard for your dad, and a peanut buster parfait for yourself and then return home

le problem
le solved

>>34462152
Do you think you could go further if you hadnt been so rudely interupted?
Maybe eventually be able to eat your own ass?
Perhaps?

>>34462184
Nah, the tip was the best I could do.

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50KB, 365x365px

>>34461753
Pls be real, I had quite the hecking giggles

>>34462130
Why wouldn't you just wait for them to confront you about it?

Broaching the topic with them as the initiator makes it seem like you did something wrong. There's no reason to kys, you didn't even fuck up. Just stop acting goofy about it now. You said your piece, now own it. It was just a yoga movement.

>>34462027
His mom will know and the dad will believe the mom over the son. Parents will always believe others over their kid.

I'm back guys. I went over to walmart and bought a yoga mat and some yoga CDs. I think I'll fool my parents. If they confront me I'll pretend nothing happened. Wish me luck.

FUCK FUCK FUCK

I HEARD MY PARENTS TALKING WITH A THERAPIST. I'M FUCKED.

>>34462130
Why is actual autism fucking hilarious?

>>34461826
Why are europeans so confident about their hideous naked bodies?

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9KB, 315x315px

You must end them, anon. You must not let them spread the word any more than it already has.

Omg this fucking thread 10/10

>>34462847
anon was doing the anal yoga we think hes gay

LOL