Who /suicidal/ here? What's keeping you here? What are

>>34452969
>What's keeping you here?

You mean on /r9k/ or life?
Life: don't want to hurt my family by killing myself
/r9k/: keeping myself occupied, never go out of my room so don't have a lot of things to keep my mind occupied.

>>34453099
If you had no family but somehow could still live as you do now would you really change your mind?

>>34452969

>me
>religion and family. Mostly religion.

>>34452969
>What's keeping you here?

Survival instinct

>>34452969
my son. I barely get to see him because of a wicked meth addiction. Shit sucks, I deserve to be dead.

>>34453355
My dad is a piece of shit meth addict too. Protip: just kill yourself. Your son wants you dead, he just doesn't have the heart to tell you.

>>34452969
I like to view it on a scale. My dislike for live may be 100. Meaning that I would really like to do something about it if I had the opportunity ( think like a Magic Button, you press it and its as if you never existed). But my dislike for Suicide is somewhere at 140.

TL;DR I hate live, but I hate suicide more.

>>34453488
Why do you dislike suicide?

>>34453502
Not that sure. I am not a fan of the act of dying. The state of death may be desirable but the way to get there is really shit.

I've got one friend in this and I am trying my best not to become dependant on her. She knows of my severe depression but not of my suicidal tendencies.

I've failed twice but I know how to do it right now. I love her honestly but I feel distance accumulating between us, I hope that before I go through with this she won't care about me anymore.

>>34453819
How did you fail? What did you try and what did you learn ?

My dad OD'ed and died two years ago. High school gf broke up with me, she's a prostitute now.
Held a loaded gun to my head more than once. Stood on the edge of a cliff, drunk as fuck and nearly died when the wind blew lol. Didn't bother me. I'm 20 and desu very good looking, aside from my Grey hair and receding hairline. One of the few things that bring me joy in this life are cocaine and sluts. Oh and my mom was a stripper my up until I was like 11.
If it weren't for my little sister, I would have pulled that trigger a long time ago desu.

>>34453899
Used an old ass belt which I clammed between my door, tore the thing apart. Second time I overdosed on non-prescription drugs.

I've learned that to get the highest chances, use multiple methods. Next time I will use my new belt(already tested) /and/ overdose on prescription drugs.

>>34452969
>Who /suicidal/ here?
Me
>What's keeping you here?
The faint possibility that eventually I'll pass as a girl and not have to live and be seen as a guy

>What are some thing you've done so far based on your tendencies?
I pace around my room constantly and play video games for 12+ hour sessions whenever I can

I want to see what the future is like

Maybe it won't be so bad - maybe I can find my purpose

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Im living to see the world end. I know it will. I even have a date.

>>34453099
>don't want to hurt my family by killing myself
this

and also because I'm a fucking pussy and I'm afraid of death

>>34453935
Live for your little sister anon. It is your duty to make sure that she does not become a degenerate like the other women in your life.

>>34452969
> TFW THE ONLY NORMAL WAY OUT IS A GUN BUT THERE IS NO EASY WAY TO GET ONE
> TWF YOU LIVE IN A COMMIBLOCK WITH 2 ROOMS AND 4 PEOPLE AND YOU CANNOT EASILY PREPARE A HELIUM EXITBAG
> COMMIEBLOCK IS TO SHORT TO SAFELY JUMP FROM
God just making fun of me.

>>34452969
Suicidal for ages

Nothing I know of is really keeping me here but I attempted suicide 2 weeks ago, was forced on Mirtazapine which has actually allowed me to have dreams for the first time in years, so that's not too bad. The Army psychiatrists and therapists or whatever have diagnosed me with Borderline Personality Disorder. I honestly don't know why I'm still around but I know next time I'll succeed.

>>34454118
Amen man. She's only 13 and her father is a convicted pedophile who touched my older sister and beat us all. I may kill him. She has no guidance. I'd like to have a decent gf myself, I can't trust them though. My ex did me so dirty after 3 years of dedication. I flopped on a date last night.

>>34454108
At this point I am not afraid of death. I had a surgery under narcosis and I think it is pretty similar to death, I literally didn't exist for a couple of hours, I just want back to this non-existence.

>>34453935
> had gf
> suicidal
Into the trash it goes, normie.

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>>34454099
Same here, imagining the world burns has this weird comforting feel.
Even better, some sort of an apocalypse where you roam ghost towns looking for supplies.

>>34453950
Jesus fucking christ. I was planning to go through with my plants tonight and guess what.

My dad was going out to a birthday party of someone that I don't know and he is wearing my belt by accident.

>>hope he doesnt see the extra hole i made tho :^))))))))))

>>34454228
I never had a surgery or something like that, so I really don't know how the sensation is.

>>34454249
lol Stfu, can you not read? She broke up with me after my dad died and became an escort. Yeah I get my dick wet once in a while from some skanks, I'm dead inside. I could write a book.

>>34454328
You are still happier that these kissless robots like me, go away, you have no moral right to be suicidal.

>>34454320
It's like when you are dead drunk and do not remember anything after.

>>34454383
You haven't a clue. I was beat by a pedphile my whole childhood. I'm homeless and my mother lives in a shelter. Oh but I've been kissed. Lol do you have a home, you ducking reject?

>>34452969
I keep writing walls of text about this but I openly downloaded some illegal shit just to compel myself to commit suicide. Not a pedo but after 10 years of internet addiction its not hard to locate. Please help me figure out just what the fuck I'm going to do next because its been 8 months and I'm pretty convinced I'm not ballsy enough to face death.

>>34454454
Don't do that man, that's what you'll be remembered for. I've co side red rob in
Bank.

>>34454123
Can you order online? Hemp rope is really cheap. Or just use a belt.

>>34454328
a trite an boring one I suppose

>>34454489
its too late, already done. Now do I need to skip town? Should I face it? I'm in Canada. I've read maximum sentence is 5 years. I cant look after myself anyway. Maybe minimum security will be okay. I suppose my real concern is the aftermath. Living as a pariah and such and trying to explain my retarded plan. And to employers its not much more desrieable to have someone who is chronically suicidal and self-destructive than a genuine pedo. I am well and truly fucked. Its especially bad because I did this on my personal phone.

>>34454494
The problem in the case of exit bag is that I have to store it somewhere and by parents will notice it and request an explanation.
I have no idea where to hand myself, there is almost no place to attach the rope and where I can do it, and there are a lot of shelves, beds and other shit around so probably it will be possible to survive standing/holding on them.

>>34454251
That. A literal Apocalypse. And if you survive

you basically get a new chance. Live itself may

be really shit but maybe your survival instinct kicks in...

At least all the Problem that you have because of society would be gone.

>>34454553
I'm in Canada to senpai. As I said earlier my little sisters dad is a convicted pedo who has touched two kids. He did 18 moths in a rehabilitoom centre. Not even prison. I fucking hate this liberal shit whole.

I'm too much a faggot to kill myself.
Sadly

usually i just wait it out and something nice happens to me to make me keep going

ive been waiting a long time now though

>>34454606
I hate it too and its one of the reasons I want to kill myself but at least its a relief I probably wont have to take Tyrone's big dick just because I tried to blow up my life. Still I don't know how I could live with the scarlett letter and getting scowls all the time and never being able to make cnnections because I'll be in some registry just a click away.

>>34452969
been suicidal for 15 years. dad passed away when i was in 8th grade and haven't recovered since. i guess my mom is keeping me alive in terms of emotional stability, but some of her expectations for me are too high. i'll never be a six-figure making CEO of a company or some shit. dropped out of college a few years ago and im not going back. does insomnia count as a suicidal tendency? i heard lack of sleep could eventually kill you.

>>34453355
>>34453444
Exactly, give the kid a break and kill yourself.

I wanted mine to kill himself from the age of seven for how much of an embarrassment he was to me.

kill yourself, you fucking loser.

>>34454690
Are you me? My dad died when I was in 10th grade and it still hurts every day. I also dropped out of college and I barely sleep

>>34454658
Didn't you say this was 8 months ago? Burn everything if you're that paranoid.

>>34454567
Do you have access to the roof of your block? Most have things on the roof that are there to attach a rope to or something similar. I live in one of those too.

Too much of a coward, won't do it to my parents and always some sort of hope it will get better.

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>>34454716
the feeling is so bad. every day i feel the same emotions i felt at his wake 15 years ago. it's a never-ending plague. i just want to die. my condolences to u man. no one should have to experience losing their dad.

>>34454807
I feel you guys, trust.

>>34452969
does hanging myself hurt

>>34454746
Needless to say I already destroyed the data and the phone but its probably in the cloud somewhere. The google bot is probably "identifying all images of pizza". I'm fucked family.

>>34454880
Depends. If you have a good enough noose and drop from sufficient height it will simply snap your neck. But if you mess up it will choke you to death ...

>>34454099
Yo Can guys like you pls an hero, ur heats drawing negative Enigmas into this World, so we Can finally win darwinism.
-Magentas everywhere.

Started visiting the psychiatry a month ago for depression and suicidal thoughts, finally got to see a doctor today.

He said I don't look depressed and that they'll wait and see.

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>>34453099
i think youre the same as me, we see thing they will never see

>>34454749
No, everything is locked, and I would probably lose any courage.

my grandfather just died and it would destroy my mom if i killed myself now