Why am I unable to keep friendships? I want a single friend,

Why the hell would you want friends?
Friends are fucking disgusting garbage. Humans should not even be allowed to interact with each other.

>>34424680
You are at this moment interacting with other humans.

>>34424690
I knew you were gonna say that.
I'm already aware of this, idiot.

You just need to drop the insecure angst, you're not going to get anywhere in a friendship if you just keep worrying that you're upsetting them.

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>>34424730
I don't worry that i'm upsetting them while we are talking. It's after I just pull the plug and disappear.

>>34424680
Because friends are good to have. I remember the good feeling and I want to feel it again, but it has been years.

>>34424636
It sounds to me more like you are unwilling to maintain friendships than unable. People hurt each other accidentally all the time. It is a part of any long-term friendship. If you screw up, apologize, don't make a big deal out of it, and move forward. They probably care a lot less about it than you do. Routinely do helpful things for your friends such as helping with cleaning or yard work, and you will have been a benefit to your friends on average even if you are clumsy or unpleasant during social interactions.

>>34424761
Then don't pull the plug.

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>>34424779
Keep in mind i'm mainly talking about online friendships. And it could it that i'm just unwilling to hold a friendship. Usually I put lots of effort into it, and feel as if I burn out after a couple weeks.

>>34424811
I tried many times. But my interactions suddenly become empty if I don't do that. I stop playing games, watching stuff together. I stop giving more expansive replies and asking questions and starting conversations. End up feeling completely numb to the person.

>>34424680
You are expressing a personal preference as if it were a universal fact. The comforts of civilization would not be possible without our tendency to form networks of interpersonal relationships. This is because relationship networks make trade and specialization possible. This practical benefit proves that friends are not disgusting garbage. If we were mostly solitary like bears, who are also highly-adaptable omnivores, we would still be naked savages having short, terrifying, and disease-infested lives in the savannas.

>>34424835
Maybe there's no hope for you then.
Noose is right there anon.

>>34424835
Friendships don't have to be constantly active, I also stop engaging with the other person after some time and then disappear for 2 months, after I'm back I feel like talking again. Tell the other person you need a break and don't pull the plug completely.

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>>34424854
I don't see why I would want to hang myself over it. If I wont be able to have friends, I wont. I was just wondering if anyone ever felt something similar during their life.

>>34424864
I guess a minor problem is that i've met most of my recent friends on 4chan and on this board specifically. Whenever I tell them "I need a break", people lose their shit.

>>34424873
The only friends I have are from here too, if they don't understand you need a break, the plug is basically pulled, so it doesn't matter if they leave, but some will stay and still be your friends, stick with these people.

>>34424835
Don't try so hard then. Just let things proceed naturally. Also, the novelty wears off of a new friendship fairly quickly. The numbness you are describing is normal. It just means that the relationship is becoming a routine aspect of your life that you are taking for granted. The fact that our relationships are often dull or unsatisfying is just one of those unfortunate realities of life. Emotionality in the relationship will come and go, gradually ebbing and flowing like the tides.

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>>34424636
ill be your friend no strings attatched
and ill motivate you...
what vidya do you play?

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>>34424905
>>34424888

Thank you for your perspective. I guess i'm just worrying about it too much and making the wrong decisions.

>>34424919
I don't play too much of anything these days, because playing multiplayer games alone is boring. But if I had someone to play with, can play anything. FPS, moba, strategy, mmo, random coops. Doesn't matter. I just don't like sports games and never got into fighters.

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>>34424951
lets play some ow/csgo/dota2/FFXIV then?

got a steam or discord

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>>34424972
on phone now, but sure.

discord Lexi#9694

Pretty much me. originalio.

>>34424636
I feel like the only robots that are alone are the stupid ones, if you were smart enough to go into pure math or similar (like CS theory) you're bound to meet many fellow autistic travelers (what were called aspies before). In my experience it's usually pretty easy to befriend them since you can be surrounded by people of a shared obsession and view of social world rather than low functioning normie scum.

>>34424972
not op.

i play csgo and dota 2

are you a grill or guy?

>>34424636
I feel like it is nearly imposible to get a friendship as an adult. you can make "friends" at work. But how do you make them friends? interact with them in your freetime? keep them?
If you look at what people suggest, asking whether somebody want to go see a movie, that seems just awkward.
Maybe that's how it's supposed to be? superficial relationships have to be enough

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>>34426098
I am stupid. I regret not going for a CS degree. I am happy i'm doing it as a hobby everyday now and want to try getting a job in the field tho.

> easy to befriend them since you can be surrounded by people of a shared obsession

I'd love to find someone who likes doing amateur gamedev. That's basically my hobby.

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>>34424636
I'm both comforted and unsettled, knowing now that it's not just another delusion of own.

>>34424636
You're better off not.
It's far worse to have year-long friendships end in betrayal for dumb normalfag reasons.

Trusting someone, and them utterly shitting on every part of you in your time of need.

Fuck normalfags.

I enjoy floating from friend to friend, finding knowledge - anything is better than full betrayal after years.

Also senpai, I reccomend simply telling anyone you talk to upfront in complete honesty your views on friendship - in advance -so they know and are forewarned and you don't hurt them. It's autistic as fuck. But honesty is everything.

>>34426341
I usually spend my first week of any friendship warning and "testing" out a person to see if they can truly understand and cope and relate with me and my views. I don't "attach" myself to them until I am sure.

Some call this mean or manipulating, but to me it is simply protecting myself and them from me.

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>>34426341
> It's far worse to have year-long friendships end in betrayal for dumb normalfag reasons.

I honestly wouldn't mind if a friend stopped talked to me because of like him finding a job, studying, getting a loved one etc. I want people to succeed and want to motivate each other to do so. Knowing that the other person improved his life and is happy would be amazing.

> Also senpai, I reccomend simply telling anyone you talk to upfront in complete honesty your views on friendship - in advance -so they know and are forewarned and you don't hurt them. It's autistic as fuck. But honesty is everything.

This is what i've did. I also always tell people i'm a guy, since they always think i'm a girl for some weird reason. Still end up in situations where people get the wrong idea on what our friendship is and then i'm pushed into a situation where I don't know what to do.

>>34424636
people are assholes and will lead you on so they either have someone to talk to when nobody else is around, or so they have someone to make fun of when their actual friends are

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>>34426341
Honestly i'd say it's rather reasonable to confront someone with own perspectives or approach to relationships and the likes.

Though i'd say there might, be not harm in long term relationships, sure some might end in betrayal, some are likely to just drift apart with time and distance, but sooner or later someone might spark.
>>34426365
Whilist i'd call it reasonable, if not admireable, cause as far as i'm concerned that'd be way healthier of an approach than fooling one another. And those very same views, understanding and common groand could be considered fundaments for good relations.

>talk to online friends every day and have fun

>now haven't talked to any of them in months
>I'm afraid my current best friend will be like this because we don't talk as much anymore

who /destinedtobealone/ here

>>34426383
I don't mind when they stop talking to me when they succeed, infact that is usually my biggest joy. That is not betrayal, that is love.

What I mean by dumb normalfag reasons, is things like quite literally turning on me and bashing me and calling me retarded over making a small mistake in a game, as an example, and then quite literally admitting I was never their friend and I was just there when noone else was. :(

>>34426396
Thanks anon. I have met a few (very small number) of friends that I have had for years with the complete honesty method. While they drifted apart, they were all for good reasons like getting 100k/yr jobs, living their life, and so on. They say I helped them a lot and it makes me happy inside :)

>>34426383
Indeed, this happens a lot to me. I have guy characters in a game, and everyone thinks I'm a girl/gay/so on. I'm just a guy with an extreme amount of feels.

I have had guys literally talk to me for 2 hours, ask if I'm a girl, I say I'm a guy. They don't believe me and start getting super sexual and I have to block them.
Fucking ridiculous.

>>34424636
Falling out with friends is common. I have group of friends who I will talk to almost everyday and then one day I'll have arugment and we all not talk for a month or so and we will all talk to other friends but eventually someone will say let's meet up and we will look past the issues they are rarely big issuse unless you are romantically involved. I only have 1 friend that I would consider truly close and would contact when really need someone to talk to even then we've had falling outs and once I didn't talk to him for a year and once some time has past its easy to look past the reasons you stop talking to each other. You just have to remember hating some for long periods of time is unhelpful and will only make making new friends harder best to forgive and forget.

>>34426728
Indeed this. The true way to move on from friends that have left I've found is to realise and accept everything is temporary - people will come and go, the knowledge you have learnt from them will stay. Growth relationships, in both friendships and love, are the only way forward. Better yourself, and othes - drift until you find what it is you are looking for.

I still have not found it, and may never, but keep searching..

>>34424636
Hello.
Wanna be friends?
I like your style.
Let's be friends!

>>34426341
The idea of not keeping friends around for a long time because you'r afraid of full blown betrayal is crazy you can tell after a week or two if someone is fit to be your friend it's not always easy but if you ask the people around them what they think of some you'll know exactly what kind a person is and you know exactly what kind of person you are. You have remember not everyone is good person and that's OK you don't have to be a good person to have good friends bad people get friends too. Most people are going to do their best to not hurt Their friends. Just remember most people you meet will say they happy %90 of the time even if they are not it's unhealthy to be happy all the time and it's unhealthy to think you should be happy all the time. Some times you're sad other times you're happy but it's never permanent most of the time you'll be just OK and that's just fine.

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After thinking about it I guess I should just look for a person I an have something in common with, rather than forcing a friendship with whomever.

I'll just focus on finding someone who is interested in gamedev, ants to talk about it and want to improve their life.

Another problem used to be having nothing in common. No interests or hobbies to talk about.