>"Help! I've fallen and i can't get up"

die

original tbqh senpai

Life alert, duh.

>>34438279
im not fucking taking care of some old grandma, fuck off. I would never be in this situation

>>34438330
Its the closest you'll ever get to pussy tho

>>34438360
I'd rather die a virgin than have a cobweb

>>34438279
Stomp her head in

Oregon

>be me
>old
>fall
>tfw no life alert
>die on the floor of my 1 story condo
>get discovered 3 months later at Christmas because i wasn't returning my sons calls

>>34438431
That kinda shit frightens me.

>>34438279
What do you mean what do? If I'm a spectator, I'll help her up. If that's me, I'll fuggin roll down the stairs.

>>34438468
>not fucking her

>>>/reddit/

>>34438446
Then live now and die young, pussy.

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>>34438279
*suffocates her*
whoops

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>>34438279
>"Help! I've fallen and i can't get up"

My life in a nutshell

>>34438483
>You walk out of the shower, water dripping down your body as you use your towel to dry your hair
>Everything is calm and peaceful when you hear it
>"Help! Help!"
>What? That sounds like grandma!
>And she's in trouble!
>You quickly rush to her room and open the door
>"Oh, thank goodness, anon! I've fallen and can't get up!"
>Suddenly, you can't help but notice her blushing
>Looking down, you see your bare body just barely being shielded by your towel in a loincloth like fashion
>"A-anon? When did you become such a man?"
>You hate to admit it, but you've actually been eyeing your grandma for years
>Now, here she is, alone and helpless as you stand over her in just your towel
>All the things the two of you could do together goes rushing through your mind
>You come back to reality as your grandma starts to giggle
>"Well, it looks like YOU have no problem getting up."
>This can't be happening! Is she really eyeing your crotch?!
>"You know, Anon... Grandpa always did say I was better as the designated bottom..."

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>>34438808
10/10, what a fucking masterpiece